ROUGH RYDERS: Week Three

If I did the math right, had I started Tony Romo this weekend, as I had done the first two weeks of this season, I would have actually won this week’s matchup against The Mana Junkies. Despite Romo’s excellent play thus far this season, I felt his matchup against the Chicago Bears defense this weekend was unfavorable, whereas Vince Young’s matchup against New Orleans had much more potential. As it worked out, it wasn’t an unmitigated disaster, as Young had a very good game, his best of the season so far. He just didn’t do quite as well as Romo. Whether it was a Bears’ defense decimated by injuries, or the idea that Romo and the Cowboys’ offense is for REAL, the fact is that Romo’s slightly better fantasy performance would have helped me.

But it shouldn’t even matter.

Look at Ronnie Brown’s numbers for The Mana Junkies. 47.1 fantasy points is phenomenal, and I feel confident when I say that Brown’s performance against the Jets this past Sunday is the best game he’ll ever have in the NFL. The point is that breakout performances like Brown’s can never be predicted, and certainly can’t be managed or countered in fantasy football.

Look at Yahoo’s projected scores for this week’s matchup. Our beloved Rough Ryders were favored by 60 points against a team that had FOUR players not even playing this weekend. By any rational thought, this weekend should have been an ugly, lopsided victory, but instead, Ronnie Brown happens…

And Hines Ward leaves his game with a knee injury after one catch.

And Calvin Johnson leaves his game with a back injury after two catches.

And Lance Briggs leaves his game with a groin injury at the end of the second quarter.

And LaDainian Tomlinson is once again (mostly) shut down in another tough matchup against a very good Packers’ defense. San Diego plays KC next Sunday, and I gotta believe this is the week LT finally delivers. 47.1 fantasy points for Ronnie Brown is mostly absurd, but 47.1 fantasy points for Tomlinson is certainly rational.

Elsewhere on my team, Chad Johnson had another great game, and is currently the #1 receiver in the NFL, so I feel pretty good about grabbing him with my #2 draft pick. There seems to be no stopping the Bengals’ passing game, and now with RB Rudi Johnson’s hamstring injury, they may need to rely on the passing game more than ever.

Marshawn Lynch continues to be the sole bright spot on one of the most inept offenses (Buffalo) in the NFL. If their passing game was only slightly effective, and Buffalo could get into the Red Zone, Lynch might actually get to score a TD once in awhile. Let’s see what happens now that JP Losman is injured and Trent Edwards takes over the Bills’ reins. It can’t get any worse.

It can get worse for our beloved Rough Ryders, though...This is a matchup that we definitely should have won, but more importantly, it was a weekend that saw injuries that will probably have a negative impact on the team...If two of my three starting wide receivers are out for any amount of time, it's gonna be a long, tough season. And if Lance Briggs is out for any significant amount of time, not only do I lose his fantasy value, but having the Bears defensive unit on my team will take a hit as well...Then keep in mind that the Bears have lost four defensive starters this past weekend.

I hope I'm wrong, but when this season is over, I may be pointing back at this week three, because this may have been when the entire Rough Ryder season started to unravel.

Hotcha!

Hank

Super Furry Thursday

Animated video courtesy of Numero 6.

"(At Least) It's Not The End Of The World?" courtesy of Super Furry Animals.

Hotcha! courtesy of Hank.

HANK RANKS, No.10

My 14 Favorite Baseball Caps Worn By Judah Friedlander On "30 Rock"

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Comedian/Actor Judah Friedlander plays Frank Rossitano on the NBC sitcom, 30 Rock. The character is a staff writer for a late-night sketch comedy show, and in general, Friedlander plays him off as raw, real, honest, which also means he's a dude who'll pick up luncheon meat from the floor of a television studio and stuff it into his mouth without giving it a second thought.

Anyways...Frank always, always always sports a baseball cap with some sort of text on the front...If I counted correctly (yeah, I can get obsessive with really stupid things) Frank wore 30 different caps during 30 Rock's first season...

Here are my fourteen favorites:

14: Bahama Trapezoid
13: Beef N Bean
12: Liz Rocks
11: Time Travel Agent
10: Alien Knight Force
09: Beef Ravioli
08: Alabama Legsweep
07: 1,000,000 Points
06: Mystery Solver
05: Karate Sluts
04: Hand Held
03: E.S.P. Tutor
02: UFO Cop
01: Bigfoot Expert

Hotcha!

Hank

It Just Doesn't Smell Right

Alot of folks are mentioning karma in relation to OJ Simpson...

"Dude got away with murder, double murder," they say, "and this latest round of criminal activity just proves he's a bad, bad man, and when he eventually goes to jail for all this, he'll be where he belonged these past ten years."

Some have said...Or so I paraphrase...

You get my drift...Anyways...

I think OJ Simpson routinely travels with an armed entourage. If you were OJ Simpson, wouldn't you travel with at least a dude or two with a piece? I would. Even out on the golf courses of Florida I'd make sure my caddy was strapped. OJ is/was/is a free man, you know, and so he rolls through places like Vegas, which is still a pretty dangerous city, no matter what the Tourism Board might say...

So OJ and his associates go into a hotel room in Vegas, and at least one of those associates is strapped, and of course OJ knows his associate is strapped, so when OJ (allegedly) says, "Don't let nobody out of this room", you gotta believe there's the insinuation there, the implication, that a gun or two will keep anyone from leaving that room.

I say (parenthetically) "allegedly", but that's what OJ says on the tape obtained/provided by TMZ.com, and WTF is up with THAT? Who taped it? One of OJ's accusers? Is this whole thing a set-up? Tell OJ to meet 'em in the room to hand over the memorabilia in question, but when the Juice gets there, play it out (recorded to tape, natch) like a strong-armed robbery...

OJ goes down for multiple felonies and suddenly that memorabilia takes another spike in value...

Or something.

I don't know if it was pride or fiscal desperation that brought OJ to that hotel room the other day, but it wasn't karma, I don't think.

Maybe it's just stupidity.

Hotcha!

Hank

ROUGH RYDERS: Week Two

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Who needs LaDainian Tomlinson playing well when I've got some other player putting up 40+ fantasy points every week?

This week, Cincinnati Bengal WR Chad Johnson was my #1 stud - 11 catches, 209 yards, and 2 TDs, adding up to an impressive 43.9 fantasy points. More impressive, however, is the fact that "Ocho Cinco" leapt into "The Dawg Pound" (the rowdy bleacher section beyond the endzone at Browns Stadium in Cleveland) after catching his second TD of the day...Probably not as daring as leaping into the "Black Hole" at Oakland, but still, ya gotta give props to Johnson for doing what he says he's gonna do...Anyways, how about that Bengals-Browns game? Holy shit! Cleveland may not score that many points in their remaining 14 games. The Bengals probably will. In any event, these two teams must surely have two of the worst defenses in the NFL, but I'm not complaining...Carson Palmer is going to have to throw an awful lot this season, just to keep the Bengals competitive, and that's fine by me...

Speaking of the Cincy-Cleveland game - my fantasy opponent this week, Just Another Team (managed by Thee Fractioneer) had Cincy's #2 WR, TJ Houshmandzadeh in his lineup, and "Housh" had a pretty damn good game himself - 8 catches, 69 yards, and 2 TDs (26.9 fantasy points) - but as far as I know, he didn't leap into The Dawg Pound.

Ahhhh, LT...For the second straight week, the Chargers found themselves pitted against a formidable defense, this time the New England Patriots. With or without spies, the Patriots pretty much shut down LT in all aspects of the game, leading the NFL's MVP to a rather disappointing 10.8 fantasy points. It may be worth noting that LT's first fantasy point was for a tackle after the Charger's QB, Philip Rivers, threw an INT in their first offensive series. In hindsight, this was an omen of things to come for LT and the Chargers this weekend. It's only the second week of the season, but damn if the Patriots don't look like the team to beat this year, and favorites to win the Super Bowl XLII next January...

Hines Ward...Quiet week...5 catches, 55 yards, no TDs...

Calvin Johnson...The Detroit Lions rookie is already establishing himself as a fine NFL receiver, catching a TD pass in each of his first two games, and in turn, putting up some fairly respectable fantasy numbers so far...This week he was good for 17.8...Speaking of Calvin Johnson, he's the subject of one of my favorite quotes from this weekend, courtesy of his teammate Roy Williams, who is fond of saying "We got Megatron!", which is apparently Johnson's nickname...Well, all I can say is - "The Rough Ryders got Megatron!" LOL

Another rookie on our beloved Rough Ryders, Buffalo's Marshawn Lynch, has been solid, if not spectacular so far this season...This week he found himself up against the Pittsburgh Steeler's vaunted defense, no easy task for even the most seasoned veteran RB, but Lynch was good for 9.5 fantasy points based on 65 rushing yards and a single reception, making him about as valuable as LT this weekend...It doesn't help that Buffalo's offense seems in disarray at the moment, with QB JP Losman being mostly useless thus far, and in turn, their number #1 WR, Lee Evans (Hello, Wisconsin!)...I believe Lynch is a very good RB, but if the Bills are going to be playing from behind all season, and Losman keeps throwing incomplete passes, Lynch's effectiveness (and fantasy value) will be tempered a bit...

Tony Gonzalez...My fantasy TE from the Kansas City Chiefs hasn't set the world on fire so far this season either...This week he caught 4 passes for 43 yards, adding up to a ho-hum 8.3 fantasy points...Again, it would appear that this former fantasy stud is now playing on a pretty crappy team with a fairly anemic offense, which includes workhorse Larry Johnson...I grabbed Gonzalez with my 4th round pick this year, and so far, that's looking like a mistake, though not as big a mistake as drafting SF's Vernon Davis as my TE on another fantasy team of mine, The Super Doom Unit...

Chicago Bears Team Defense...Holy crap! I grabbed the Bears' team defense with my 5th round pick, and so far, it's looking like a wise choice...Not only are they a premier defense in the NFL, but return man Devon Hester is an absolute BEAST...Not only did he run back a kickoff for a TD, but he also ran back a punt for a TD before it was (rightfully) called back on a holding penalty...Anyways - sacks, fumble recoveries, and already the 2nd blocked kick of the season - it all adds up to great fantasy numbers...

Leading the way, was Lance Briggs, who had about as good a game at linebacker as anyone can possibly have...20 fantasy points from 11 tackles, a sack, and a forced fumble that he recovered himself...It's no surprise that the Bears named Briggs a franchise player this year, this guy is as good as they get, which isn't the easiest thing for a diehard Packer fan like myself to admit...The Bears are hated (but respected) here in Wisconsin...Unlike the Vikings, whom we simply hate...

Anyways, that's about it for this week's fantasy football recap...Once again, both of my DBs, Troy Polamalu and Asante Samuel, were useless, and I already dropped Polamalu in favor of the Colts' Bob Sanders...I love Polamalu as much as any man can love a safety, but this is fantasy football, and I ain't fucking around...Samuel better start intercepting some balls, or at least tackle somebody, or he's gonna head to free agency as well...

Finally, the quote of the week comes from FOX color commentator Troy Aikman, who said this prior to the Packer-Giants game: "You know the game has changed when you see punters wearing short sleeves and showing off the pipes."

Winona Rough Ryders are 2-0!

Hotcha!
Hank

WEBSITE DOWN!

It was inevitable.

Thee Butterscotch Threshold, the website I launched in March of 2002, is out of commission.

Long story short, a friend of mine (whom I've lost contact with over the past couple of years) at AcidPlanet, hosted Thee BST for free on a server she was running down in Dallas. And while I doubt she'll ever read this post, I've got to give a humongous hug and "thanks" to Monica for doing such and ubelievably generous thing for me, for a solid 5+ years. This morning I clicked to find that Thee BST is redirected to HOST ROCKET, so apparently Monica has finally pulled the plug. Like I said, this was inevitable.

So...The question now becomes, do I find a new host for Thee BST, or do I go ahead with plans to launch everythingathon.com? The thing is - The Everythingathon podcast was the only feature at Thee BST which was still being updated regularly, so it only makes sense right now to go ahead with that plan. I love Thee BST, and had many "fans" of the site, so it's a difficult decision if I end up scrapping it forever...I suppose as long as I own the domain, I could ressurrect it at any time...

Anyways, Thee BST's shutdown has a direct impact on this HOT POOP blog, as the mp3 from the Something 4 The Weekend feature were hosted on that BST server...You'll notice that none of the audio streams here anymore...All apologies...

So, I asked before, and I'll ask again, what do YOU think, all six of you regular HOT POOP readers? Do I ressurrect Thee BST, or should I go in a slightly new and different direction and start EVERYTHINGATHON? Let me know in the comments, and thanks for visiting this blog.

Hotcha!
Hank

ROUGH RYDERS: Week One

As impressive as the Indianapolis Colts were (on both sides of the ball), Thursday night's opening game against the New Orlean Saints just didn't feel right. It felt like a pre-season game, despite the pre-game BIG GAME performances by Kelly Clarkson, Faith Hill, and John Mellencamp, none of whom performed songs or presented images that have anything in common with professional football, save slick, slick corporate professionalism and the fact that Mellencamp is from Indiana...

Anyways, the Colts almost completely shut down the potent Saints offense, including QB Drew Brees, meaning my fantasy opponent this week, The Hairy Nipples (managed by Gil), got off to a horrendous start. Meanwhile, my QB, Tony Romo, had a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuge first game,

throwing for 4 TDs and running for a fifth...In the end, that 40 point differential at QB made all the difference in this week's fantasy matchup. I probably won't be so lucky again...

I needed a career game from Romo to win my matchup this week, because the Hairy Nipples are fucking formidable, especially at WR, DB, and DL...35 fantasy points from the 4 defensive positions is SICK, and then consider that Brian Urlacher was the weak link in that chain...

The Hairy Nipples' 3 WRs combined for almost 80 fantasy points, which is just as impressive...For their part, my three WR did as expected, although it would have been nice to see Berrian find the endzone...Both Hines Ward and Chad Johnson scored TDs, and CJ was on his way to a monster game before being completely shut down in the second half of his game against Baltimore...

At running back, my #1 stud, LaDainian Tomlinson, was held to a meager 25 yards rushing by the Chicago Bears, but still managed a rather respectable 27 fantasy points, finding TD paydirt twice, once on the ground, and once as a passer...This is what makes him #1 in the fantasy football world...Even on an "off" day, he still outscores most everyone else...In fact, this week, Lamont Jordan was the only RB who scored more fantasy points than LT...My other back, Julius Jones, was completely average and unremarkable, but he's still my favorite RB in the NFL...

Elsewhere, my TE, Tony Gonzalez, had a subpar game (by his standards), which might be a common occurrence this season, as it appears the KC Chiefs are not going to be a very good football team.

Likewise, my kicker, Neil Rackers, had a subpar weekend, as well as all of my defensive players, with the possible exception of Lance Briggs, who was as solid and dependable as he ever was...

In the end, it was a fantasy matchup I really had no right in winning, or maybe this year's beloved Rough Ryders is better than I think they are...Next week should be interesting, as I'll start two rookies, Marshawn Lynch and Calvin Johnson, who had impressive NFL debuts this past weekend. It's going to be another tough matchup, against Just Another Team (managed by The Fractioneer), which appears to be much more than just another fantasy team...

Anyways, it's always nice to start off a new fantasy football season with a victory, something that rarely happens to our beloved Rough Ryders, so I'll take it, and relish it...Be sure to check back again next week, and every week, for my weekly Rough Ryders recap.

Hotcha!

Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 41

I love Lynyrd Skynyrd. In fact, as far as good ol' Classic Hits rock goes, Skynyrd is probably my favorite '70's band. They just wrote great rock songs, and had amazing musical skills plus solid production values to make 'em undeniable. Lynyrd Skynyrd sounds great at a party, whether it's in a basement or a barbeque, their tunes work great at strip clubs, are essential jukebox material at all respectable biker bars, and sound just about perfect while blowing down some rural state highway at 75mph...And they've got enough shimmy and boogie for sexin'...

Lynyrd Skynyrd: "I Know A Little": 128k mp3

"I Know A Little" is off Lynyrd Skynyrd's 1977 LP, Street Survivors...Three days after the album's release, the band's plane crashed in rural Mississippi, killing six people, including lead singer Ronnie Van Zandt and guitarist Steve Gaines. Gaines wrote "I Know A Little", a speedy lil' boogie/shuffle showcasing the band's versatility and guitar skills...

Of note is the fact that Aerosmith had previously rejected that particular plane and crew, considering them unreliable. Now consider if Aerosmith had perished in 1977, and Skynyrd had gone on to perform big, dopey ballads written by the likes of Desmond Child for the soundtracks to big, dopey Hollywood action films starring Bruce Willis.

Yeah.

Hotcha! Hank