Brave Sideways Maneuver, Captain

Ed Crawford had a thankless fucking job, but he took it on, man...He was a huge Minutemen fan back in Ohio, and when D. Boon tragically died in an auto accident, he actively sought ought Mike Watt and George Hurley and offered his services as a guitarist, singer, and songwriter...

Some might call that opportunistic, or even crass, but you know, he really was a fan, and while he would never quite be the iconic talent that was D. Boon, he really was a damn fine musician, and his style was obviously influenced by D. Boon, but without merely ripping it off...

So, here we've got a very early performance by Firehose, on their home turf of L.A., working out the kinks in their first batch of tunes that would become the Ragin', Full-On LP...

Yeah, alot of folks never fully accepted "Ed From Ohio" or even Firehose as a band, but they were a good band with a bunch of good tunes, and it all felt very much like a natural progression from Minutemen...Less strident and angular, more artsy and groovy...Maybe not so much on this particular tune, but hey, Ed's still a brave captain...

Hotcha! Hank

This Sideways Maneuver Doesn't Exist

A swell music video for the Meat Puppets' nifty little tune "We Don't Exist", circa 1994, and yeah, this video looks pretty damn typical of videos of that era, eh? Grainy B&W, fisheye lenses, fast-cut edits, a fat dude in a wife-beater...Always a fat dude in a wifebeater...

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 82

Firehose: Ragin', Full-On: "Under The Influence Of Meat Puppets" [mp3]

Meat Puppets: Mirage: "I Am A Machine" [mp3]

One of the five best concerts I've ever attended would definitely have to be the Meat Puppets and Firehose show I witnessed at Shank Hall circa 1991, and as I type that, I'm actually kinda impressed with myself, in the same way I was always impressed when one of my HS social studies teachers, Mr. Schill, talked about seeing some great classic rock band of the '60's and '70's...The Who, Jimi Hendrix, The Rolling Stones, Velvet Underground, T. Rex, Lynyrd Skynyrd...

Now, you might never lump Firehose or the Meat Pups onto that list with those great, moldy old bands, but I certainly would...The Meat Puppets were/are extraordinary musicians individually, and together, one of the tightest rock trios to ever lay it down...They mattered to a certain number of us back in the 80's and early 90's, and in our eyes, they are every bit as important and legendary as The Doors are to somebody else...

Speaking of trios, Firehose, of course, contained the Minutemen's rhythm section - drummer George Hurley and bassist Mike Watt...Along with guitarist Ed Crawford, they were pretty damn impressive and tight in their own right, even if they never quite lived up to the Minutemen's high standards, or even the Meat Puppets...The night of the Shank Hall show, Watt was rocking his Fidel Castro look, with the beard and fatigues and fat ol' cigar sticking out of his word hole...As usual, he was out on the floor, amongst the hoi polloi, shaking hands and making with the talk with all the fanboys who adored and idolized him...When it was time for Firehose to play, he walked up onstage, out of the crowd, like it was yr cousin's lame bar band...But of course, it wasn't...It was Firehose, and they jammed econo...

After their set, and sometime before the Meat Pups hit the stage, there was Watt, back out on the floor, now with a towel hanging around his neck, there to witness the incredible desert weirdness that were the Meat Puppets with the rest of us afficianados...

And of course it was a brilliant and beautiful show...Bassist Cris Kirkwood hadn't yet fully fucked himself up on heroin and crack, and so he was locked in sooo fucking tight with not only drummer Derrick Bostrom, but his brother, guitarist Curt Kirkwood...Together, the three of them laid down their intricate brand of progressive cowpunk jazz, and on that night, there was no way I could ever envy Mr. Schill seeing Cream...

The simple fact of the matter is that Curt Kirkwood is one of the very finest guitarists in rock'n'roll history, a fact that is sadly unknown by too many people...Oh sure, his singing is a bit suspect, an acquired taste perhaps, but his playing and songwriting is undeniable...

Yeah, there is greatness in every generation of rock'n'roll, and some of it rises to the top for everyone to enjoy, and some of it just kinda floats there, in the middle of the pop culture landscape...Curt Kirkwood's greatness and reknown will never rise to the top, like Jimi Hendrix or Eddie Van Halen, but he'll never fully sink into obscurity either, and in the end, that's not so bad, I suppose...

But who's out there now? What genius guitar player is turning on the kids today?

I guess I'm partial to Marnie Stern, myself, but I fear she'll go the way of Sylvia Juncosa...

Anybody remember Sylvia Juncosa?

She wasn't pure greatness by any stretch of the imagination, but she had the balls to name a tune "Lick My Pussy, Eddie Van Halen" and then have enough chops on the guitar to actually back it up...

Almost...I mean, we're talking about Van Halen here, you know?

Anyways, time's a bitch, but we've always got nostalgia...

Hotcha! Hank

Beasties Maneuver Sideways

First of all, you might want to turn down the volume on this particular video...And then turn it the fuck back up, because this is a pretty sweet SNL performance by Elvis Costello doing "Radio Radio" with the Beastie Boys as his backing band...

Now, I've very rarely had anything good to say about the Beastie Boys, and my generally ambivalence towards them has directly figured into two break-ups, so let me just say that this is the single greatest thing they have ever done, and will ever do, and leave it at that...

Also, it's too bad the song gets cut off at the end, but a shortened couple minutes of rock solid Elvis Costello is better than a different two minutes of something else...

Hotcha! Hank

Sideways Fidelity Maneuver

In regards to his performance in this particular promo video for "High Fidelity", I can only wonder if Elvis Costello's dancing and general stage presence was taking the piss outta the first Elvis, or if it's simply and sincerely laughable.

Either way, I would like to note that I have and wear the exact same pair of glasses as Elvis does in this era, and have worn these glasses for about 15 years, and yes, I was inspired to wear them because of Mr. Costello.

And that's some HOT POOP you really can't use for anything, can you?

Hotcha! Hank

Scorpio Babers!

I mentioned Scorpio Babers in my previous post regarding the Winona Rough Ryders fantasy football draft, and his name is so damn fine that I thought the man deserved his own post, especially because the odds are against Scorpio making the final Packers roster, which must be cut down by 20 players by the end of this week...He's looked pretty good so far this pre-season, but the Packers are pretty deep at cornerback...You would think his name alone would guarantee him a spot on the team...

Scorpio Babers!

Hotcha! Hank

Blood Makes The Grass Grow

It's that time of year, babycakes!

The 2008 NFL season begins next week, so of course that means Fantasy Football is back in full swing, and that means it's the return of everyone's favorite FF franchise, the beloved Winona Rough Ryders...

Man, it seems like it was just seven months ago that the Rough Ryders took second place in the APFL...

Which reminds me - the league has been renamed this year to the Fantasy Inner Circle League, or the FICL, and yeah, there's a part of me that thinks Wino is being fickle with this league re-christening, but he's a good commissioner, and our beloved Rough Ryders are going to win it all this year no matter what the league is called...

So, as you can see from the graphic above, the FICL had our draft on Monday night, and that would be this year's Winona Rough Ryders! All in all, I was quite happy with my draft this year, although in hindsight I do have to second guess myself a couple times...

Eighth pick in the draft, and going into it, I had seriously considered grabbing QB Tom Brady or WR Randy Moss with a later pick like mine, but both of those players got nabbed right in front of me, so that decision was essentially made for me...Conventional wisdom is to draft an RB in the first round, and with Brady and Moss off the table, Frank Gore was my highest pre-ranked RB, so I grabbed him...My thinking that he'll become a formidable and prolific receiving RB in Mike Martz's new offensive scheme in San Francisco, making him a fantasy stud...

It was a tough draft this year in terms of RB...There are a few that are still young and unproven (Adrian Peterson, Ryan Grant, Marshawn Lynch), and there are even more that are starting to age, losing a step or two, being more prone to injury (LT, Steven Jackson, Brian Westbrook, Rudi Johnson, Jamal Lewis)...

And then there are the rookies...I drafted the two best rookie RB prospects this year, and it's one of those gambits that will either blow up in my face, or make me look like a fucking genius and wish the FICL was a keeper league...Darren McFadden finds himself one of four potential starters out in Oakland, though I suspect he'll rise to the top of the depth chart by mid-season, so grabbing him in the fourth round as my 2nd RB looks fairly foolish in hindsight...At the moment, anyways...

Meanwhile, rookie RB Jonathan Stewart is running like an All-Pro this pre-season down in Carolina...The problem there is, DeAngelo Williams (a back I've drafted and championed the past two seasons) is running like an All-Pro as well...Having said that, I was able to draft the first (or second) best rookie RB prospect in the eleventh round, which is fucking sweet no matter how ya look at it...Even considering that I took McFadden in the fourth...(Why?)

Anyways, I did the conventional thing and took Gore with my first pick, and my strategy has always been to grab WRs with the next two picks, which I obviously did...Terrell Owens was a great pick for me, I believe, and there's really nothing else to say about it...Barring injury, he may very well be my leading fantasy scorer this season...

In the third round, I grabbed WR Marques Colston of the New Orleans Saints...He was the ninth WR drafted, and in a rare stroke of insight, I had him pencilled-in as my #3 pick in the days leading up to the draft...And here he is, a proud Winona Rough Ryder! I expect a huge year from the young man...

I usually grab my QB within the first three rounds, but this year I waited until the fifth round, and ended up taking Ben Roethlisberger...As a die-hard Steeler fan, it was an easy choice, perhaps too easy, because in reality, the Steeler's O-line is a porous mess, and the receiving corp, quite honestly, could be better....Hines Ward is a fucking champ, but he is getting old, there's no denying that...With rookie Mendenhall joining Willie Parker in the backfield, the Steelers might be content to just grind it out on the ground this year...

It might not matter, because looking at my team right now, I think I'm going to be starting my other QB, Jay Cutler of the Denver Broncos...He's young, he's smart, and he's got promising receivers, including my 2nd TE, Tony Scheffler, who might also end up starting for me instead of Owen Daniels...

Usually, I draft my starting TE within the first five rounds, but this year I ended up waiting until the seventh round to grab Owen Daniels of Houston...In Round 5 of our draft, both Antonio Gates and Jason Witten were grabbed ahead of my pick, and frankly, those were the only two TEs I considered good enough to take that early, so when they were gone, my decision was once again made for me...I briefly considered grabbing Tony Gonzalez with that 5th pick, but he's now the oldest active TE in the NFL, and he's playing for a KC offense that may very well be a mess this year...He served me well last year, but that was last year...

So I grabbed another WR with my fifth pick, Greg Jennings of my own beloved Green Bay Packers...It may have been a risky pick considering that Aaron Rodgers is now the Packers' QB, but Jennings has proven to me that he's got the potential to be a truly elite NFL receiver, and if nothing else, he's the best Packer receiver, and wouldn't ya know it, he grabbed a 60 yard TD pass on the first drive of tonight's pre-season game against the Titans...

Yeah, add Anthony Gonzalez, my 10th pick, into the mix, and I believe I've got a dynamite receiving situation this year...TE and QB, maybe not so much, but ya can't always have it all...

Elsewhere...

New York Jets' RB Thomas Jones in the 8th round? It was absurd when I saw he was still available with the 73rd pick, and it's absurd even now...With Brett Favre at QB in NYC, and future Hall-Of-Fame guard Alan Faneca on their line this year, Thomas Jones could bounce back and have a stellar season...Could...And if he does, I don't see any reason why our beloved Rough Ryders won't be charging hard towards the FICL title...

In Pittsburgh and Jacksonville I have two of the best six defensive units in the NFL...Plus, as I've mentioned many times before, the Steelers are my second most beloved NFL team after the Packers...Having said that, Jacksonville might very well win out in the long run...It will likely come down to which team faces the most inept offense each weekend, and the Jaguars definitely have a much easier schedule than the Steelers do...

I definitely wanted Packer LB Nick Barnett on my team again this year, although taking him in the 12th round was silliness...He would have lasted until near the end, I reckon...

Patriot K Stephen Gostkowski was shockingly available for my 13th pick...I always draft my K in the 13th round, but I still can't believe Gostkowski, potentially the most valuable kicker in the NFL, was the eighth kicker taken when I grabbed him with my #13...Plus, he's a fellow Polack...I like most Polacks...

Marcus Trufant led the NFL in interceptions last season, if I'm not mistaken...Atari Bigby is a Green Bay Packer, he plays a bit recklessly, and has my favorite name in the NFL, although if fellow Packer DB, Scorpio Babers makes the team, I may have to rethink it...In any event, I've got a solid DB tandem...

I've also got a decent DL tandem as well...James Harrison of the Steelers, and Brian Posluszny of the Bills...Another tough Polack...

And that's about it...A blathering rundown of our beloved Winona Rough Ryders...Stay tuned to HOT POOP for weekly recaps...

HINES WARD!

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 26 August 2008

MEAL: 1 Large order of Chicken Chow Mein = $6.35 + $1.65 tip

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 81

Elvis Costello & The Attractions: Trust: "Strict Time" [mp3]

S0 here's what's gonna happen, circa 2012 or 2013...

Imperial Bedrooms, Bret Easton Ellis' sequel to his 1985 debut novel, Less Than Zero, is gonna be made into a movie, starring the same cast as the film adaptation of his debut, because his new book, slated for release in 2010, follows the same characters from Less Than Zero as they hit middle age...That means the film version of Imperial Bedrooms is gonna star Robert Downey Jr., James Spader, Jami Gertz, and Andrew McCarthy, which is a pretty outstanding cast, a rock solid representation of Gen X, each of them 1980's film icons in their own way...

Back in 1987, when Less Than Zero was released, Andrew McCarthy and Robert Downey, Jr., had both starred opposite Molly Ringwald, McCarthy in Pretty In Pink, RDJ in The Pick-Up Artist, and if that title sounds like some arbritrary film that you never would have guessed starred RDJ and Molly, that might help explain why Mr. McCarthy played the film's male lead, the protagonist and narrator, Clay...

On the other hand, RDJ got to play Julian, a fucked-up young man who had a story with plenty of meat...Plenty of ham, as it were, and Downey carved it up all over the place, as I recall...Although I must admit, I haven't seen the film in probably 15 years...

Now, considering that Andrew McCarthy is currently co-starring in the middling, nearly cancelled NBC dramady, Lipstick Jungle, and Robert Downey Jr. is now and forever officially fucking Iron Man, not to mention a dude, playing a dude, disguised as another dude in Tropic Thunder, I believe it's safe to say that Imperial Bedrooms will be Downey's chance to chew his way through the film on his way to an Oscar nomination...

And who knows what Ellis is going to do with the Julian character. Will Downey get to fatten himself up to play a middle-aged booze-bloated barfly, somewhere in downtown L.A? Shades of a Bukowski character, shades of Bukowski himself...Or will Julian keep to the harder stuff, the coke and heroin that forced him into prostitution and worse? Could a man, even a fictional man, somehow survive 20+ years of those addictions? Well, it would be an opportunity for RDJ to lose 50 pounds in his quest for Awards...

Anyways...

In the novel, Less Than Zero, Clay has a huge poster of Elvis Costello's Trust album cover on his bedroom wall, and Ellis occasionally writes about the poster, the image, and what it means to Clay, and what it means in ways Clay never even considers...

Elvis Costello is peering over his rose-colored glasses, upwards towards someone or something bigger than himself...If he trusted this person, this thing, I suppose he'd be looking directly through those glasses, because where there is trust, there is a belief that all is good and lovely and rosy and true between Elvis and this other...

But no, he's looking past that rose-colored fiction, all that blind faith and happy denial, he's looking directly into the hard light of truth...He's looking directly at that other, no matter how risky, how potentially painful and crushing it might be...

In the story, Clay comes home to L.A. for winter break from college in New Hampshire, and at first he's happy to see his old friend Julian, but over the course of the next month, he starts seeing the real Julian, and not even the bonds of their deep and long friendship is enough to keep Clay blind and in denial...At the end of the winter break, at the end of the novel, Clay goes back to school on the other side of the country, vowing to never come back...

Continuing to trust Julian would have fucked up Clay's own life sooner or later, would have grabbed and pulled Clay down into the same muck Julian was stuck in...And trusting his girlfriend, Blair, proved to be another big mistake...

Trust...Raised eyebrows and the uncertain smile of someone who is daring to look at the cold, hard truth for the very first time, and maybe trust himself, at least at this time, and for awhile...

Within the story that is Less Than Zero, Elvis is peering over the foggy notions of those tinted glasses, and he's looking directly at Clay from the bedroom wall, challenging Clay to trust himself enough to leave hopeless Julian to an unknown future, and leave Blair because, well, the girl just can't be trusted, you know? Leave behind all the "sex as a weapon" bullshit and all the drugs to treat the wounds of betrayal...

Blather...

The Trust album came out in 1981, and for all I know, Clay's winter break in Less Than Zero happens in 1981...and this is #81 in our ongoing series, Something 4 The Weekend...

And sometimes that's the way I do it, you know? Sinistral mathematics...

There's a hand on a wire that leads to my mouth...
I can hear you knocking but I'm not coming out...
Don't want to be a puppet or a ventriloquist...
'Cause there's no ventilation on a critical list...
Fingers creeping up my spine are not mine to resist...
Strict time...

Toughen up, toughen up...
Keep your lip buttoned up...
Strict time...

Oh the muscles flex and the fingers curl...
And a cold sweat breaks out on the sweater girl...
Strict time...
Oh he's all hands, don't touch that dial...
The courting cold wars weekend witch trial...
Strict time...
All the boys are straight laced and the girls are frigid...
The talk is two-faced and the rules are rigid...
'cause it's strict time...
Strict time...

Toughen up, toughen up...
keep your lip buttoned up...
Strict time...

You talk in hushed tones, I talk in lush tones...
Try to look Italian through the musical Valium...
Strict time...
Thinking of grand larceny...
Smoking the everlasting cigarette of chastity...
Cute assistants staying alive...
More like a hand job than the hand jive...
Strict time...

Toughen up, toughen up...
Keep your lip buttoned up...
Strict Time...

"Strict Time": Elvis Costello & The Attractions

Hotcha! Hank

Walk On By This Sideways Maneuver

Mmmm, hot-buttered television goodness courtesy of some show called Music Scene circa 1969...This is the legendary Isaac Hayes, doing a broadcast-friendly version of Burt Bacharach's & Hal David's "Walk On By", a damn smooth and mournful tune that Dionne Warwick already struck gold with...

Black Moses just made the sad a whole lot sexier...Can ya dig it?

Hotcha! Hank

Speaking Of Primates (Who Speak)...

Hotcha! Hank

Covering Covers # 6

You betcha, this album cover is a damn mystery to me...

So many questions...

Why the hell would the baboon take a bite out of a book before tasting the cake? Even a baboon isn't that stupid. They may be omnivores, but hardcovers, or even trade paperbacks, never figured into their diets. Not even Olive Baboons, and they'll eat just about anything.

And why is the baboon crying? Does the cake taste nasty? Maybe the book actually tastes better than the cake. That would probably make me cry, and I'm a higher primate.

And I might be wrong, but it sure does look like the eyes, and the area around the eyes, are human. They certainly don't have the same color as the rest of the baboon's face. What's that all about, or am I just imagining things?

But back to the crying...Do baboons actually shed tears?

The best I can figure is that by eating the book, the baboon is feeding on knowledge, kinda like Adam and Eve and the apple in Eden, plucked from The Tree Of Knowledge Of Good and Evil, and this loss of innocence, well, it makes the monkey cry...It's his party, after all, he can if he wants to.

And what's better than cake when one is sad? What's better than some baked goods when we realize we've sealed our fate by giving up everlasting life? A seemingly melting cake, although it isn't raining, and that ain't MacArthur Park.

Which begs another question, and don't ask me why I think this is important enough to ask, but - What body of water is that? Is it the Atlantic Ocean? Indian Ocean? Lake Chad?

Are there baboons in Chad?

So many questions, but perhaps the most important of all - How does this surreal, seemingly religious, but possibly nonsensical painting reflect and/or represent this 1973 Fleetwood Mac album, Mystery To Me?

This was the Bob Welch era (1971-1974), whom I believe was the first non-Brit in the band. He was/is a southern California showbiz kid who wrote fairly glossy rock songs and lyrics about mystical love and other decidedly southern Californian mumbo jumbo. This wasn't the original Fleetwood Mac, ye olde British Blues band fronted by Peter Green.

How does a baboon eating books and desserts reflect Bob Welch's suave Southern California, radio-ready rock style? I suppose, if we agree this album cover is all some sort of metaphor for innocence and experience, the knowledge of good and evil, well then, isn't LOVE and even SEX all about such things?

Mystery solved!!

But it's still a ridiculous album cover.

Hotcha! Hank

Bernie Mac Maneuvers Sideways

Bernie Mac died from complications of pneumonia almost two weeks ago now, and I feel a little bad that I haven't acknowledged it until now. I love The Bernie Mac Show, his former sitcom that grew directly out of the situation he discusses in this YouTube clip, a segment from his appearance on The Kings Of Comedy.

(Yeah, it's a shame about the "faggot" stuff, but I would say it's an honest reflection of the prevailing attitudes towards homosexuality in the black community, and perhaps Bernie playing to his audience as much as any homophobia he might himself possess. Having said that, it's still not an excuse.)

I love The Bernie Mac Show because while it captures the gruff bluster that could be Bernie Mac, it was a show that also expressed a ton of heart, compassion, and how family, no matter how seemingly dysfunctional, can also be a great source of strength, pride, and love. This may be a somewhat common tone in network sitcom land, but it's typically handled in one of two ways - either incredibly maudlin and saccharine, or overtly cynical for easy laughs. It's difficult to explain, but The Bernie Mac Show somehow balanced these two approaches quite deftly. Bernie Mac's put-upon rage was real, but so was his love for his wife and his sister's three kids, whom he adopted in real life, and on the show.

Bernie Mac was a truth-teller, and he talked about some uncomfortable things, especially in his stand-up act. What's most impressive to me was that he was a man with a certain amount of humility, in that he never shied away from speaking truth about his own shortcomings. He willingly played the clown and the bully, "Bigfoot" as one of his nieces called him, because that was exactly the man he sometimes was. The man was self-aware in a large, large way, and he was more than willing to let us laugh at his shortcomings, as long as we were also willing to appreciate the big heart that beat deep inside.

It's no mistake that The Bernie Mac Show won a Peabody, in addition to a slew of other awards that transcend mere popularity.

Plus, the man, and the show, was infectiously funny, and endearing. You almost can't help but love him. He was one of a kind.

One of the Kings Of Comedy is dead. Long live the king.

Rest in peace, Bernie Mac. You left us way, way too soon.

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 19 August 2008

MEAL: 1 order of (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order of Sweet & Sour Chicken = $8.35 + $1.65 tip

Hotcha! Hank

The Day I Lost My Faith In Man

I can't pinpoint the date, except to say that the events of this story happened on a bright summer afternoon in 1993 or 1994...

I was pumping gas in Cedarburg, WI, and happened to be wearing the Kill Your Idols t-shirt you see above. A minute or two after I had started, a mini-van pulled up on the other side of the pump with a WELS bumpersticker on the back bumper. For those of you unaware, WELS stands for Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod.

A middle-aged man got out of the van, and as he grabbed his pump nozzle, noticed my t-shirt and gave me a rather dirty look, which wasn't a new experience for me, as this shirt has certainly drawn plenty of dirty looks over the years. I figured his glare would be the end of it, but of course, it wasn't.

I finished pumping, and went into the station to pay for my gas, and as I was walking out and back to my car, I was about to pass the WELS man on his way in to pay, when out of nowhere, he SPIT on my shirt, managing to also get some of his spittle on my face.

I fought hard against the anger that was welling up inside of me, and instead of beating the shit out of the man, which was my first inclination, I flashed him the peace sign and simply said, "Jesus loves you, and God forgives you."

This obviously pissed off the man to no end, because he shouted back at me, "Fuck you, what do you know about God?"

It was a good question, I must admit. What did I know about God? What do any of us know?

I grabbed one of those blue paper towels from the window washing station next to the pump, and wiped the spit from my shirt and face, got into my car, and drove away, thinking...

Many of my thoughts were trite, but then, many/most of my thoughts are trite...

I thought, who we are and who we think we are are usually two entirely different things. This Christian man acted extremely non-Christian that afternoon, while I, the agnostic struggling with my own faith (as I still am) quickly decided to quell my animal instincts and simply turn the other cheek with a sarcastic comment meant to point out his inappropriate reaction to a fucking t-shirt. A point I doubt he even comprehended. If I had beat the man down, right there amongst the gas pumps, he may have actually understood THAT.

As I drove, I thought, a Christian who cannot endure the slings and arrows directed at his/her religion and God surely cannot have much faith in that religion and God. This is an idea which remains strong and true in my thinking to this day, some fifteen years later. In general, Christians in America, over the past couple of decades, have exerted their influence on our politics and culture moreso than ever in our nation's past, and yet they constantly portray themselves, their religion and their God, as victims of a secular society rife with sin and evil. To me, this is undeniable proof of a distinct lack of faith. In regards to this particular story of mine, I have to say that a strong faith in a strong God should and would certainly be able to withstand a harmless t-shirt.

I titled this post The Day I Lost My Faith In Man because I believe it was on this sunny summer afternoon that whatever misgivings I had about humans and their general behaviour suddenly became quite clear and real in my thinking. There are simply alot, too many, weak and irrational people in this world. People who are hypocritical. People who are incapable of nuanced and reasonable thought. People who are incapable of empathy, or even sympathy, because they are too full of themselves. People who would push others down rather than lift themselves up.

And that includes myself, because I am a human, after all.

Of course, these are all generalizations, because there are plenty of genuinely good and humane people in this world. The problem is, from my perspective, that as I get older, I seem to meet and know less and less of these kinds of people. In general, I assume the worst in people, and I cannot help but consider myself a misanthrope, no matter how much I dare and dream myself not to be. This makes me no better than the WELS man who spit on me that afternoon, and yes, I realize the hypocrisy of this very blathering post of mine.

But what of the t-shirt itself? Why did I choose to wear it? In it's way, it is a confrontational idea, and like I said, it certainly garnered plenty of dirty looks over the years. To me, it represents some of the ideas I touched upon in this post - the very notion that too many people are incapable of recognizing their own hypocrisy. The idea that we too often destroy the very things and people we profess to love.

But ultimately, the idea that religion clouds out rational thought, and oftentimes leads otherwise good people to do very bad things. In the end, I believe the message of the shirt is that we are better served as individuals and as societies, when we eliminate organized religion from our lives, and meet and treat others from a more purely human and humanistic perspective. This does not mean that we shouldn't embrace God, or any sort of spirituality, if we so choose, but rather that we are fully capable of leading ethical and morally sound lives without religion, or even God.

Of course, as a self-professed misanthrope, I have my doubts.

But mostly, I bought and wear that shirt because it alludes to Sonic Youth's Kill Yr Idols EP.

I am a simple man.

Hotcha! Hank

A Word With Moshammer's Ghost

kumquat

Function: noun

Etymology: Chinese (Guangdong) gām-gwāt, from gām gold + gwāt citrus fruit

Date: 1699

1: any of several small yellow to orange citrus fruits with sweet spongy rind and somewhat acid pulp that are used chiefly for preserves ; also : a tree or shrub (genus Fortunella) of the rue family that bears kumquats

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 80

Isaac Hayes: Hot Buttered Soul: "Hyperbolicsyllabicsesquedalymistic" [mp3]

I must admit, Isaac Hayes never meant much to me personally. I understand and respect what he brought to popular music, but his music was never quite my taste, as far as Soul or Funk goes...Stevie Wonder was, and will always be, the gold standard in my own mind...

But Isaac Hayes contributions cannot be underestimated. He was a huge creative force behind the scenes at Stax Records, truly one of the greatest labels and rosters in the annals of popular music. As songwriter, arranger, and session player, Hayes seemingly had a hand in all of Stax's output throughout the 1960's, most notably as songwriter of such classics as "Soul Man", "Hold On, I'm Coming", "I Thank You" (Sam & Dave), and "Your Good Thing Is About To End" (Lou Rawls). Personally, I think his greatest contribution to pop music (Soul-Funk in particular), was the innovations he made in terms of composition and arrangement. For example, his Hot Buttered Soul LP featured a 12 minute version of "Walk On By", and a 19 minute version of "By The Time I Get To Phoenix", two formerly radio-friendly pop songs that ran the typical 3 minutes, but in Hayes hands, became epic in scope and interpretation, becoming outright gospel in their fervor and focus...

Now, it may sound crass, but my favorite Isaac Hayes tune is "Chocolate Salty Balls" from South Park. If nothing else, it brings back memories of the early years of the Sonic Foundry warehouse, when we would blast the Chef Aid soundtrack, and whenever that song came on, we all would stop what we were doing, and start dancing and singing along...Those days are long gone now, as everything else in this life, we all keep moving along, until we don't.

Rest In Peace, Isaac Hayes.

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 12 August 2008

MEAL: 1 order (8) crab rangoon + 1 order (8) Steamed Dumplings = $8.75 + $1.25 tip

Hotcha! Hank

Maneuver Louisiana 1927 Sideways

A good song is a good song is a good song...

In this case, "Louisiana 1927", a Randy Newman song about the flooding of the Mississippi River in 1927 that left hundreds of thousands of people homeless in Louisiana and Mississippi...Written by Newman way back around 1973, in the wake of Hurricane Katrina, the song has pretty much become an official elegy for the city of New Orleans...

It's a damn fine song. Whether sung by Newman himself in the middle of the day at a Jazz Fest in Stuttgart, or Marcia Ball late at night at a Katrina Benefit gig in New Orleans, or some dude who calls himself GflatMinor playing it on guitar in front of the fireplace in his poorly-lit living room.

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 79

Randy Newman: Harps and Angels: "A Few Words In Defense Of Our Country" [mp3]

I've been completely in Randy Newman's corner since I first heard "Short People" in 1977...It's not so much that I loved the song, although I kinda did, but I loved the backlash to the song...It was sad and funny that so many people, plenty of them not very short at all, didn't get Newman's point, as simple as it was - that discriminating and hating people just because they're short is silly and stupid because nobody can control their height...So isn't just about any sort of discrimination, prejudice and hatred just as silly and stupid?

Like I said, a very simple notion, and yet so many apparently very simple people just didn't get it, or at least didn't like the way the idea was presented to them...

So, yeah, I've been in Randy Newman's camp ever since, and there are only two kinds of people in this world - those who like/love Randy Newman, and those who don't...There seems to be no middle ground with him, and as the cliche goes, that must mean he's doing something right...

My approach to his music is that he's essentially a different kind of Tom Waits.

Both emerged from the 1960's L.A. music scene, and somehow that's important.

Both tend to write lyrics from the perspective of characters, rather than themselves, and those lyrics, whether they're Waits' hardscrabble poetry, or Newman's dry satire, are steeped in Americana. In Waits, especially, it almost becomes mythological, or like a secret history of the United States...And even though Randy Newman's words can bite rather hard at the follies of mankind, you can still sense that he loves this country and the people in it. Mark Twain is another good name to drop right here, I suppose...

Likewise, both write music that is wholly American. Waits has worked his own strange magic on plenty of American musical styles over his long career - Blues, Hollers, Dixieland, Ragtime, Gospel, Country-Western, Jazz, Cocktail Jazz, R'n'B, Rock'n'Roll. Randy Newman has worked alot of those same styles as well, usually through a piano and perhaps some strings, and so there's a certain refinement to his sound, which is appropriate for the gentle sting of his lyrics.

Anyways, Randy Newman has just released a new album, Harps And Angels, and after a couple of listens so far, it's certainly shaping up to be one of the better albums in his solid discography, I'd say...I was immediately intrigued by the title of this week's S4TW song, "A Few Words In Defense Of Our Country", if only because political songs seem few and far between at a time when we actually need 'em, and here's ol' Randy to the rescue...

America, as some sort of genial old empire, settling...

Settling and slowly drifting away...

Goodbye.

Goodbye.


Goodbye.



Hotcha! Hank

EVERYTHINGATHON! August 2008!

http://www.everythingathon.com/home.htm

Consider this month's EVERYTHINGATHON! podcast to be an audio reconstruction of an old dream of mine, numbered 151 in an old dream journal of mine, itself "Number Four In A High Performance Series", circa 1993...

What we've got here is a solid hour of extreme Foleyism, sound FX galore, time travel, space travel, a seemingly endless series of red doors, brown bears, black bears, polar bears, a nameless baby, Ross Brodie, Adlai Stevenson, Jazz, a blowjob, podbot narrator Trevor Hastings 19.9...and much, much more...

Available RIGHT NOW, and until Monday, September 1st, so why don't ya visit EVERYTHINGATHON!, have a look around, and stream or possibly even download this month's podcast while there's still time...

Hotcha! Hank

Black President Maneuver

I couldn't find any George Akaeze videos on YouTube, a rare misfire, but of course they've got a whole lotta Fela Kuti, straight outta 1985 in this particular lumpen...The self-proclaimed Black President of Nigeria, and here we are...

Are enough of us ready for a black American president? It would be a giant step for our nation, but not our last, getting past our biggest sin, the slave trade...

Race and ethnicity aside, is a man as relatively young and unseasoned as Barack Obama ready to lead us through these dark and story times? Or do these times call for a dynamic leader from his generation, the next generation...Post-Boomer...

Born in 1961, Barack Obama might be considered a Gen-Xer, but he's on the very front edge of that generation, MY generation...What's important is that he's clearly not a Baby Boomer like Bill Clinton and George W. Bush, and that's the biggest reason I'm voting Obama in 2008...

John McCain is going to be 72 years old at the end of this month, which means he's PRE-Boomer...

Race and ethnicity and gender and political parties aside, it's simply time we make a move towards the future...It's time for Generation X to run things for the next couple decades, to see what we can accomplish, and there's certainly plenty of serious shit to keep us occupied...

Does Barack Obama have what it takes? I think he's worth 4 years of our time and our trust...

And speaking one last time about generations, I certainly urge the Millenials, the so-called "Echo-Boomers", the eldest of whom are coming of age right now, to vote for Obama as well...

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 05 August 2008

MEAL: 1 order Fried Crispy Bean Curd + 1 small order Boneless Spare Ribs = $7.75 + $1.25 tip

Hotcha! Hank

To That Deluxe Bunker In The Ground

If you thought you knew everything about Adolf Hitler, think again. History has been re-written, babycakes. Thanks, WOW Report...

Hotcha! Hank

Thus Spake...

Thus spoke the devil to me once: “God too has his hell: that is his love of man.” - Nietzsche

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 78

George Akaeze & His Augmented Hits: Nigeria Special: "Business Before Pleasure" [mp3]

Why is it that men are the grillers 99% of the time? Is it because Madison Avenue and Hollywood have traditionally portrayed men as the grillers in the family? Of course, that then begs the question - Did advertisers and screenwriters come upon this idea independently, or was it an honest reflection of what has simply always been true? Which came first?

Has it always been true, in American history, anyways, that men have traditionally been the grillers when families took their cooking outdoors? In my own family it was my dad who manned the grill almost exclusively in our backyard, nevermind the fact that he never cooked a meal in our kitchen. And it even went as far as our family camping trips - when we cooked inside the camper, my mom did the cooking, but when we grilled outside the camper, or on the campfire, it was my dad who handled things...Among my friends, the same was true, and even today, as adults, it is always the boyfriend or husband who handles the grilling duties at parties and whatnot...

So, if this phenomenon is not borne of pop culture influence, but has always been essentially true, why has it been true? The easiest answer, of course, is that anything pertaining to the outdoors has traditionally been a male thing - hunting, herding, camping - and so in modern suburbia, where the backyard is often the closest many people get to "outdoor living", a man on the grill is still the rule.

So, there's today's dose of trite blather.

Hotcha! Hank

Flat Sideways Atom Maneuver

Flat Atom is a Madison-based Industrial/Heavy Groove band with whom I happen to be good friends. In fact, for a while I was their official band photographer, specializing in unintentially blurry, impressionistic photos more suited to LSD trips than actually helping the band's image and marketing...I also may, or may not be, the very first "Friend Of Flat Atom". Memories get blurry after 7 years of band history, you know?

Anyways, these guys are supercool, put on a dynamite live show, and write some rock solid tunes...Like I mentioned, they've been working Madison and the greater midwest for seven years (their first gig was at The Annex the night after 9-11), building a consistently bigger and more loyal fanbase, through any number of lineup changes...

However, the present and future of the band is currently unknown...

They've kinda broken up, but Thump and Nick, the two prime movers of the group, the two guys who ARE Flat Atom, are still working together, and since they're exploring a slightly different sound than before, they're undecided on whether to keep the name FLAT ATOM, or slap a new moniker on their new direction...Thump believes they ought to keep the Flat Atom name, if only because they've built up that fan base and reputation with that name, but Nick thinks they ought to give the new project/direction a new name. At the moment, I'm siding with Nick, not that it matters, but I guess it all depends on how different this new direction actually is...

All I know is that I was at a jam session at their studio a couple weeks ago, and the new guitarist they're working with is a Marc Bolan fanatic, and the new tune I've heard is decidedly more mainstream rock/boogie than the industrial grooves they've done in the past. In fact, in hindsight, the song reminded it alot of the Red Hot Chili Peppers - heavy funk bottom, some Hendrixy guitar maneuvers, and a rather hooky chorus, which has always been Nick's and Thump's strongest songwriting element in my opinion...

Anyways, time will tell how and where this all goes...

Hotcha! Hank