ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Two

Jay "Fucking Cuts" Cutler!!!

Cuts Cutler!!

76.60 FP!!!!!

Alright, enough exclamations...Not so much color...

The dude lit it up at home against the supposedly vaunted San Diego Chargers defense, and he got some super fucking help from referee Ed Hochuli, who fucked up a crucial call late in the 4th quarter when Cuts fumbled...Cuts went on to throw a touchdown, and then throw another for a 2 point conversion, and the Broncos surprised and sickened the Chargers...So big ups to Ed Hochuli, for fucking up the call in favor of our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, but more importantly, because he manned up and admitted the mistake...He's a great and solid NFL referee, and while some sort of penalty might be called for, we all gotta forgive and forget...Well, all of us except the Chargers and their fans...

So, Jay Fucking Cuts Cutler made all the difference this week, making our victory over the formidable and historic NestOfDeath much more impressive than it actually looks...

I gotta note, on NestOfDeath's side, Anquan Boldin lit it up in the Arizona desert for 38 FP, and you certainly don't remember, but I do...I remember how Fucking Anquan lit it up for 41.2 FP in last year's championship game, which was a huge reason why I lost that game to Just Another Team...Oh, I remember, I've got the TAG to prove it...I've got the silver trophy, Thee Fractioneer's got the gold...Bitterness? Oh yeah...I see anything Arizona-related on the opponent's team, and I get a bit pissed and a little nervous...One of these years, before it's too late, I oughta draft Larry Fitzgerald or Anquan Boldin...

Fuckin' Anquan!

Otherwise, everyone on the offensive side of our beloved ROUGH RYDERS exceeded the projections of the shady Yahoo! oracles...

TE notes...While I pulled a genius move by starting Jay Cuts Cutler this week and from now on (15th round pick, bitches!), I pulled a potential boner by cutting Cuts' best friend and TE Tony Scheffler, and picking up Chris Cooley off the free agency meat market...

Speaking of Chris Cooley and meat, did you see that pic of the tip of his sausage that he mistakenly posted on his blog? Well, here it is anyway... Since I gave up on Ocho-Cinco this year, I guess Chris Cooley's sausage will have to do in terms of unexpected hijinx...On the other hand, I find this image much more disturbing...

The jokes just kinda write themselves...I'm gonna leave 'em alone...

Anyways, on the defensive side of things, there were some disappointments...Nick Barnett was quiet all afternoon against Detroit, racking up a pathetic 1.5 FP, but in a cunning move, NestOfDeath had picked up the Packers' other LB, AJ Hawk, and he had a damn fine game...

Atari Bigby fucked something up during the game, although the Packers are saying it was "cramping"...Either way, he had one sad, sad tackle before leaving the game...Sadly, I may be dropping him next week, although the cunning NestOfDeath has just picked up Packers cornerback Charles Woodson, who I had been eyeing...

Elsewhere, Marcus Trufant broke a bone in his hand in practice yesterday, James Harrison came crashing back to earth and mediocrity, and James Farrior fucked up his back in Sunday's win over the Cleveland Browns, and is listed as probably next week...On the bright side, he did give the finger to the Cleveland fans...Decisions, decisions...

Another decision, perhaps not too difficult...Jonathan Stewart has played well and put up respectable fantasy points so far, but Oakland's Justin Fargas fucked up his groin in last Sunday's game, and it looks like Darren McFadden will get the start, if not most of the load, this coming Sunday at Buffalo, and that's potential dynamite because McFadden exploded this week for 164 yards on 21 carries, plus a touchdown, racking up 46.30 FP while sitting on my bench...

It's a damn good thing I didn't need his FP to win this week's matchup...

The beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are now 1-1...

Onward to Week Three, and a team called applesauce...

Hotcha! Hank