ROUGH RYDERS 2010: Week Three

Well, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS defeated THE HAIRY NIPPLES this week to bring our record to 2-1, but I gotta say, I'm still not entirely happy with my team's performance this week.

Namely, my running back corps have been fairly abysmal thus far this season, and in hindsight, it was likely a mistake to draft Maurice Jones-Drew, a good running back playing on a really shitty offense. Another week, another failure, although he was able to break double digits in fantasy points. Meanwhile, Brandon Jackson appears NOT to be the answer in Green Bay as Ryan Grant's replacement, and here we are in week three, and when all is said and done, this fantasy season might very well boil down to Grant's injury in week one. Losing him, and unable to find a comparable replacement, automatically takes our beloved ROUGH RYDERS from serious contenders to middle-of-the-pack also-rans. Sigh.

Elsewhere, Tony Romo played well, Donald Driver had another great game, and the Steelers' defense played huge again, but it was Anquan Boldin (Fuckin' Anquan!) who saved the day and led us to victory with a whopping 40 FP. Unbelievable.

Anyways, I'm glad we won, but I'm not exactly happy.

Forward!

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2010: Week Two

Our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS destroyed BUGMANIA in both meetings last year, so this loss must certainly taste sweet for Gregor...

I'm not bitter...Oh sure, I'm pissed at Maurice Jones-Drew, who has been useless through two weeks, but even if he had played to his stud potential, I probably still would have lost. If we were going to lose this week, it's good that MJD hopefully got this shit out of his system. 6.8 FP, and 3 of those were for tackles after turnovers. Unacceptable for the third pick in the draft.

Aside from MJD, I can only bitch about my fucking kicker, Lawrence Tynes and my DL's, Julius Peppers and Aaron Kampman. Certainly my first mistake was drafting a NY Giant named Lawrence who isn't named Taylor, and I'm gonna need to do something about that in the next week or two...Peppers is on alert as well, and I can only imagine how the Bears' front office is thinking right now, giving the dude a six-year, $91 million contract, with half of that guaranteed. For that kind of money, he oughta have six sacks already.

$45 million guaranteed for a defensive lineman. I played DE my JV year. I was pretty decent, but I wanted to be a linebacker. I wanted to be Jack Lambert. Jack Ham. Lawrence Taylor.

Now I'd want to be Clay Matthews. That dude does have six sacks already. I don't expect him to keep it up, but as a Packer fan, I'd say he's a real-deal ballhawk and all-around free-range lunatic.

Poor AJ Hawk. He was the crazy white linebacker hope of Packerland just two short years ago. He was a beloved Rough Ryder, for chrissakes! He was doing car dealership commercials and that PSA about manners that they play before every film at the theater around here. Poor AJ Hawk is seemingly dead. Long live Clay Matthews. If he shows up in a Culver's commercial, we'll know for sure that the torch has been passed.

Anyways, on the other side of the ball for the Packers (and our beloved ROUGH RYDERS) all I can say is Brandon Jackson ain't Ryan Grant, but he could be. I mean, he was poised to be the Packers' starting RB until Grant showed up from the Giants.

This week's MVP for the ROUGH RYDERS is the Pittsburgh Steelers' Defense. Not only did they hold the Titans' offense to 11 points, but they had four sacks, four fumble recoveries, three interceptions, and a kickoff return for a TD to start the game. That all adds up to a stunning 36 FP.

The beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS still lost, but I'm not bitter.

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2010: Week One

Another NFL season is upon us, babycakes, and that means another year of fantasy football!

Another year of the WINONA ROUGH RYDERS!!!!! Another year demanding CAPITULATION every single week, and hopefully destroying those foes who won't...

And this year, unlike most, began with a victory in Week One.

Rather poetically, the stud this week for our beloved ROUGH RYDERS was FUCKIN' ANQUAN, who you might remember exploded for 41.2 FP in my league's championship game in 2007 and singlehandedly cost us the TICPL crown that year to Thee Fractioneer.

But here he is in 2010, playing for us, and he had a great (not stellar) 18 FP to lead our team to a somewhat convincing victory over the BLATZ BLASTERS, a team that was flat once you got past the foamy head that is Manning and Wayne at the top of their roster...

Meanwhile, I had MATT FORTE putting up a rather beastly 41.1 FP while sitting on my bench. I opted for TERRELL OWENS in my flex spot, and he contributed a relatively meager 12.3 FP instead. Luckily I didn't need FORTE. With RYAN GRANT, my RB2 going down with a season-ending ankle injury early in the game, this week could have been disaster with or without him. Thankfully DONALD DRIVER started out this season with a BANG, adding 15 FP of his own to solid performances in the top half of my roster.

Things were a bit disappointing on the defensive side of the ball, and rest assured that ERIC WEDDLE and RAY EDWARDS have already been tossed back into free agency in exchange for (hopefully) better defensive numbers next week. I can get rather impatient with defensive players.

So say hello to OSHIOMOGHO ATOGWE, a tackling machine in St. Louis who put up great numbers for our beloved ROUGH RYDERS last year.

Say hello to AARON KAMPMAN, the ex-Packer DE/LB who now calls Jacksonville home.

Say hello to the Packer's own CLAY MATTHEWS, who had a monstrous week one game while hanging deep and unclaimed in the free agency pool.

Hello, Clay!

So here we are, the WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, 2010 edition. I had a great draft, and if I can avoid any more serious injuries like GRANT'S, I believe I've got a real solid chance of reclaiming the TICFL crown this year, which I haven't worn since 2004 when DONOVAN McNABB and MUSHIN MUHAMMAD led our team all the way to the mountaintop.

Muhsin Muhammad!

Next week we take on BUGMANIA, whom we utterly destroyed in both our meetings last season.

Here we go again...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: 3rd Place

Well, babycakes, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS won our consolation round matchup with NESTOFDEATH this weekend, finishing 3rd and bringing home the bronze for the trophy case...

All of my offensive players had good to great games, the kind of games they should have had last week...So close, and yet so far, from the gold...

Bronze? Meh...

What can I say? It was a great season, staying within one game of first place the whole season with the second highest scoring team in the league...And then last week our beloved ROUGH RYDERS simple had a bad week as a team...A perfect storm of ineptitude...One game, and it was enough to keep that gold trophy in somebody else's trophy case...

APPLESAUCE, to be exact...The very same absentee manager who beat us in week twelve, then again last week in the playoff semi-finals...APPLESAUCE is the FICL champion this year, and he doesn't even know it...

Meh...

There's always next year...I think next year DeAngelo Williams might be the guy to go for...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Playoff Semi-Finals

I don't want to write this recap, but I suppose I ought to say a little something...

You might remember that back in Week Twelve, I lost to Applesauce by .93 FP, and that I was appropriately sickened by it...Well, here we are in the FICL playoff semifinals, and I lose once again to Applesauce, although this time his victory was much more convincing.

What bothers me is that from what I can tell, Applesauce hasn't managed his team since the very early part of the season, and it's soul-crushing to lose to a team that isn't even trying...They had three starting players out with injuries, and still they beat our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS by 22 FP...Soooo frustrating.

But, to be fair, even if he had been actively managing his team, we still would have lost...

In other words, this was one of those weeks when too many of my players underperformed. It's not quite a perfect storm of suckitude, but it's close enough...

Fucking Cuts had one of his worst games of the season...

Greg Jennings had 3 lousy catches for 22 yards, and it was really only luck that one of those catches happened to be a TD...He still underperformed, like most of his Green Bay Packer teammates...Man, the Packers are good at losing games in the closing minutes...They're now officially eliminated from playoff contention...As such, all I can do now is hate on the Minnesota Vikings with all my heart...Better the Chicago Bears represent the NFC North...

Terrell Owens had another shitty game...He's had more shitty games than good ones this year, and there's no doubt that he was the biggest "bust" on my team...A smarter manager probably would have benched him at some point, if only for a week or two...My problem is that I genuinely like T.O. Oh sure, he's a bigger asshole (and less fun) than Chad Johnson (my #1 WR last year), but I still think that a great NFL receiver should be a bit of a diva, and I think T.O. is misunderstood moreso than actually being a "lockerroom cancer" as he's been called repeatedly throughout his career...Now, I tend to believe that where there's smoke, there's usually fire or a bong, but in Terrell Owens case, I just think he mistakenly says the wrong things to the wrong people at the wrong time, and yeah, I imagine he's got a bong. Anyways...Biggest bust on my team this year, and I hate to say it, he's probably too old to be a viable #1 anymore, kinda like Marvin Harrison, and possibly even Randy Moss...

The Pittsburgh Steelers' Defense had another great game in reality (they're statistically the best defense in the NFL), but in fantasy, they didn't quite deliver...While they held Baltimore's offense to only 9 points and won the game, they only had 2 sacks and 2 turnovers, and because the score was so low, didn't get the opportunity for many return yards...Thus, not as many FP as they are capable of garnering...Meanwhile Applesauce had Baltimore's Defense, and even though the Ravens lost the game, they scored 12 more FP than my Steelers' Defense, all because they had 140 more return yards...Who says the punting and kicking game isn't important? Fuck.

Tied into this, of course, are the individual performances of Troy Polamalu and James Harrison, neither of whom did very much of anything, giving me only 6 FP combined when in a normal week they would have given me 15-20 FP...

None of my other defensive players did anything either...

All told, 11 of my 15 players didn't hit their projected scores...You don't win many games that way, obviously...

The other big story, I suppose, was Frank Gore. My big, bruising #1 draft pick was out with an injury this week, the first time in the last two years he's missed a game...

Now, I actually did a fairly good job in covering for his absense...I spot started rookie Jonathan Stewart for the first time since Week Two or Three, and he held his own against his Carolina Panther teammate DeAngelo Williams, who started for Applesauce...And I pulled the trigger on recent acquisition Tashard Choice from the Dallas Cowboys. He ended up leading the Cowboys in rushing and receiving yards, and contributed a healthy 33 FP to the ROUGH RYDER cause...In the end, with Thomas "Green Moses" Jones having his typical great day, my running backs did as well as they do in any typical week...

But the bottom line is, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS fucking lost to a team with an absentee manager, and now we're relegated to playing the consolation game for 3rd place, rather than making a return trip to the Championship game, which we've done 2 of the last 3 seasons...

This could have been the year when whispers of "dynasty" started bouncing around the FICL message board, but instead, we're probably going to get our asses handed to us by NESTOFDEATH, and finish in 4th place...

Sigh. It can all go to hell so, so quickly...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Twelve

If I'm not mistaken, this is the first time our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS have lost two games in a row since 2005, and while last week's loss to NESTOFDEATH was fine with me, this week's loss to APPLESAUCE sickens me...

It's sickens me because two of his players didn't play, and he should have known they weren't playing, and even though they didn't score any points, his team still beat projections by 40 points, while our beloved ROUGH RYDERS fell 16 points short of projections, and thus, in the end, we lost by .93 fantasy points!

.93! Less than one point in a very high-scoring league...It's sickening, and would be heartbreaking if our beloved ROUGH RYDERS hadn't already secured a play-off spot...

One point was all I needed to win this week. That's one more rushing attempt by Frank Gore...He wouldn't even need to gain any yardage on the play, which he probably wouldn't have, considering how the Cowboy's defense shut him down all afternoon...But I'm not gonna bitch about Frank Gore...He's been reliable and consistently high-scoring all season, so he's allowed one bad game...I just want to point out exactly how close this loss truly is, and therefore how sickening it is...One more tackle by any of my defensive players, and I win...One more catch by Marques Colston, and I win...One more completed pass by Jay Cutler, and I win...

FUCK!

Speaking of Marques Colston - fuck you, Drew Brees...I mean, I appreciate the 70 yard TD bomb you guys connected on, but c'mon, you completed 20 passes in that blowout over the Green Bay Packers, but that 70-yarder was the only completion Colston had the entire game...Naw, fuck you, man, that's just not right...And double fuck-you for blowing out my beloved Pack...

Anyways, onward to Week Thirteen, the last week of the FICL regular season, wherein our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS take on BLACKANDBLUE, who are currently in first place with a record of 10-2. One of those losses was to us back in week four, so we'll see what happens this week. If we lose for the third straight week this weekend, we're still in 4th, and will have to go through BLACKANDBLUE to the championship...If we win, well, who fucking knows...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Eleven

Listen, I don't mind losing to NESTOFDEATH...Kae is a good FF manager, who's involved every day of the season, and trying to improve his team until the end, and I definitely respect him for that...I'd much rather lose to somebody like him than to somebody who gives up on his team after a couple weeks, doesn't make any personnel moves, and still manages to pull a couple of ill-timed victories outta his ass...

It's the WAY I lost this week that's so fucking bitter...Two referee calls directly impacted my team's score, taking 16 FP away from our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, which would have been enough for a victory this week, rather than this defeat...

First, one of my DB's, Nick Collins, intercepted a pass and ran it back for a touchdown, which would have netted me 8 FP...Instead, the play was nullified by an illegal blocking penalty that not even Joe Buck and Troy Aikman could find after several replays, and which I couldn't see either...Coach McCarthy didn't throw his red flag for a review of the play (the Packers were already crushing the Bears at this late stage of the game), and in the end, no interception, no touchdown, no 8 FP for me...

Then there was the final play of the Chargers-Steelers game...I've got Pittsburgh's team defense, and after Charger's QB Philip Rivers dumped a short pass to LaDainian Tomlinson, the RB lateraled to a teammate, who tried lateraling again, only to have the ball batted away and scooped up by Steeler's safety Troy Polamalu, who ran the ball in for a touchdown as time expired...Again, this single play would have netted me another 8 FP, except that the referees flagged one of the Chargers (I'm still not sure which one) for an illegal forward pass, negating the turnover and the touchdown, and taking those sweet 8 FP off my board...Again, this was the absolute wrong call, and yesterday the NFL even issued a statement admitting that the call was wrong, and were reviewing measures to keep the mistake from happening again...Bottom line, I lost 8 invaluable FPs, which added to the other 8 FP denied me by the referees in Green Bay, makes for a convincing case that I was robbed of this monumental FICL victory by forces beyond my control - the referees of the NFL...

So yeah, I'm bitter about this week's loss, but at least I lost to a good team, a team I very well might face again in the upcoming playoffs...And that's about all I want to say about Week Eleven...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Ten

Well, well, well...It was a HUGE week for our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, who put up their highest team score of the season this past weekend on the way to a comfortable victory over SCARECROWS, who happened to beat us way back in Week One. I'd like to think that this is a sign that my team is starting to gel at just the right time, with the FICL playoffs within sight. With this victory, our beloved ROUGH RYDERS are currently in 1st place in the FICL, but next week we take on NEST OF DEATH, who have the highest average team score in the league. We beat them way back in Week Two, but things obviously change, and next week's matchup figures to be a barnburner from start to finish...Anything can happen, and usually does...But what about this past week?

It all started early, on Thursday night, with Jay "Fucking Cuts" Cutler lighting it up in Cleveland for about 450 passing yards and 3 touchdowns, good for a whopping 67.78 FP, which was only his second highest FP score of the year...Since Denver has lost about 3 dozen RB to injury so far this year, I'm counting on the Broncos offense to be 98% passing plays the rest of the season, which is nothing but golden for our beloved ROUGH RYDERS....Woot!

Meanwhile, all three of my running backs had great games, especially Thomas "Green Moses" Jones, who rushed for about 150 yards and 3 touchdowns. Finally, Mangini is using Green Moses the way Green Moses oughta be used.

Green Moses!

Frank Gore was slightly off his game, but still managed to rush for 100 yards, though he didn't find paydirt. Thankfully, I didn't need any TDs from him this week.

And my most recent free agency pickup, Kevin Smith, is looking like a GENIUS move, as the powers that be in Detroit have finally figured out that Rudi Johnson is old and in the way. Sorry Rudi, but yr time has come and gone...

And Saints WR Marques Colston finally had a big game this weekend, after suffering a broken thumb through most of the season. If I can get my other two WRs on track, I feel confident in saying that our beloved ROUGH RYDERS are gonna be tough to beat, and have a solid chance of winning the FICL championship...

Speaking of the Saints, I picked up Jeremy Shockey to play for my usual starter, Chris Cooley, who had a BYE this week. Shockey caught two passes for a total of 16 yards, which means he was a total bust. I didn't see the Saints game, but supposedly Shockey was his usual dickish self, screaming at his QB, Drew Brees both on the field and sidelines during the game. I never liked Shockey, but thought in the Saints powerful offense, he'd have a solid game. I was wrong. The dude half-asses everything. No hustle, shitty hands, and a piss-poor attitude...What was I thinking? Again, I'm very glad I didn't need better numbers from him to win this week...Anyways, I'm very glad to have Cooley back in the lineup next week. Adios, douchebag Shockey!

Finally, my defensive unit continues to play well. Of note, beloved Green Bay Packer Nick Collins intercepted a ball which he ran back for a TD...Great stuff, even though the Packers eventually lost to the hated Minnesota Vikings...Man, that sucked. The Vikings are not a very good football team, and yet they sit atop the NFC Central right now. That's fucked up.

Anyways, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are now 8-2, and sitting precariously in first place in the FICL...Onward to Week Eleven, and the always dangerous NEST OF DEATH...This one should be a barnburning nail-biter...Stay tuned!

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Nine

I'm having a hard time deciding if our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS' victory this week over the WINOS can be chalked up to LUCK or GENIUS.

If there's genius involved, it would be making a couple of quick, last minute dips into the Free Agency pool to grab Leon Washington and Kevin Smith off the wires...Because of BYES and injuries, I had no choice but to make some changes if I even stood a chance this week.

Now, Leon Washington is Thomas Jones' backup for the NY Jets, and second stringers typically don't put up great fantasy numbers, but if I had to use a backup, it only made sense to use the backup to one of my own players. Washington ended up contributing pretty much exactly what I expected him to, which wasn't earthshaking, but was better than the alternative, which was starting Darren McFadden and hoping beyond hope that he'd actually play with not one, but TWO, turf toe injuries. McFadden didn't play. GENIUS!

Then there's the rookie Kevin Smith, the best running back on the Detroit Lions, but not actually starting, because washed up veteran Rudi Johnson gets the nod for being, um, a veteran, I guess. You see, in Detroit, that kind of logic is often employed, which is why they are arguably the worst team in the NFL. The Lions were playing the Chicago Bears, who have one of the better defenses in the league, so pulling the trigger on Kevin Smith was doubly risky - not a starter, going against a staunch run defense - but he put up as many FP in my team's flex position as anybody else this season, and I consider that GENIUS.

On the other hand, LUCK played a major part in this week's victory. The WINOS' starting QB, Kyle Orton, only played about half a game because of an ankle injury, and if he had stayed healthy and finished his game, we definitely would have lost. Definitely.

Otherwise, most everything else went as planned. Greg "Brillo" Camarillo far exceeding expectations, and that certainly played a part. And then there's the Pittsburgh Defense, which had a huge game against the Redskins last night, and nearly doubled their projected score...

Consider this - I was trailing by 50 FP going into Monday night's game between the Redskins and Steelers, and I didn't really think I had a shot of actually winning. I had Chris Cooley, Pittsburgh's Defense, and James Harrison left on my team, and the WINOS had Troy Polamalu, and I knew I'd close that 50 point gap, but I never thought I'd pull out a victory...

But here we are...For me, it may have been the single greatest comeback (and unexpected victory) in my fantasy football life...

Having said that, I'm going to cut this week's recap short, because it's election night in the United States, and I'd like to watch Barack Obama bring it home.

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Eight

Well, babycakes, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS won again this week, defeating THE HAIRY NIPPLES by a respectable 34 FP. However, we were projected to win by about 100 FP, and the fact that we didn't is a huge cause for concern.

I'm not worried about Pittsburgh's team defense, or James Harrison's performance, as I had picked the Giants to beat the Steelers, and their underperformance was somewhat expected.

No, I'm concerned about my fucking wide receivers, none of whom are playing anywhere near their potential. Terrell Owens was a bust for the third week in a row, and 4 out of the last 5 weeks, and I've completely lost confidence in his ability to, you know, actually perform like an All-Pro WR...The sad part is, when Tony Romo gets back from his broken finger, I have doubts this is going to change. TO is a non-factor in the Cowboy offense, it's as simple as that. He's become an overpriced decoy this season and nothing more. This isn't completely his fault, since Brad Johnson can't throw the ball more than 15 yards downfield, and when Romo was healthy, he never threw the ball TO's way too often anyways. But now I have this gut feeling that TO just doesn't give a shit anymore. He recognizes his reduced role in this offense, and I believe he's just stopped trying.

Meanwhile, I picked up Derrick Mason on a whim because I had a feeling Marques Colston wouldn't do anything this week (he didn't). Of course, this would be the week that Mason caught only one pass for 3 yards, after being the #1 targeted receiver on his team all season long. This is an omen, I'm telling ya...An omen that my receiving corps is going to continue sucking the rest of the season.

Greg "Brillo" Camarillo exceeded (barely) expectations this week, but when expectations are this low, it's not hard to excel. I should point out that Camarillo has been his teams #1 targeted receiver all season, until this week, of course. No, this week Ted Ginn exploded. Fuck the Dolphins. Fuck Chad Pennington. Fuck Ted Ginn.

Meanwhile, Jonathan Stewart was little used in Carolina's victory over Arizona, and it's only through luck that he's put up much better numbers all season. He's the #2 back in Carolina, but at least he's been getting red zone touches. Not this week.

Likewise, the Jets continue to underutilize Thomas Jones. They were playing the very worst run defense in the NFL this weekend, the KC Chiefs, so what does coach Mangini do? Has Favre throwing the fucking ball all over the place, all day. He threw three interceptions, by the way, and the Jets were lucky, and nothing more, when they squeaked out a victory over the Chiefs. Fuck Eric Mangini. Fuck the Jets. Hey, Jets fans, you wanna know why your team won't make the playoffs this year, and won't improve as long as Mangini is coach? The fuckstain doesn't know how to exploit his opponents' weaknesses.

Otherwise, I guess I can't complain. I started Jason Campbell in place of "Fucking Cuts" Cutler, because of the Bronco BYE, and he played well. In fact, it should be noted that Campbell hasn't thrown a single interception yet this season. Amazing.

Anyways, next week our beloved ROUGH RYDERS are taking on THE WINOS. At the moment the idiot oracles at Yahoo are predicting a very tight score, but I'm here to tell you right now, we're going to lose to THE WINOS next week, and it's gonna be ugly. That's right...I may love my team, but right now and for the forseeable future, I have no faith.

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Seven

Another week, another victory for our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, who stomped and squished the BUGMANIACS. We are now 5-2 in the FICL, and in second place in the standings. Barring a total team collapse in the next 2-4 weeks, I would think a spot in the playoffs is all but assured at this point. Of course, most of my stud players still have BYE weeks coming up, so anything is possible.

Anything is possible, and if you don't believe me, take a look at the final score up above, and notice how both teams woefully underscored their projected totals. In the case of the ROUGH RYDERS, I can only point to all of my studs - "Fucking Cuts" Cutler, Frank Gore, and my entire WR corps of Terrell Owens, Marques Colston, and Greg Jennings.

Cutler had his first truly questionable outing of the year, and he still put up 30 FP, which says more about the FICL's crazy scoring system than it does about Cutler's studliness.

Gore simply got shut down by the Giants, one of the better defenses in the NFL...Still, 11 yards on 11 catches is abysmal for any running back, and especially a dependable monster like Gore.

Terrell Owens has all but disappeared in the Cowboys' offense lately, and if you don't think that factors into the Cowboys losing three of their last four games (two of those losses against the middling Cardinals and the inept Rams), then you probably don't follow football very closely, and think TO is just being his usual primadonna self when he bitches about this fact. These are trying times in Dallas, and if they lose either one of their two games before the BYE, I won't say their playoff chances are gone, but I think it will help foster a really toxic Cowboys clubhouse. Anyways, TO has caught a paltry 8 catches in the last 3 games, and nobody's gonna win many games when a player the calibre of Owens isn't getting the ball...

Marques Colston was active this week for the first time since Week One, and while he played most of the game, did not catch a single pass. I didn't see the New Orleans-Carolina game, so I don't know if he dropped any balls, or if Brees simply didn't throw in Colston's direction...There are alot of weapons on that offense, so it's easy to get lost in the shuffle, but now that Reggie Bush is out for the season with a knee injury, my only hope is that Colston factor's more in that offense moving forward. If there's one player I need on my team right now to step it up and contribute, it's definitely #12.

Greg Jennings wasn't really needed in this week's Packers defeat over the Colts, but of course if would have been nice to see him catch more than 3 balls for a tepid 30 yards. He's the leading yardage receiver in the NFL for a reason, and it ain't because of a bunch of dink passes. Anyways, Jennings and the Packers have their BYE this next Sunday, and right now it looks like I'll be starting Greg "Brillo" Camarillo, who was my best WR this week while sitting on the bench...

Otherwise, my team did fine...Thomas "Green Moses" Jones had another stellar week of rushing, and Jonathan Stewart, whom the shifty oracles of Yahoo! Sports kept saying was Questionable this week because of some undiagnosed illness, had another worthy day on the field. Yahoo! has proven time and again, this year more than in years past, that their coverage and analysis of NFL football is absolutely fucking horrible...

Here's a prime example - they suggested I bench James Harrison in favor of Omar Gaither, nevermind that Gaither was on BYE this week and Harrison is the NFL sack leader at the moment and earning just about every penny of his huge contract from the Steelers...

Finally, Chris Cooley had a fairly quiet game this week, and as far as I know, didn't accidentally post more pictures of his sausage on his personal blog. It's a good thing our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are winning this year, because otherwise I'd be starved for excitement and silliness on my team right now.

Onward, to Week Eight, when we'll be taking on THE HAIRY NIPPLES, who are currently sporting a 2-5 record, soon to be 2-6...

Unless it all goes to hell this week, which could happen, because in the world of fantasy football, anything can happen at any time...

For example, how badly did Fucking Cuts Cutler hurt his hand last night?

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Six

This week's victory over THE DOUG FLUTIES had more to do with their underperformance than our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS own performance, which was slightly underwhelming itself. Nevertheless, a win is a win, and we are now 4-2 in the FICL.

Terrell Owens continues to disappoint, and now that Cowboys' QB Tony Romo is out for 4 weeks with a broken finger, who knows to what depths TO's uselessness will go...Even with former Lion WR Roy Williams being traded to Dallas, I don't have much hope of things improving. New QB starter Brad Johnson doesn't inspire any hope in me, and you might think the addition of Williams is a good thing, but I'm here to tell you that the dude is one of the most overrated WRs in the NFL. I couldn't tell you how many dropped passes I've witnessed from the man over the past 3 years...Some people say he's an elite WR, but some people are fucking morons.

On the bright side, the Saint's WR Marques Colston should be back in the ROUGH RYDERS' lineup in the next week or two from the thumb injury that has sidelined him through the first six weeks. And still, I feel like we're thin at the WR position, and the pickings are slim on the free agency wire.

The story this week, however, is New York Jets' RB Thomas Jones, who scored THREE touchdowns in their victory over the Bengals. I watched that game, and what I don't understand is why the Jets don't utilize Jones more than they have so far this season. He's proven to be a solid, dependable RB, and yet, they continue to use Leon Washington far too much in my mind. Washington is an adequate change-of-pace back, but I don't believe he's good enough to warrant the amount of time he gets in any given game. Still, I can't bitch too much, at least they're using Jones more than they did last year.

LB Nick Barnett continues to disappoint, and I finally had to pull the plug on him this week and send him to free agency. As a Green Bay Packer die-hard, I naturally watch every game, and it seems to me that Barnett has lost a step, or maybe even two steps, in the early part of this season. Where once he was the first hitter, and one of the guys at the bottom of any given pile, nowadays he's one of those guys who runs up to stand over the pile when the play is whistled dead, like a fucking cornerback, you know? It's sad.

Quentin Jammer had a big game this weekend, shutting down Randy Moss, and deflecting about 6 passes during the game. What a great DB...

Chris Cooley and his sausage had another solid game this week, though he didn't catch any TD passes, and he didn't accidently expose himself again. Oh well.

As far as my own brand of brilliance is concerned, I picked up Broncos' WR Brandon Stokley at the last minute, and he caught a touchdown pass for me, which was excellent. If he hadn't suffered his 10th concussion this Sunday, he may have caught more than 3 passes, but I'm not bitching.

I also grabbed the New Orleans Saints team Defense at the last minute, since Pittsburgh had a BYE this week, and they performed exactly how I expected them to against the fairly anemic Oakland Raiders offense. I had been carrying the Jacksonville Jaguar defense all season, but at the last minute didn't feel like having my QB Jay "Fucking Cuts" Cutler going up against my own team defense, so...

Like I said at the top, this week's victory over THE DOUG FLUTIES is attributable to their complete and utter underperformance...In fact, only two of their players, QB Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packer, huzzah!) and Cleveland DB Eric Wright exceeded the predictions of the completely inept Yahoo! Fantasy Football Oracles...

So, after six weeks of exciting FICL fantasy football action, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are in second place with a record of 4-2. Next week, we face the 1-5 BUGMANIACS, but don't let that rotten record fool ya - this might very well be one of those so-called "trap games"...At the moment, we're only favored by 5 FP, which is a blip in a high scoring league like this one, and BUGMANIACS are capable of scoring huge if the luck goes his way just a little bit...

See you on the other side...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Five

Gloom! Despair! Anthony Gonzalez!

Our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS lost this weekend's fantasy football matchup against ChicagoBare'sAll by a score of 240.28 to 224.78, and I'm going to take the easy way out and blame Indianapolis Colt's WR Anthony Gonzalez...Well, and Peyton Manning...I mean, Manning finally threw more touchdowns than interceptions in a game, completing 25 passes in total...Unfortunately, only one of those receptions went to Gonzalez...It's tough to win any fantasy matchup when a WR is that inconsequential...

And speaking of wide receivers, it's tough to win when one of your opponents DL scores more points than all but one WR on either team...Patrick Willis was a tackling machine this weekend...

Otherwise, nothing really stands out in this week's contest...Sure, Frank Gore didn't meet expectations, but Chris Cooley and his sausage made up for that...

Nick Barnett continues to disappoint, and if he weren't a beloved Green Bay Packer, I'd certainly have dropped him by now...

In any event, we are now in the BYE week portion of the season, when finding adequate fill-ins becomes crucial, and just about anything can happen...I believe that if our beloved ROUGH RYDERS can escape the next four weeks with a 2-2 record, we will be in good position to make the league playoffs, when again, anything can happen, and everybody has a chance to win it all...

Perhaps I shouldn't be looking so far ahead, but I'm confident we've got the right team to make a run at the FICL title...

Our beloved ROUGH RYDERS are now 3-2, and next week we take on the always dangerous DOUG FLUTIES, managed by Thee Fractioneer, who beat us in last year's championship game...He doesn't have fucking Anquan Boldin to mess things up this year, so I feel confident that another victory is at hand.

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Four

Let's keep this week's recap short and sweeeeeeeeet, shall we?

Our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS handily defeated the previously undefeated BLACKANDBLUE in this past weekend's fantasy football matchup. In doing so, we are now tied with three other teams for first place in the FICL with a record of 3-1. In this coming weekend's fantasy action, we will be taking on one of those other 3-1 teams, CHICAGO BARES ALL, and while it should prove to be an exciting matchup, I feel confident right now predicting that we will embarrass CHICAGO BARES ALL...

I'm also predicting that Chris Cooley will once again "accidentally" post a picture of his sausage on his blog, this time wrapped in either some undercooked bacon, or a Rough Rider Warming Pleasure™ condom.

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Three

Despite the victory, this week's fantasy football action was pretty damn boring. Our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS and their opponent, APPLESAUCE, underperformed at seemingly every position...Plus, Chris Cooley didn't accidentally post any pictures of his sausage on his blog, and James Farrior didn't give the finger to the Eagles' fans, though he probably should have flipped one to the Steelers' offensive line, who suck so bad right now that they couldn't keep my old high school's defense from running roughshod all over poor Ben Roethlisberger's ass...

BLACKHAWK FOOTBALL! WE DON'T REBUILD, WE RELOAD!

Anyways...Jay "Fucking Cuts" Cutler fell back to earth this week, which means he still put up damn good numbers. It would appear Denver wants to play high-scoring longball this year, and that's perfectly fine with me. "Cuts" is golden right now. "Cuts" is also a lame nickname, innit?

Terrell Owens...Sigh...In a perfect world, TO woulda had a huge game in a losing effort to my beloved GREEN BAY PACKERS...Instead, Charles Woodson shut down TO almost completely...If the ROUGH RYDERS would have lost this week, I'd be pissed at Terrell right now, but we won, so I won't worry for at least another week...If he has another subpar performance against the Redskins next Sunday, then I'll get pissed and weepy...

Speaking of the Packers, WR Greg Jennings continues to rack up the yardage, but has yet to score a touchdown...I predict he'll score twice next week in Tampa Bay...

Frank Gore had a damn fine game against the inept Detroit Lions, leading our beloved ROUGH RYDERS in scoring this week, with an impressive 53.2 FP...Right now, Gore may very well be the most dependable RB in the NFL, and in Mike Martz's potent offense, Gore can only get better...

McFadden? Stewart? Stewart? McFadden? At this point, I can pretty much flip-flop these two rookie RBs, as they're both sharing carries on their respective teams...Darren McFadden gets more carries and yardage, but Jonathan Stewart gets it at the goal line, and he's returning kicks...Stewart is probably the smarter choice at the moment, but McFadden is the one who is more likely to break out for a huge game, like he did in Week Two, when I had him on the bench...

Defensively, nothing out of the ordinary...James Harrison appears to either suck or shine, and this week, he sucked. Quentin Jammer was a good pick-up, as he appears to be a quick DB with a good nose for the ball...Marcus Trufant continues to disappoint...So does Nick Barnett...My defensive players are certainly something I'm going to be looking closely at through this BYE week part of the season...It would appear I'm "halfway there" right now, but I definitely gotta find a couple of diamonds in the free agency pool, because the difference could be an extra 10+ points a week, and every point counts in a high-scoring league like the FICL...

Anyways, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS embarrassed APPLESAUCE this week by a score of 235.39 to 173.34, and it was never even close...

Onward, to Week Four and the undefeated BLACKANDBLUE team...I'm feeling pretty good right now about this matchup...BLACKANDBLUE is going dowwwwwwwn!

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Two

Jay "Fucking Cuts" Cutler!!!

Cuts Cutler!!

76.60 FP!!!!!

Alright, enough exclamations...Not so much color...

The dude lit it up at home against the supposedly vaunted San Diego Chargers defense, and he got some super fucking help from referee Ed Hochuli, who fucked up a crucial call late in the 4th quarter when Cuts fumbled...Cuts went on to throw a touchdown, and then throw another for a 2 point conversion, and the Broncos surprised and sickened the Chargers...So big ups to Ed Hochuli, for fucking up the call in favor of our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, but more importantly, because he manned up and admitted the mistake...He's a great and solid NFL referee, and while some sort of penalty might be called for, we all gotta forgive and forget...Well, all of us except the Chargers and their fans...

So, Jay Fucking Cuts Cutler made all the difference this week, making our victory over the formidable and historic NestOfDeath much more impressive than it actually looks...

I gotta note, on NestOfDeath's side, Anquan Boldin lit it up in the Arizona desert for 38 FP, and you certainly don't remember, but I do...I remember how Fucking Anquan lit it up for 41.2 FP in last year's championship game, which was a huge reason why I lost that game to Just Another Team...Oh, I remember, I've got the TAG to prove it...I've got the silver trophy, Thee Fractioneer's got the gold...Bitterness? Oh yeah...I see anything Arizona-related on the opponent's team, and I get a bit pissed and a little nervous...One of these years, before it's too late, I oughta draft Larry Fitzgerald or Anquan Boldin...

Fuckin' Anquan!

Otherwise, everyone on the offensive side of our beloved ROUGH RYDERS exceeded the projections of the shady Yahoo! oracles...

TE notes...While I pulled a genius move by starting Jay Cuts Cutler this week and from now on (15th round pick, bitches!), I pulled a potential boner by cutting Cuts' best friend and TE Tony Scheffler, and picking up Chris Cooley off the free agency meat market...

Speaking of Chris Cooley and meat, did you see that pic of the tip of his sausage that he mistakenly posted on his blog? Well, here it is anyway... Since I gave up on Ocho-Cinco this year, I guess Chris Cooley's sausage will have to do in terms of unexpected hijinx...On the other hand, I find this image much more disturbing...

The jokes just kinda write themselves...I'm gonna leave 'em alone...

Anyways, on the defensive side of things, there were some disappointments...Nick Barnett was quiet all afternoon against Detroit, racking up a pathetic 1.5 FP, but in a cunning move, NestOfDeath had picked up the Packers' other LB, AJ Hawk, and he had a damn fine game...

Atari Bigby fucked something up during the game, although the Packers are saying it was "cramping"...Either way, he had one sad, sad tackle before leaving the game...Sadly, I may be dropping him next week, although the cunning NestOfDeath has just picked up Packers cornerback Charles Woodson, who I had been eyeing...

Elsewhere, Marcus Trufant broke a bone in his hand in practice yesterday, James Harrison came crashing back to earth and mediocrity, and James Farrior fucked up his back in Sunday's win over the Cleveland Browns, and is listed as probably next week...On the bright side, he did give the finger to the Cleveland fans...Decisions, decisions...

Another decision, perhaps not too difficult...Jonathan Stewart has played well and put up respectable fantasy points so far, but Oakland's Justin Fargas fucked up his groin in last Sunday's game, and it looks like Darren McFadden will get the start, if not most of the load, this coming Sunday at Buffalo, and that's potential dynamite because McFadden exploded this week for 164 yards on 21 carries, plus a touchdown, racking up 46.30 FP while sitting on my bench...

It's a damn good thing I didn't need his FP to win this week's matchup...

The beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are now 1-1...

Onward to Week Three, and a team called applesauce...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week One

Well, babycakes, here we are - Week One of the 2008 NFL season, and therefore, Week One of exciting WINONA ROUGH RYDERS fantasy football action...

And yeah, there was some action, although I am sad to report that our beloved ROUGH RYDERS came up 3.83 FP short, thus losing our first game of the season...On the bright side, we exceeded projections, as projected by the shadowy peeps working at Yahoo!, while our opponents, Scarecrows, didn't quite meet their expectations...

3.83 FP...That's one more looong field goal from Stephen Gostkowski, but then again, the Patriots all but fell apart after Tom Brady went down with a season-ending knee injury...On a sidenote to this, I've got Randy Moss on my other fantasy team, The SUPER DOOM UNIT, and he didn't do anything of note after Brady went down either...

3.83 FP...That's just a couple more short-yardage catches from Marques Colston, except he fucked up his thumb at some point during that game, and now he's out for the next 6 weeks...That's a huge blow to my team, as he's a threat to go A-List legit this year, and my team is currently quite thin at wide receiver...In fact, my only backup is Anthony Gonzalez, the third or fourth option in the Colts' offense...I gotta make a decision here, whether to go fishin' for another receiver, or sacrifice one of my DBs...See, the thing is, we still have all the BYE weeks to navigate, and that doesn't leave much room for movement...

3.83 FP...That's a couple more completions and a couple more first downs for QB Ben Roethlisberger, but Pittsburgh and Fast Willie Parker (another member of The SUPER DOOM UNIT) had things very well under control, and Roethlisberger fucked up his shoulder a bit anyways, and only threw 14 passes the entire game, all of 'em in the first half, if I'm not mistaken...As you may remember, the Pittsburgh Steelers are my second favorite football team after the beloved GREEN BAY PACKERS, and as much as I like Big Ben, I've already decided I've gotta go with Jay Cutler as my starting QB until he proves me wrong...

3.83 FP...That's a couple more receptions from TE Owen Daniels...But the Houston Texans were going up against the Steelers DEF, so his underwhelming performance wasn't unexpected...Since I'm starting Jay Cutler next week, I might have to start Bronco TE Tony Scheffler as well....

3.83 FP...That's an aweful slim margin in a insanely high-scoring league like our FICL...The loss is bitter, of course, but for the most part, I was happy with my team's performance...I'm happy and I think I'm gonna be proud that I was able to snag RB Thomas Jones in the 8th round of the draft...All ten of us made a big mistake letting him last to the 73rd pick...As I think I mentioned in my draft notes, the additions of Alan Faneca and Brett Favre to the Jets' offense, is gonna help Jones running game open up and bounce back from his extremely disappointing 2007 season...Hold thumbs that he stays healthy, though it looks like I've got two capable backups in rookies Darren McFadden and Jonathan Stewart...

Finally, a big shout out to Steeler LB James Harrison, who put up a huge 16 FP, racking up 3 sacks, a forced fumble, 7 solo tackles and 2 assists...

Our beloved ROUGH RYDERS may have lost this week, but historically, we've lost more Week One games than we've won...Call it poor coaching...

Onward, to Week Two, and the formidable and historical NestOfDeath...No one gets out alive from that one...

Hotcha! Hank

Scorpio Babers!

I mentioned Scorpio Babers in my previous post regarding the Winona Rough Ryders fantasy football draft, and his name is so damn fine that I thought the man deserved his own post, especially because the odds are against Scorpio making the final Packers roster, which must be cut down by 20 players by the end of this week...He's looked pretty good so far this pre-season, but the Packers are pretty deep at cornerback...You would think his name alone would guarantee him a spot on the team...

Scorpio Babers!

Hotcha! Hank

Blood Makes The Grass Grow

It's that time of year, babycakes!

The 2008 NFL season begins next week, so of course that means Fantasy Football is back in full swing, and that means it's the return of everyone's favorite FF franchise, the beloved Winona Rough Ryders...

Man, it seems like it was just seven months ago that the Rough Ryders took second place in the APFL...

Which reminds me - the league has been renamed this year to the Fantasy Inner Circle League, or the FICL, and yeah, there's a part of me that thinks Wino is being fickle with this league re-christening, but he's a good commissioner, and our beloved Rough Ryders are going to win it all this year no matter what the league is called...

So, as you can see from the graphic above, the FICL had our draft on Monday night, and that would be this year's Winona Rough Ryders! All in all, I was quite happy with my draft this year, although in hindsight I do have to second guess myself a couple times...

Eighth pick in the draft, and going into it, I had seriously considered grabbing QB Tom Brady or WR Randy Moss with a later pick like mine, but both of those players got nabbed right in front of me, so that decision was essentially made for me...Conventional wisdom is to draft an RB in the first round, and with Brady and Moss off the table, Frank Gore was my highest pre-ranked RB, so I grabbed him...My thinking that he'll become a formidable and prolific receiving RB in Mike Martz's new offensive scheme in San Francisco, making him a fantasy stud...

It was a tough draft this year in terms of RB...There are a few that are still young and unproven (Adrian Peterson, Ryan Grant, Marshawn Lynch), and there are even more that are starting to age, losing a step or two, being more prone to injury (LT, Steven Jackson, Brian Westbrook, Rudi Johnson, Jamal Lewis)...

And then there are the rookies...I drafted the two best rookie RB prospects this year, and it's one of those gambits that will either blow up in my face, or make me look like a fucking genius and wish the FICL was a keeper league...Darren McFadden finds himself one of four potential starters out in Oakland, though I suspect he'll rise to the top of the depth chart by mid-season, so grabbing him in the fourth round as my 2nd RB looks fairly foolish in hindsight...At the moment, anyways...

Meanwhile, rookie RB Jonathan Stewart is running like an All-Pro this pre-season down in Carolina...The problem there is, DeAngelo Williams (a back I've drafted and championed the past two seasons) is running like an All-Pro as well...Having said that, I was able to draft the first (or second) best rookie RB prospect in the eleventh round, which is fucking sweet no matter how ya look at it...Even considering that I took McFadden in the fourth...(Why?)

Anyways, I did the conventional thing and took Gore with my first pick, and my strategy has always been to grab WRs with the next two picks, which I obviously did...Terrell Owens was a great pick for me, I believe, and there's really nothing else to say about it...Barring injury, he may very well be my leading fantasy scorer this season...

In the third round, I grabbed WR Marques Colston of the New Orleans Saints...He was the ninth WR drafted, and in a rare stroke of insight, I had him pencilled-in as my #3 pick in the days leading up to the draft...And here he is, a proud Winona Rough Ryder! I expect a huge year from the young man...

I usually grab my QB within the first three rounds, but this year I waited until the fifth round, and ended up taking Ben Roethlisberger...As a die-hard Steeler fan, it was an easy choice, perhaps too easy, because in reality, the Steeler's O-line is a porous mess, and the receiving corp, quite honestly, could be better....Hines Ward is a fucking champ, but he is getting old, there's no denying that...With rookie Mendenhall joining Willie Parker in the backfield, the Steelers might be content to just grind it out on the ground this year...

It might not matter, because looking at my team right now, I think I'm going to be starting my other QB, Jay Cutler of the Denver Broncos...He's young, he's smart, and he's got promising receivers, including my 2nd TE, Tony Scheffler, who might also end up starting for me instead of Owen Daniels...

Usually, I draft my starting TE within the first five rounds, but this year I ended up waiting until the seventh round to grab Owen Daniels of Houston...In Round 5 of our draft, both Antonio Gates and Jason Witten were grabbed ahead of my pick, and frankly, those were the only two TEs I considered good enough to take that early, so when they were gone, my decision was once again made for me...I briefly considered grabbing Tony Gonzalez with that 5th pick, but he's now the oldest active TE in the NFL, and he's playing for a KC offense that may very well be a mess this year...He served me well last year, but that was last year...

So I grabbed another WR with my fifth pick, Greg Jennings of my own beloved Green Bay Packers...It may have been a risky pick considering that Aaron Rodgers is now the Packers' QB, but Jennings has proven to me that he's got the potential to be a truly elite NFL receiver, and if nothing else, he's the best Packer receiver, and wouldn't ya know it, he grabbed a 60 yard TD pass on the first drive of tonight's pre-season game against the Titans...

Yeah, add Anthony Gonzalez, my 10th pick, into the mix, and I believe I've got a dynamite receiving situation this year...TE and QB, maybe not so much, but ya can't always have it all...

Elsewhere...

New York Jets' RB Thomas Jones in the 8th round? It was absurd when I saw he was still available with the 73rd pick, and it's absurd even now...With Brett Favre at QB in NYC, and future Hall-Of-Fame guard Alan Faneca on their line this year, Thomas Jones could bounce back and have a stellar season...Could...And if he does, I don't see any reason why our beloved Rough Ryders won't be charging hard towards the FICL title...

In Pittsburgh and Jacksonville I have two of the best six defensive units in the NFL...Plus, as I've mentioned many times before, the Steelers are my second most beloved NFL team after the Packers...Having said that, Jacksonville might very well win out in the long run...It will likely come down to which team faces the most inept offense each weekend, and the Jaguars definitely have a much easier schedule than the Steelers do...

I definitely wanted Packer LB Nick Barnett on my team again this year, although taking him in the 12th round was silliness...He would have lasted until near the end, I reckon...

Patriot K Stephen Gostkowski was shockingly available for my 13th pick...I always draft my K in the 13th round, but I still can't believe Gostkowski, potentially the most valuable kicker in the NFL, was the eighth kicker taken when I grabbed him with my #13...Plus, he's a fellow Polack...I like most Polacks...

Marcus Trufant led the NFL in interceptions last season, if I'm not mistaken...Atari Bigby is a Green Bay Packer, he plays a bit recklessly, and has my favorite name in the NFL, although if fellow Packer DB, Scorpio Babers makes the team, I may have to rethink it...In any event, I've got a solid DB tandem...

I've also got a decent DL tandem as well...James Harrison of the Steelers, and Brian Posluszny of the Bills...Another tough Polack...

And that's about it...A blathering rundown of our beloved Winona Rough Ryders...Stay tuned to HOT POOP for weekly recaps...

HINES WARD!

Hotcha! Hank

SUPER DOOM UNIT: 2007 Season Recap

While reporting extensively about our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS all season, I have obviously neglected my 2nd fantasy football team, the SUPER DOOM UNIT, and for very good reason - they sucked pretty damn hard, as you can see by the COLECO LEAGUE final standings...

The SUPER DOOM UNIT finished in 11th place, tied for the worst record in the league, while amassing the second lowest team score for the season.

There are two major reasons why my team did so poorly in this league, this year.

First of all - The COLECO LEAGUE is a much more difficult league than the APFL, where I typically do very well. The COLECO LEAGUE is 12 teams, rather than just 10, and 11 of those 12 team managers were active and involved with their teams all season, whereas about half of the managers in the APFL pay any sort of attention after draft day. This makes the free agency and waiver pools much more difficult to fish from during the season - you gotta be quick, and almost psychic, to land the really precious unknowns, like Ryan Grant...With more involved managers, you also never run across teams with empty slots in their lineups, or half their players on BYES or out for the season on IR, yet still in their lineup...

The second reason the SUPER DOOM UNIT did so horribly this year is because of injuries and bad timing regarding my top three draft picks...

Drew Brees was my 3rd round pick at QB, and most people expected him to have another monster year, yardage-wise, but his first three games were absolute disasters...Which ended up negating the slightly above average performances of my 1st and 2nd round picks, Rudi Johnson and Marvin Harrison gave me in those early weeks...

Then Rudi Johnson went down with a hamstring injury in Week Three and Marvin Harrison went down with a knee injury early in Week Four, and Rudi's out for the next 6 weeks, and Marvin never comes back, and what's a poor boy to do?

I did have the Purple Jesus, Adrian Peterson, and he was pretty much the only bright spot in my lineup all season, with Drew Brees eventually becoming a dimmer light, and my kicker, Jason Hanson, actually winning a game for me...That's how brutal this season was...Here's a typical matchup which kinda shows the ragtag lineup I had to hobble together out of fading stars and B-listers...Naturally, this matchup highlights one of the two weeks PURPLE JESUS missed with a knee injury, while my opponent had Chester Taylor in his lineup since draft day, even though Taylor mostly sat on the bench up to this particular weekend...

Kenny Watson gave me two or three good weeks in place of Rudi Johnson, but certainly not enough to help me win...In general, I can't believe Rudi will be a #1 RB next year if he stays in Cincinnati...

Patrick Crayton wasn't the answer...The Green Bay Packers' rookie WR James Jones wasn't the answer either...Warrick Dunn is definitely already in his twilight years...Brandon Stokley didn't ramp up his game as much as he should have when Javon Walker went down to injury, so he wasn't an answer either...I had my man-crush Julius Jones on this team as well, but as long as he's in Dallas, he's not the answer either...

Anyways, that's about it...A wretched season that could have been much better if I had Rudi and Marvin healthy, but then again, who knows...The team and season might have been doomed from the start, when Yahoo! didn't allow the original name THEE 100% SUPER DOOM UNIT, because it had too many characters...

Hotcha! Hank