29 November 2012
21 November 2012
Wednesday's Fortune: 21 November 2012
13 November 2012
Tuesday's Fortune: 13 November 2012
10 November 2012
Something 4 The Weekend # 253
Zounds: The Curse Of Zounds: "Can't Cheat Karma" [mp3]
Grafton High School cafeteria, circa 1982. My girlfriend Pamela sat at a large, round table with approximately eight or ten of her girlfriends. I sat at another large round table with my friends just twenty feet away. My friends were daring me to do a swan dive onto my girlfriend's table, offering money, and so I egged them on, trying to secure more cash. When the pool hit $100, I stood up unannounced, accelerated quickly towards the girl's table, and launched myself in a high, graceful arc towards the middle of that round target. I remember how slowly those couple of seconds lasted before impact. I remember making eye contact with Sue K during those two seconds, and I remember the horror in her eyes.
It is here that I must tell you that the large round table onto which I was diving was the kind of table that folds in the middle, and on that fateful day that table was not secured, or was simply the kind of table that never secured, and when I landed I was aligned with the gap between the two leaves of the table, and so the whole thing folded under my weight, the two half-circles collapsing in the middle, flipping trays of food upward, and sending nine or eleven sophomore girls screaming from the calamity.
I collected my $100 from my friends, who were roaring with delight at my stunt, with many of the other 500 kids in th cafeteria that day applauding, many of them standing to do so.
I then got a verbal beatdown from Vice-Principal Bliese, a monstrous 6'6" 350 pound man whom everyone feared. I also got the mop from the janitors and had to clean up the mess I had made.
I then got suspended the rest of the week (two days, BFD!)...
But the worst of it was the fact that Donna K got grape juice all over her pink cashmere sweater, which I had to replace at a cost of $85, leaving me a whopping $15 for my effort.
08 November 2012
Thursday's Fortune: 08 November 2012
02 November 2012
Something 4 The Weekend # 252
Camper Van Beethoven: II & III: "(We're A) Bad Trip" [mp3]
Imagine eight to twelve young stoners sitting around a large coffee table in the living room of a Victorian house on Milwaukee's east side circa 1988. As you might imagine, every last one of those stoners arrived at that powwow with a disposable lighter on their person.
The circles in which I travelled liked to play a game we simply called "The Lighter Game". The object of the lighter game was to come into possession of somebody else's lighter without their immediate knowledge. This meant until that person asks "Who's got my fucking lighter?", or until that person left. As you can imagine, with bongs and pipes being passed around, there was also the tendency for lighters to travel as well. And of course, being stoned made it more likely for us to forget we've handed off our lighter.
We played this game within the confines of these stoner circles, and at larger parties, where there were many people who had no knowledge of "The Lighter Game", and so the winner of that night's lighter game might have as many as six or eight lighters rattling around in the pocket of their Levis 501 buttonfly jeans.
Anyways, that was kinda our version of CVB's "bad trip".