Something 4 The Weekend # 193

AC/DC: Highway To Hell: "If You Want Blood (You've Got It)" [mp3]

I played high school football at a "football factory", and one of our traditions every season, no matter if it was freshman, JV, or varsity football, was for all the players to pitch in $10 towards the best stereo we could get, because a high school football lockerroom simply didn't function without insanely loud music, especially pre-game. At the end of the season (as often as not we were state champs back then) we'd raffle off the system, and get beyond blitzed for a job well done.

And yes, we had our pre-game mix tape. This song was my contribution. Blood is an integral part of football. As we often chanted on the bus heading to away games, "blood makes the grass grow", which we'd be chanting even louder on the ride home after every inevitable win.

Anyways, last Sunday our beloved Green Bay Packers won Super Bowl XLV, and surely this sounds cocky, but their victory seemed certain the moment they grabbed that 6th and last seed in the NFC playoffs.

Congrats to the Packers and their faithful, and thank-you Jacobson Bros Deli for the bitchin' Kielbasa. I'd like to offer the Packers our old Grafton Blackhawks motto and most popular bumpersticker - GREEN BAY FOOTBALL - WE DON'T REBUILD, WE RELOAD.

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2010: Week Two

Our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS destroyed BUGMANIA in both meetings last year, so this loss must certainly taste sweet for Gregor...

I'm not bitter...Oh sure, I'm pissed at Maurice Jones-Drew, who has been useless through two weeks, but even if he had played to his stud potential, I probably still would have lost. If we were going to lose this week, it's good that MJD hopefully got this shit out of his system. 6.8 FP, and 3 of those were for tackles after turnovers. Unacceptable for the third pick in the draft.

Aside from MJD, I can only bitch about my fucking kicker, Lawrence Tynes and my DL's, Julius Peppers and Aaron Kampman. Certainly my first mistake was drafting a NY Giant named Lawrence who isn't named Taylor, and I'm gonna need to do something about that in the next week or two...Peppers is on alert as well, and I can only imagine how the Bears' front office is thinking right now, giving the dude a six-year, $91 million contract, with half of that guaranteed. For that kind of money, he oughta have six sacks already.

$45 million guaranteed for a defensive lineman. I played DE my JV year. I was pretty decent, but I wanted to be a linebacker. I wanted to be Jack Lambert. Jack Ham. Lawrence Taylor.

Now I'd want to be Clay Matthews. That dude does have six sacks already. I don't expect him to keep it up, but as a Packer fan, I'd say he's a real-deal ballhawk and all-around free-range lunatic.

Poor AJ Hawk. He was the crazy white linebacker hope of Packerland just two short years ago. He was a beloved Rough Ryder, for chrissakes! He was doing car dealership commercials and that PSA about manners that they play before every film at the theater around here. Poor AJ Hawk is seemingly dead. Long live Clay Matthews. If he shows up in a Culver's commercial, we'll know for sure that the torch has been passed.

Anyways, on the other side of the ball for the Packers (and our beloved ROUGH RYDERS) all I can say is Brandon Jackson ain't Ryan Grant, but he could be. I mean, he was poised to be the Packers' starting RB until Grant showed up from the Giants.

This week's MVP for the ROUGH RYDERS is the Pittsburgh Steelers' Defense. Not only did they hold the Titans' offense to 11 points, but they had four sacks, four fumble recoveries, three interceptions, and a kickoff return for a TD to start the game. That all adds up to a stunning 36 FP.

The beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS still lost, but I'm not bitter.

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2010: Week One

Another NFL season is upon us, babycakes, and that means another year of fantasy football!

Another year of the WINONA ROUGH RYDERS!!!!! Another year demanding CAPITULATION every single week, and hopefully destroying those foes who won't...

And this year, unlike most, began with a victory in Week One.

Rather poetically, the stud this week for our beloved ROUGH RYDERS was FUCKIN' ANQUAN, who you might remember exploded for 41.2 FP in my league's championship game in 2007 and singlehandedly cost us the TICPL crown that year to Thee Fractioneer.

But here he is in 2010, playing for us, and he had a great (not stellar) 18 FP to lead our team to a somewhat convincing victory over the BLATZ BLASTERS, a team that was flat once you got past the foamy head that is Manning and Wayne at the top of their roster...

Meanwhile, I had MATT FORTE putting up a rather beastly 41.1 FP while sitting on my bench. I opted for TERRELL OWENS in my flex spot, and he contributed a relatively meager 12.3 FP instead. Luckily I didn't need FORTE. With RYAN GRANT, my RB2 going down with a season-ending ankle injury early in the game, this week could have been disaster with or without him. Thankfully DONALD DRIVER started out this season with a BANG, adding 15 FP of his own to solid performances in the top half of my roster.

Things were a bit disappointing on the defensive side of the ball, and rest assured that ERIC WEDDLE and RAY EDWARDS have already been tossed back into free agency in exchange for (hopefully) better defensive numbers next week. I can get rather impatient with defensive players.

So say hello to OSHIOMOGHO ATOGWE, a tackling machine in St. Louis who put up great numbers for our beloved ROUGH RYDERS last year.

Say hello to AARON KAMPMAN, the ex-Packer DE/LB who now calls Jacksonville home.

Say hello to the Packer's own CLAY MATTHEWS, who had a monstrous week one game while hanging deep and unclaimed in the free agency pool.

Hello, Clay!

So here we are, the WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, 2010 edition. I had a great draft, and if I can avoid any more serious injuries like GRANT'S, I believe I've got a real solid chance of reclaiming the TICFL crown this year, which I haven't worn since 2004 when DONOVAN McNABB and MUSHIN MUHAMMAD led our team all the way to the mountaintop.

Muhsin Muhammad!

Next week we take on BUGMANIA, whom we utterly destroyed in both our meetings last season.

Here we go again...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Playoff Semi-Finals

I don't want to write this recap, but I suppose I ought to say a little something...

You might remember that back in Week Twelve, I lost to Applesauce by .93 FP, and that I was appropriately sickened by it...Well, here we are in the FICL playoff semifinals, and I lose once again to Applesauce, although this time his victory was much more convincing.

What bothers me is that from what I can tell, Applesauce hasn't managed his team since the very early part of the season, and it's soul-crushing to lose to a team that isn't even trying...They had three starting players out with injuries, and still they beat our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS by 22 FP...Soooo frustrating.

But, to be fair, even if he had been actively managing his team, we still would have lost...

In other words, this was one of those weeks when too many of my players underperformed. It's not quite a perfect storm of suckitude, but it's close enough...

Fucking Cuts had one of his worst games of the season...

Greg Jennings had 3 lousy catches for 22 yards, and it was really only luck that one of those catches happened to be a TD...He still underperformed, like most of his Green Bay Packer teammates...Man, the Packers are good at losing games in the closing minutes...They're now officially eliminated from playoff contention...As such, all I can do now is hate on the Minnesota Vikings with all my heart...Better the Chicago Bears represent the NFC North...

Terrell Owens had another shitty game...He's had more shitty games than good ones this year, and there's no doubt that he was the biggest "bust" on my team...A smarter manager probably would have benched him at some point, if only for a week or two...My problem is that I genuinely like T.O. Oh sure, he's a bigger asshole (and less fun) than Chad Johnson (my #1 WR last year), but I still think that a great NFL receiver should be a bit of a diva, and I think T.O. is misunderstood moreso than actually being a "lockerroom cancer" as he's been called repeatedly throughout his career...Now, I tend to believe that where there's smoke, there's usually fire or a bong, but in Terrell Owens case, I just think he mistakenly says the wrong things to the wrong people at the wrong time, and yeah, I imagine he's got a bong. Anyways...Biggest bust on my team this year, and I hate to say it, he's probably too old to be a viable #1 anymore, kinda like Marvin Harrison, and possibly even Randy Moss...

The Pittsburgh Steelers' Defense had another great game in reality (they're statistically the best defense in the NFL), but in fantasy, they didn't quite deliver...While they held Baltimore's offense to only 9 points and won the game, they only had 2 sacks and 2 turnovers, and because the score was so low, didn't get the opportunity for many return yards...Thus, not as many FP as they are capable of garnering...Meanwhile Applesauce had Baltimore's Defense, and even though the Ravens lost the game, they scored 12 more FP than my Steelers' Defense, all because they had 140 more return yards...Who says the punting and kicking game isn't important? Fuck.

Tied into this, of course, are the individual performances of Troy Polamalu and James Harrison, neither of whom did very much of anything, giving me only 6 FP combined when in a normal week they would have given me 15-20 FP...

None of my other defensive players did anything either...

All told, 11 of my 15 players didn't hit their projected scores...You don't win many games that way, obviously...

The other big story, I suppose, was Frank Gore. My big, bruising #1 draft pick was out with an injury this week, the first time in the last two years he's missed a game...

Now, I actually did a fairly good job in covering for his absense...I spot started rookie Jonathan Stewart for the first time since Week Two or Three, and he held his own against his Carolina Panther teammate DeAngelo Williams, who started for Applesauce...And I pulled the trigger on recent acquisition Tashard Choice from the Dallas Cowboys. He ended up leading the Cowboys in rushing and receiving yards, and contributed a healthy 33 FP to the ROUGH RYDER cause...In the end, with Thomas "Green Moses" Jones having his typical great day, my running backs did as well as they do in any typical week...

But the bottom line is, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS fucking lost to a team with an absentee manager, and now we're relegated to playing the consolation game for 3rd place, rather than making a return trip to the Championship game, which we've done 2 of the last 3 seasons...

This could have been the year when whispers of "dynasty" started bouncing around the FICL message board, but instead, we're probably going to get our asses handed to us by NESTOFDEATH, and finish in 4th place...

Sigh. It can all go to hell so, so quickly...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Twelve

If I'm not mistaken, this is the first time our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS have lost two games in a row since 2005, and while last week's loss to NESTOFDEATH was fine with me, this week's loss to APPLESAUCE sickens me...

It's sickens me because two of his players didn't play, and he should have known they weren't playing, and even though they didn't score any points, his team still beat projections by 40 points, while our beloved ROUGH RYDERS fell 16 points short of projections, and thus, in the end, we lost by .93 fantasy points!

.93! Less than one point in a very high-scoring league...It's sickening, and would be heartbreaking if our beloved ROUGH RYDERS hadn't already secured a play-off spot...

One point was all I needed to win this week. That's one more rushing attempt by Frank Gore...He wouldn't even need to gain any yardage on the play, which he probably wouldn't have, considering how the Cowboy's defense shut him down all afternoon...But I'm not gonna bitch about Frank Gore...He's been reliable and consistently high-scoring all season, so he's allowed one bad game...I just want to point out exactly how close this loss truly is, and therefore how sickening it is...One more tackle by any of my defensive players, and I win...One more catch by Marques Colston, and I win...One more completed pass by Jay Cutler, and I win...

FUCK!

Speaking of Marques Colston - fuck you, Drew Brees...I mean, I appreciate the 70 yard TD bomb you guys connected on, but c'mon, you completed 20 passes in that blowout over the Green Bay Packers, but that 70-yarder was the only completion Colston had the entire game...Naw, fuck you, man, that's just not right...And double fuck-you for blowing out my beloved Pack...

Anyways, onward to Week Thirteen, the last week of the FICL regular season, wherein our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS take on BLACKANDBLUE, who are currently in first place with a record of 10-2. One of those losses was to us back in week four, so we'll see what happens this week. If we lose for the third straight week this weekend, we're still in 4th, and will have to go through BLACKANDBLUE to the championship...If we win, well, who fucking knows...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Eleven

Listen, I don't mind losing to NESTOFDEATH...Kae is a good FF manager, who's involved every day of the season, and trying to improve his team until the end, and I definitely respect him for that...I'd much rather lose to somebody like him than to somebody who gives up on his team after a couple weeks, doesn't make any personnel moves, and still manages to pull a couple of ill-timed victories outta his ass...

It's the WAY I lost this week that's so fucking bitter...Two referee calls directly impacted my team's score, taking 16 FP away from our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, which would have been enough for a victory this week, rather than this defeat...

First, one of my DB's, Nick Collins, intercepted a pass and ran it back for a touchdown, which would have netted me 8 FP...Instead, the play was nullified by an illegal blocking penalty that not even Joe Buck and Troy Aikman could find after several replays, and which I couldn't see either...Coach McCarthy didn't throw his red flag for a review of the play (the Packers were already crushing the Bears at this late stage of the game), and in the end, no interception, no touchdown, no 8 FP for me...

Then there was the final play of the Chargers-Steelers game...I've got Pittsburgh's team defense, and after Charger's QB Philip Rivers dumped a short pass to LaDainian Tomlinson, the RB lateraled to a teammate, who tried lateraling again, only to have the ball batted away and scooped up by Steeler's safety Troy Polamalu, who ran the ball in for a touchdown as time expired...Again, this single play would have netted me another 8 FP, except that the referees flagged one of the Chargers (I'm still not sure which one) for an illegal forward pass, negating the turnover and the touchdown, and taking those sweet 8 FP off my board...Again, this was the absolute wrong call, and yesterday the NFL even issued a statement admitting that the call was wrong, and were reviewing measures to keep the mistake from happening again...Bottom line, I lost 8 invaluable FPs, which added to the other 8 FP denied me by the referees in Green Bay, makes for a convincing case that I was robbed of this monumental FICL victory by forces beyond my control - the referees of the NFL...

So yeah, I'm bitter about this week's loss, but at least I lost to a good team, a team I very well might face again in the upcoming playoffs...And that's about all I want to say about Week Eleven...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Ten

Well, well, well...It was a HUGE week for our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, who put up their highest team score of the season this past weekend on the way to a comfortable victory over SCARECROWS, who happened to beat us way back in Week One. I'd like to think that this is a sign that my team is starting to gel at just the right time, with the FICL playoffs within sight. With this victory, our beloved ROUGH RYDERS are currently in 1st place in the FICL, but next week we take on NEST OF DEATH, who have the highest average team score in the league. We beat them way back in Week Two, but things obviously change, and next week's matchup figures to be a barnburner from start to finish...Anything can happen, and usually does...But what about this past week?

It all started early, on Thursday night, with Jay "Fucking Cuts" Cutler lighting it up in Cleveland for about 450 passing yards and 3 touchdowns, good for a whopping 67.78 FP, which was only his second highest FP score of the year...Since Denver has lost about 3 dozen RB to injury so far this year, I'm counting on the Broncos offense to be 98% passing plays the rest of the season, which is nothing but golden for our beloved ROUGH RYDERS....Woot!

Meanwhile, all three of my running backs had great games, especially Thomas "Green Moses" Jones, who rushed for about 150 yards and 3 touchdowns. Finally, Mangini is using Green Moses the way Green Moses oughta be used.

Green Moses!

Frank Gore was slightly off his game, but still managed to rush for 100 yards, though he didn't find paydirt. Thankfully, I didn't need any TDs from him this week.

And my most recent free agency pickup, Kevin Smith, is looking like a GENIUS move, as the powers that be in Detroit have finally figured out that Rudi Johnson is old and in the way. Sorry Rudi, but yr time has come and gone...

And Saints WR Marques Colston finally had a big game this weekend, after suffering a broken thumb through most of the season. If I can get my other two WRs on track, I feel confident in saying that our beloved ROUGH RYDERS are gonna be tough to beat, and have a solid chance of winning the FICL championship...

Speaking of the Saints, I picked up Jeremy Shockey to play for my usual starter, Chris Cooley, who had a BYE this week. Shockey caught two passes for a total of 16 yards, which means he was a total bust. I didn't see the Saints game, but supposedly Shockey was his usual dickish self, screaming at his QB, Drew Brees both on the field and sidelines during the game. I never liked Shockey, but thought in the Saints powerful offense, he'd have a solid game. I was wrong. The dude half-asses everything. No hustle, shitty hands, and a piss-poor attitude...What was I thinking? Again, I'm very glad I didn't need better numbers from him to win this week...Anyways, I'm very glad to have Cooley back in the lineup next week. Adios, douchebag Shockey!

Finally, my defensive unit continues to play well. Of note, beloved Green Bay Packer Nick Collins intercepted a ball which he ran back for a TD...Great stuff, even though the Packers eventually lost to the hated Minnesota Vikings...Man, that sucked. The Vikings are not a very good football team, and yet they sit atop the NFC Central right now. That's fucked up.

Anyways, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are now 8-2, and sitting precariously in first place in the FICL...Onward to Week Eleven, and the always dangerous NEST OF DEATH...This one should be a barnburning nail-biter...Stay tuned!

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Seven

Another week, another victory for our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS, who stomped and squished the BUGMANIACS. We are now 5-2 in the FICL, and in second place in the standings. Barring a total team collapse in the next 2-4 weeks, I would think a spot in the playoffs is all but assured at this point. Of course, most of my stud players still have BYE weeks coming up, so anything is possible.

Anything is possible, and if you don't believe me, take a look at the final score up above, and notice how both teams woefully underscored their projected totals. In the case of the ROUGH RYDERS, I can only point to all of my studs - "Fucking Cuts" Cutler, Frank Gore, and my entire WR corps of Terrell Owens, Marques Colston, and Greg Jennings.

Cutler had his first truly questionable outing of the year, and he still put up 30 FP, which says more about the FICL's crazy scoring system than it does about Cutler's studliness.

Gore simply got shut down by the Giants, one of the better defenses in the NFL...Still, 11 yards on 11 catches is abysmal for any running back, and especially a dependable monster like Gore.

Terrell Owens has all but disappeared in the Cowboys' offense lately, and if you don't think that factors into the Cowboys losing three of their last four games (two of those losses against the middling Cardinals and the inept Rams), then you probably don't follow football very closely, and think TO is just being his usual primadonna self when he bitches about this fact. These are trying times in Dallas, and if they lose either one of their two games before the BYE, I won't say their playoff chances are gone, but I think it will help foster a really toxic Cowboys clubhouse. Anyways, TO has caught a paltry 8 catches in the last 3 games, and nobody's gonna win many games when a player the calibre of Owens isn't getting the ball...

Marques Colston was active this week for the first time since Week One, and while he played most of the game, did not catch a single pass. I didn't see the New Orleans-Carolina game, so I don't know if he dropped any balls, or if Brees simply didn't throw in Colston's direction...There are alot of weapons on that offense, so it's easy to get lost in the shuffle, but now that Reggie Bush is out for the season with a knee injury, my only hope is that Colston factor's more in that offense moving forward. If there's one player I need on my team right now to step it up and contribute, it's definitely #12.

Greg Jennings wasn't really needed in this week's Packers defeat over the Colts, but of course if would have been nice to see him catch more than 3 balls for a tepid 30 yards. He's the leading yardage receiver in the NFL for a reason, and it ain't because of a bunch of dink passes. Anyways, Jennings and the Packers have their BYE this next Sunday, and right now it looks like I'll be starting Greg "Brillo" Camarillo, who was my best WR this week while sitting on the bench...

Otherwise, my team did fine...Thomas "Green Moses" Jones had another stellar week of rushing, and Jonathan Stewart, whom the shifty oracles of Yahoo! Sports kept saying was Questionable this week because of some undiagnosed illness, had another worthy day on the field. Yahoo! has proven time and again, this year more than in years past, that their coverage and analysis of NFL football is absolutely fucking horrible...

Here's a prime example - they suggested I bench James Harrison in favor of Omar Gaither, nevermind that Gaither was on BYE this week and Harrison is the NFL sack leader at the moment and earning just about every penny of his huge contract from the Steelers...

Finally, Chris Cooley had a fairly quiet game this week, and as far as I know, didn't accidentally post more pictures of his sausage on his personal blog. It's a good thing our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are winning this year, because otherwise I'd be starved for excitement and silliness on my team right now.

Onward, to Week Eight, when we'll be taking on THE HAIRY NIPPLES, who are currently sporting a 2-5 record, soon to be 2-6...

Unless it all goes to hell this week, which could happen, because in the world of fantasy football, anything can happen at any time...

For example, how badly did Fucking Cuts Cutler hurt his hand last night?

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Six

This week's victory over THE DOUG FLUTIES had more to do with their underperformance than our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS own performance, which was slightly underwhelming itself. Nevertheless, a win is a win, and we are now 4-2 in the FICL.

Terrell Owens continues to disappoint, and now that Cowboys' QB Tony Romo is out for 4 weeks with a broken finger, who knows to what depths TO's uselessness will go...Even with former Lion WR Roy Williams being traded to Dallas, I don't have much hope of things improving. New QB starter Brad Johnson doesn't inspire any hope in me, and you might think the addition of Williams is a good thing, but I'm here to tell you that the dude is one of the most overrated WRs in the NFL. I couldn't tell you how many dropped passes I've witnessed from the man over the past 3 years...Some people say he's an elite WR, but some people are fucking morons.

On the bright side, the Saint's WR Marques Colston should be back in the ROUGH RYDERS' lineup in the next week or two from the thumb injury that has sidelined him through the first six weeks. And still, I feel like we're thin at the WR position, and the pickings are slim on the free agency wire.

The story this week, however, is New York Jets' RB Thomas Jones, who scored THREE touchdowns in their victory over the Bengals. I watched that game, and what I don't understand is why the Jets don't utilize Jones more than they have so far this season. He's proven to be a solid, dependable RB, and yet, they continue to use Leon Washington far too much in my mind. Washington is an adequate change-of-pace back, but I don't believe he's good enough to warrant the amount of time he gets in any given game. Still, I can't bitch too much, at least they're using Jones more than they did last year.

LB Nick Barnett continues to disappoint, and I finally had to pull the plug on him this week and send him to free agency. As a Green Bay Packer die-hard, I naturally watch every game, and it seems to me that Barnett has lost a step, or maybe even two steps, in the early part of this season. Where once he was the first hitter, and one of the guys at the bottom of any given pile, nowadays he's one of those guys who runs up to stand over the pile when the play is whistled dead, like a fucking cornerback, you know? It's sad.

Quentin Jammer had a big game this weekend, shutting down Randy Moss, and deflecting about 6 passes during the game. What a great DB...

Chris Cooley and his sausage had another solid game this week, though he didn't catch any TD passes, and he didn't accidently expose himself again. Oh well.

As far as my own brand of brilliance is concerned, I picked up Broncos' WR Brandon Stokley at the last minute, and he caught a touchdown pass for me, which was excellent. If he hadn't suffered his 10th concussion this Sunday, he may have caught more than 3 passes, but I'm not bitching.

I also grabbed the New Orleans Saints team Defense at the last minute, since Pittsburgh had a BYE this week, and they performed exactly how I expected them to against the fairly anemic Oakland Raiders offense. I had been carrying the Jacksonville Jaguar defense all season, but at the last minute didn't feel like having my QB Jay "Fucking Cuts" Cutler going up against my own team defense, so...

Like I said at the top, this week's victory over THE DOUG FLUTIES is attributable to their complete and utter underperformance...In fact, only two of their players, QB Aaron Rodgers (Green Bay Packer, huzzah!) and Cleveland DB Eric Wright exceeded the predictions of the completely inept Yahoo! Fantasy Football Oracles...

So, after six weeks of exciting FICL fantasy football action, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are in second place with a record of 4-2. Next week, we face the 1-5 BUGMANIACS, but don't let that rotten record fool ya - this might very well be one of those so-called "trap games"...At the moment, we're only favored by 5 FP, which is a blip in a high scoring league like this one, and BUGMANIACS are capable of scoring huge if the luck goes his way just a little bit...

See you on the other side...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Five

Gloom! Despair! Anthony Gonzalez!

Our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS lost this weekend's fantasy football matchup against ChicagoBare'sAll by a score of 240.28 to 224.78, and I'm going to take the easy way out and blame Indianapolis Colt's WR Anthony Gonzalez...Well, and Peyton Manning...I mean, Manning finally threw more touchdowns than interceptions in a game, completing 25 passes in total...Unfortunately, only one of those receptions went to Gonzalez...It's tough to win any fantasy matchup when a WR is that inconsequential...

And speaking of wide receivers, it's tough to win when one of your opponents DL scores more points than all but one WR on either team...Patrick Willis was a tackling machine this weekend...

Otherwise, nothing really stands out in this week's contest...Sure, Frank Gore didn't meet expectations, but Chris Cooley and his sausage made up for that...

Nick Barnett continues to disappoint, and if he weren't a beloved Green Bay Packer, I'd certainly have dropped him by now...

In any event, we are now in the BYE week portion of the season, when finding adequate fill-ins becomes crucial, and just about anything can happen...I believe that if our beloved ROUGH RYDERS can escape the next four weeks with a 2-2 record, we will be in good position to make the league playoffs, when again, anything can happen, and everybody has a chance to win it all...

Perhaps I shouldn't be looking so far ahead, but I'm confident we've got the right team to make a run at the FICL title...

Our beloved ROUGH RYDERS are now 3-2, and next week we take on the always dangerous DOUG FLUTIES, managed by Thee Fractioneer, who beat us in last year's championship game...He doesn't have fucking Anquan Boldin to mess things up this year, so I feel confident that another victory is at hand.

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 86

Dazzling Killmen: Face Of Collapse: "In The Face Of Collapse" [mp3]

As I've been telling my coworkers lately, I'm glad that my family had a sizable vegetable garden when I was a kid, and I'm really glad that I was raised to hunt and fish, and I'm super glad that I learned all sorts of survival skills in the Boy Scouts...And I'm also grateful that my grandpa Frank told me stories about the Great Depression (about his American history in general), because I'm not sure how bad this economic meltdown is gonna get in the next few weeks and months and years, but I won't be surprised in the least if it all goes completely to hell, and we all are forced to hunt and gather to get by...We all laughed about Sarah Palin being able to field dress a moose just a month ago, and here we are...Who's laughing now? Who's gonna be laughing last?

LOL...

I'm exaggerating, of course, but then again, one only needs to Wiki "the Long Depression" and "the Great Depression" to get a flavor of the possible...

I think alot of us are currently in a fog regarding all that serious shit that's going down on Wall Street, and most of us are telling ourselves it can't happen here, but as those two links so clearly tell us, it certainly can happen here, and really, it's going to happen from time to time, and now's as good a time as any...

In fact, today's circumstances are alot like the circumstances of The Long Depression. Replace the overbuilding of railroads with the overbuilding of new homes, and the stories are just about the same...Crazy speculation by the big banks, plenty of fraud to go around, and a very select few, the "robber barons", those captains of industry, get crazy fucking rich, live like royalty, and generally rub it in everybody else's faces...In the midst of 24 years of economic turmoil among the working classes, this was "the gilded age", as Mark Twain called it, and doesn't it all look shiny and familiar?

It can happen here. It has happened here. It's gonna happen here, sooner or later. I don't know about you, but I'm gonna sight my compound bow this weekend, after the Packers game...

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week Three

Despite the victory, this week's fantasy football action was pretty damn boring. Our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS and their opponent, APPLESAUCE, underperformed at seemingly every position...Plus, Chris Cooley didn't accidentally post any pictures of his sausage on his blog, and James Farrior didn't give the finger to the Eagles' fans, though he probably should have flipped one to the Steelers' offensive line, who suck so bad right now that they couldn't keep my old high school's defense from running roughshod all over poor Ben Roethlisberger's ass...

BLACKHAWK FOOTBALL! WE DON'T REBUILD, WE RELOAD!

Anyways...Jay "Fucking Cuts" Cutler fell back to earth this week, which means he still put up damn good numbers. It would appear Denver wants to play high-scoring longball this year, and that's perfectly fine with me. "Cuts" is golden right now. "Cuts" is also a lame nickname, innit?

Terrell Owens...Sigh...In a perfect world, TO woulda had a huge game in a losing effort to my beloved GREEN BAY PACKERS...Instead, Charles Woodson shut down TO almost completely...If the ROUGH RYDERS would have lost this week, I'd be pissed at Terrell right now, but we won, so I won't worry for at least another week...If he has another subpar performance against the Redskins next Sunday, then I'll get pissed and weepy...

Speaking of the Packers, WR Greg Jennings continues to rack up the yardage, but has yet to score a touchdown...I predict he'll score twice next week in Tampa Bay...

Frank Gore had a damn fine game against the inept Detroit Lions, leading our beloved ROUGH RYDERS in scoring this week, with an impressive 53.2 FP...Right now, Gore may very well be the most dependable RB in the NFL, and in Mike Martz's potent offense, Gore can only get better...

McFadden? Stewart? Stewart? McFadden? At this point, I can pretty much flip-flop these two rookie RBs, as they're both sharing carries on their respective teams...Darren McFadden gets more carries and yardage, but Jonathan Stewart gets it at the goal line, and he's returning kicks...Stewart is probably the smarter choice at the moment, but McFadden is the one who is more likely to break out for a huge game, like he did in Week Two, when I had him on the bench...

Defensively, nothing out of the ordinary...James Harrison appears to either suck or shine, and this week, he sucked. Quentin Jammer was a good pick-up, as he appears to be a quick DB with a good nose for the ball...Marcus Trufant continues to disappoint...So does Nick Barnett...My defensive players are certainly something I'm going to be looking closely at through this BYE week part of the season...It would appear I'm "halfway there" right now, but I definitely gotta find a couple of diamonds in the free agency pool, because the difference could be an extra 10+ points a week, and every point counts in a high-scoring league like the FICL...

Anyways, our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS embarrassed APPLESAUCE this week by a score of 235.39 to 173.34, and it was never even close...

Onward, to Week Four and the undefeated BLACKANDBLUE team...I'm feeling pretty good right now about this matchup...BLACKANDBLUE is going dowwwwwwwn!

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS 2008: Week One

Well, babycakes, here we are - Week One of the 2008 NFL season, and therefore, Week One of exciting WINONA ROUGH RYDERS fantasy football action...

And yeah, there was some action, although I am sad to report that our beloved ROUGH RYDERS came up 3.83 FP short, thus losing our first game of the season...On the bright side, we exceeded projections, as projected by the shadowy peeps working at Yahoo!, while our opponents, Scarecrows, didn't quite meet their expectations...

3.83 FP...That's one more looong field goal from Stephen Gostkowski, but then again, the Patriots all but fell apart after Tom Brady went down with a season-ending knee injury...On a sidenote to this, I've got Randy Moss on my other fantasy team, The SUPER DOOM UNIT, and he didn't do anything of note after Brady went down either...

3.83 FP...That's just a couple more short-yardage catches from Marques Colston, except he fucked up his thumb at some point during that game, and now he's out for the next 6 weeks...That's a huge blow to my team, as he's a threat to go A-List legit this year, and my team is currently quite thin at wide receiver...In fact, my only backup is Anthony Gonzalez, the third or fourth option in the Colts' offense...I gotta make a decision here, whether to go fishin' for another receiver, or sacrifice one of my DBs...See, the thing is, we still have all the BYE weeks to navigate, and that doesn't leave much room for movement...

3.83 FP...That's a couple more completions and a couple more first downs for QB Ben Roethlisberger, but Pittsburgh and Fast Willie Parker (another member of The SUPER DOOM UNIT) had things very well under control, and Roethlisberger fucked up his shoulder a bit anyways, and only threw 14 passes the entire game, all of 'em in the first half, if I'm not mistaken...As you may remember, the Pittsburgh Steelers are my second favorite football team after the beloved GREEN BAY PACKERS, and as much as I like Big Ben, I've already decided I've gotta go with Jay Cutler as my starting QB until he proves me wrong...

3.83 FP...That's a couple more receptions from TE Owen Daniels...But the Houston Texans were going up against the Steelers DEF, so his underwhelming performance wasn't unexpected...Since I'm starting Jay Cutler next week, I might have to start Bronco TE Tony Scheffler as well....

3.83 FP...That's an aweful slim margin in a insanely high-scoring league like our FICL...The loss is bitter, of course, but for the most part, I was happy with my team's performance...I'm happy and I think I'm gonna be proud that I was able to snag RB Thomas Jones in the 8th round of the draft...All ten of us made a big mistake letting him last to the 73rd pick...As I think I mentioned in my draft notes, the additions of Alan Faneca and Brett Favre to the Jets' offense, is gonna help Jones running game open up and bounce back from his extremely disappointing 2007 season...Hold thumbs that he stays healthy, though it looks like I've got two capable backups in rookies Darren McFadden and Jonathan Stewart...

Finally, a big shout out to Steeler LB James Harrison, who put up a huge 16 FP, racking up 3 sacks, a forced fumble, 7 solo tackles and 2 assists...

Our beloved ROUGH RYDERS may have lost this week, but historically, we've lost more Week One games than we've won...Call it poor coaching...

Onward, to Week Two, and the formidable and historical NestOfDeath...No one gets out alive from that one...

Hotcha! Hank

Yeah, But It's A Dry Cold

Well, the unexpectedly amazing Green Bay Packers season has come to an end, one game short of the Super Bowl, with their heartbreaking 23-20 overtime loss to the New York Giants last night at Lambeau Field. The frozen tundra. Home of the Ice Bowl. Etc.

The temperature on the field at gametime was hovering right around zero, with windchills around 20-25 below zero. I tried to send some positive mojo to my beloved team in Green Bay by brushing the snow off my car in the driveway wearing only my Meat Puppets t-shirt, which is quite threadbare after 20 years, but apparently it wasn't quite enough mojo.

It would appear Bart Starr was trying to give some of his own potent brand of Packer mojo to Brett Favre, but even his mojo wasn't enough. No, there's not enough mojo in the whole state of Wisconsin to overcome one of Favre's inexplicable passes into coverage. Packerland lives and dies by Favre's right arm and left brain hemisphere, and last night we died, every last bitterly cold one of us.

It was a hard fought game under extreme circumstances, to be sure, but there were few highlights by either team. Ryan Grant, the best running back in the NFL in the second half of the season, who ran for 201 yards against the Seahawks just a week ago, was shut down by a now-formidable Giants defense. Indeed, the only real Packer highlight was Favre's 90 yard TD pass to Donald Driver in the second quarter, a new franchise post-season record.

Oh yeah, and the monster hit Atari Bigby (Winona Rough Ryders, holla!) put on Plaxico Burress. Fuckin' A!

Anyways, it's over, it's done. Most likely jinxed by the local media and their whole RETURN TO GLORY angle, which pre-supposed that the Packers would not only go to the Super Bowl, but actually beat the Patriots when they did. If we had Hines Ward on our team, well yeah, then I would have agreed.

But what the fuck do I know? Before the season started, I predicted the Packers would go 6-10 to finish third in the NFC North.

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS: Week Sixteen

And here we are...

The last four months have been leading directly to this weekend - the APFL Championship game pitting our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS against the respected, but never feared, JUST ANOTHER TEAM (managed by Thee Fractioneer, Jeff)...And as you can see (by clicking to enlarge the above scorecard), I am heartbroken to announce that our beloved ROUGH RYDERS lost this weekend, thus finishing the season in second place...Runner-up to the champions...Silver medallist...Bridesmaid...Also-ran...

In previous posts I've mentioned my 50/50 Idiot:Genius Ratio™ , and this week I'm sad to report that the idiot half of that equation reared its ugly head again, and had direct and dire consequences towards the outcome of this championship matchup...

In a nutshell, I had my usual two positions to fret about - the WR3 position, and the W/R "flex" position, which can be filled by either a WR or RB...

In that WR3 position, I had a choice between Kevin Curtis, Bernard Berrian, Patrick Crayton, Lee Evans, and Calvin Johnson...Bernard Berrian, as good as he was for me on many weekends throughout the season at that WR3 position, was definitely not a contender anymore, not since Kyle Orton became starting QB in Chicago...Patrick Crayton wasn't in the running either, mostly because he's been amazingly inconsistent all year, but also because in the Dallas games I've seen this year, the dude's got questionable catching skills, which oddly enough are supremely important to wide receivers in the NFL...Add the idea that Tony Romo is head over heals in love with Jessica Simpson's boobs and playing with a head full of boobtastic distractions right now, benching Crayton yet again wasn't a hard decision...Then there's Kevin Curtis, who has proven himself to be an all or nothing kind of player - either having a huuuuuuuuge game, or sitting quietly by while Donovan McNabb is getting chased all over the backfield by ferocious linebackers...I decided not to take that chance...Which leaves Lee Evans and Calvin Johnson...

I had Lee Evans in that WR3 slot all week. He's a UW grad, first of all, and I'd argue that if he were on just about any other team, he'd be a bonafide NFL superstar right now. The problem is, he plays for the Buffalo Bills, who have a fairly crappy O-line and a revolving door of two QBs (Losman, Edwards) neither of whom are really quite good enough to start in the NFL...Considering all of this, I benched Evans about 15 minutes before game-time on Sunday, and started Calvin Johnson instead...

Ahhh, good ol' Megatron...The guy's a rookie, so there are always some tempered expectations...Yet I drafted him in the 8th round, and had him pencilled into my WR3 slot in the pre-season, expecting him to have a good rookie season as the #2 WR in Detroit behind Roy Williams, a guy I've had on the ROUGH RYDERS in a past season, and who I would consider a major disappointment, and not as good a player as most people think...Roy Williams drops way too many balls to ever be an elite receiver in the NFL...Anyways, at the last minute this weekend, I decided to start Calvin Johnson in my WR3 slot because of some sort of weak-willed draft-day nostalgia, and the fact that Roy Williams is injured and Megatron is ostensibly the #1 WR in a very pass-happy offense...Playing at home...In a dome...Against a pretty sucktacular KC Chief defense...

So, what happens? Megatron goes off for 2 catches for 47 yards, and 2 more rushing yards for a grand total of 6.9FP...Meanwhile, Lee Evans has 3 catches for 43 yards, but he does manage to make one of those three catches count, ending with 14.3 FP on my bench...

Joining him on my bench was Kevin Curtis - 6 catches, 76 yards and a TD, plus another fumble recovery for a TD = 25.8 FP...Patrick Crayton - 7 catches, 65 yards = 15.3 FP...Bernard Berrian - 1 catch, 4 yards = 2.7FP...

Essentially, I started all the wrong WRs this weekend, as my other two, Hines Ward and Chad Johnson, both had worse games than everybody but Berrian...In the end, what can I say? Ward and Johnson are starting no matter what...

But back to that Chiefs-Lions game, and my second decision of the week, that W/R "flex" position...Now, I've already mentioned all those receivers and their performances, and any of them could have been slotted in at W/R, plus RBs Marshawn Lynch and Kevin Jones were possible starters here...

Again, all week long I had Marshawn Lynch starting at W/R...He's much more consistent than any of my receivers this year, and as a rookie, has played well enough...Plus, he was my 6th round draft pick this year, slotted to be my RB2 for the season...But after two substandard performances in the previous two weeks, I opted to bench him 15 minutes before game time in favor of the Lions' Kevin Jones...Since acquiring him off waivers in Week Seven, Jones has absolutely alternated good and bad weeks, and this week he was scheduled to have a very good game, at home, in a dome, against a crappy Chiefs defense.

So what happens? Marshawn Lynch scores a touchdown and lights it up for 19.2 FP, while Kevin Jones tears his ACL sometime early in the 2nd quarter and finishes with a completely useless 4.1 FP...Worth noting is that TJ Duckett comes off the Lions' bench and rushes for 102 yards, a score, and 20.4 FP that likely would have been KJ's...Sigh...

So, did I make the wrong call here? With KJ going down early, who can say?

Elsewhere...

Tony Romo seemed slightly less distracted by his girlfriend's tits this week, but still only managed to throw one TD against a usually porous Carolina pass defense...12.87 FP...

Hines Ward caught six passes...Ben Roethlisberger threw three touchdowns...Neither of these two facts converged, leading our favorite Rough Ryder, Hines Ward, to a fairly tepid 11.9 FP...

Chad Johnson was a non-factor in a surprisingly low-scoring Bengals-Browns game...10 FP...

LaDainlian Tomlinson hit the sidelines early again this week when the Chargers' victory over the Broncos seemed assured...While a full game from LT may not have changed the outcome of the APFL Championship game, it does serve to illustrate once again how LT may have led my team in scoring for the season, but ultimately must be seen as a disappointment. He was the #1 pick in the entire draft, but was only marginally more productive than Romo (12th round pick), The Bears defense (5th round pick) and less productive than Ryan Grant once I grabbed him off Free Agency in Week Eleven. Long story short - it would have been nice if LT went off huge this week, for one last time, but instead only was allowed half a great game, and 19.4 FP from anybody else is good/great, but from The President is disappointing...

The Packers-Bears game figured somewhat heavily into our beloved Rough Ryders score this weekend...Lance Briggs was out with a hip injury, so I dropped him in favor of the Seahawks' Lofa Tatupu, who had a crappy game by his standards...3 FP, and that's all I'm gonna say...

Likewise, his teammate Marcus Trufant, who had a great game last week as a quick pickup starter, had an equally unimpressive 3 FP this week...Nuff said...

Back to the Packers - Atari Bigby was useless...2 FP against a Bears offense that relied heavily on the run...

Which meant, however, that Nick Barnett had another great, double-digit performance this week, ending with an impressive 11 FP...

Sadly, the Bears OWNED the Packers all day long, in every aspect of the game...Which was good and bad for our beloved Rough Ryders...The Bears intercepted two of Favre's passes, running one back for a TD, and blocked two Packer punts, running one back for a TD, which all helped me, as the Bears defense finished the game with 29.97 FP, which led my entire team...

Ryan Grant, my #2 RB, had the only Packer offensive highlight, tearing off a 66 yard TD run in the 2nd quarter, the Packers' only score of the game...Take that away, and his game was pretty crappy...In the end, his 17.9 FP was damn good (12.6 of 'em were on that one play though), and I'm certainly looking at him as a #2 draft pick next year...

And finally, cuz he's the kicker, and because the Packers offense sucked this Sunday, Mason Crosby had a lone PAT for a single, lousy 1 FP...Sigh...

So, what can be said on JUST ANOTHER TEAM's side of the matchup? Nothing much sticks out...

Anquan Boldin went HUUUUUGE for 41.2 FP on a weekend when he was supposedly still limping back from injury, and was expected to see limited action...This single performance might certainly be pointed at as the APFL Championship game-changer...Fuckin' Anquan...

Aaron Stecker has become an effective starter in New Orleans until Reggie Bush comes back, and likewise, Just Another Team Jeff (who has Bush on his team) wisely plugged him into his own lineup the past couple of weeks with great results...Like Bush, Stecker didn't have an outstanding game by any measure, but did plow ahead for two short yardage TDs early in the game, and finished with an excellent 24.4 FP...Once again, a Saint player on Just Another Team has mortally wounded me...To add insult to injury, I found myself using Aaron Stecker a couple of years ago when Deuce McCallister went down to injury, but Stecker never did much of anything that year, and I had to abandon him after 2-3 subpar performances on his part directly led to a couple of Rough Ryder losses...

Otherwise, nobody on Just Another Team had particularly outstanding performances, and Jeff himself made a couple of bad management decisions. Unfortunately for me, his mistakes weren't as costly in the end...

Which brings us to the end of this post, and the 2007 Winona Rough Ryders season. I may do another quick season recap in the near future, but for now, I am pleased to announce that:

Our beloved Winona Rough Ryders finished the 2007 APFL season with a record of 12-4, and after this sad, but not wholly unexpected, loss to JUST ANOTHER TEAM in the APFL Championship, I am excited and pleased to announce that OUR BELOVED WINONA ROUGH RYDERS finished 2nd in the APFL.

Congratulations to Thee Fractioneer (Jeff), and Just Another Team, this year's APFL Champions.

See ya in 2008!

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS: Week Fifteen

What an absolutely fucked up fantasy football weekend this was...In fact, it was perhaps the weirdest, wildest, most frustrating and most ecstatic fantasy football weekend I've ever been a part of...

First of all, our beloved Winona Rough Ryders defeated the scary good Vocal Removers (managed by Wino) by a fairly convincing 23 FP margin, and even though Yahoo! had my team slightly favored going into this weekend's semi-final matchup, it was hard to believe we would or could somehow triumph. Look at his roster - how do you compete against all those studs?

Well, the thing is, Wino's team's biggest strength (half of his starters are from two powerful offensive teams - the Patriots and Browns), is also it's biggest weakness, and eventually, Wino was bound to suffer through a weekend such as this, and I just happened to be the lucky one who faced him this particular weekend.

It was quite literally, a perfect storm for me, as heavy snow and winds visited both Cleveland and New England on Sunday, making those two powerful offenses much more vulnerable, much more beatable. The Buffalo-Cleveland game, in particular, was a mess. The heavy snow falling throughout most of the game rendered an 8-0 victory for the Browns in which there were no touchdowns scored. For his part, Jamal Lewis ran quite well for the Browns (and the Vocal Removers), but other than his solid performance, nearly everybody else was a bust by their usual standards.

This storm directly affected our beloved Rough Ryders as well, as two of my starters play for the Bills - WR Lee Evans and RB Marshawn Lynch. Since the weather didn't allow for any sort of passing attack, Evans in particular had a crappy game. Of course, the Bills' offense is so inconsistent that a crappy Evans outing might very well have happened in the best of weather, but I'm not here to take easy shots at Evans or Buffalo's woeful QB and O-line problems. Marshawn Lynch, on the other hand, had just about the most typical Marshawn Lynch game imaginable - 82 rushing yards and no touchdowns - so in retrospect, the snow in Cleveland didn't matter to my team as much as the Vocal Removers.

And then there was the snowtorm in New England, which from a fantasy perspective, didn't effect any of my players since I don't have any Patriots, and I don't think I've ever had a Jet player on any of my fantasy teams over the years...But the Vocal Removers were hugely affected by this storm. I would estimate that his three Patriots (Brady, Moss and Welker) typically contribute 60-80 FP to his team's score every week. This week, those three players were good for approximately 19 FP. Shit, Randy Moss has scored that many fantasy points by himself, in half a game. On more than one occasion.

So, you can see how loading a fantasy team with players from a particular team or two can really backfire, and sometimes at the worst possibly time...Like the semi-finals of the league playoffs. Let's be honest here - the way this season has played out, next week's APFL Championship game ought to be between the Vocal Removers and Just Another Team.

But here we are...

This weekend's matchup started with Vocal Remover's W/R Brandon Marshall in the Denver-Houston game on Thursday night (please, NFL, abandon these Thursday and Saturday games), and Marshall had a really good first half, amassing 21.7 FP, while being shut down (thankfully) in the second half...

So, our beloved Rough Ryders were already in a sizable hole from the git-go...

On Saturday, good ol' Chad Johnson was the first to play for the Rough Ryders, and he had a solid, if unspectacular day, and it got me nervous because he's supposed to be one of my studs, and he hasn't been studly often enough this year...13.8 FP from my team's #1 WR just ain't gonna get it done...

So, the early games arrive on Sunday, and I'm watching all those Browns and Patriots players struggling, and I'm sorta thinking at that point that I might really have a chance at squeaking out a victory.

And of course, at noon on Sunday, I'm watching the Green Bay Packers taking on the battered and bruised St. Louis Rams inside their DOME, and Ryan Grant starts off strong with an early TD run, but by the end of the game, he really hadn't done a whole lot...His 11 FP are half of his average this year.

But then there's Mason Crosby. He has become the defacto #1 kicker in the NFL this year, his rookie season, and this week, from a fantasy perspective, he had the best game of his young career, kicking three long field goals (among others) on his way to a total of 19 FP...Crosby gives me double digit scores almost every week, but 19 FP from a kicker is downright sick...If ever I needed a huge game from my kicker, it was this weekend.

And then there's the Packers' safety, Atari Bigby. I like Atari. He's a hardnosed tackler who can't cover very well, which is actually good in terms of fantasy football. Whenever he blows his coverage, or just doesn't cover a receiver well enough, he ends up having to tackle the player to make up for his own mistake. In fantasy football, I believe it's best to use IDPs (independent defensive players) who are tackling machines, and not turnover specialists...Atari Bigby will probably never be a great cover man or interception specialist (although he did have two INTs this weekend), but he will always get his handful of tackles, and that consistency is a godsend in the world of fantasy football.

So, Atari Bigby has the best game of his young career as well, ending up with 11 FP, and anytime a defensive player hits double digits, it's been a damn fine day. But then there's wily old Wino and his Vocal Removers, throwing a wrench into this DB2 matchup...Wino went out a day or two before the game and picked up the Rams' DB, Oshiomoghe Atogwe, and dammit if Atogwe didn't go out and have an almost identical game as Bigby. In fact, after both of Bigby's interceptions, Atogwe went out and got an INT of his own on the very next series of downs...It was so heartbreaking in its way, that all I could do was laugh...There I was thinking Bigby would handily win his direct matchup with Vocal Removers' Atogwe, and in the end Atogwe winds up with one more tackle than Bigby for one more FP...Weird, wild stuff, as Carson used to say...

And then there's Nick Barnett. Barnett amassed 17 FP this weekend, almost all of 'em tackles, and that's just outright heroic. I'm watching that Packers-Rams game, and Barnett's almost got me in tears, he's playing with such force and dominance. You see, linebacker has always always always been my favorite position in football, as they are generally the fiercest, hardest hitting players out on the field, and when a linebacker has the kind of overwhelming performance as Barnett had this Sunday, it reminds me again why I love the sport so much. And even when he's not dominating on the field, he is probably the single biggest reason why the Packers defense has established itself as one of the finest in the NFL...Nick Barnett is the spiritual leader of the defense, the direct counterpart to Brett Favre on offense, and he has inspired and elevated the play of everyone around him...

Oh yeah and by the way, Favre connected with Donald Driver on a 7 yard quick slant early in the 4th quarter of the game to pass Dan Marino as the career passing yardage leader in NFL history. Congrats to #4, now let's get back to the Super Bowl one more time...

Anyways, the point I'm finally trying to make is that the bottom half of my line-up scored more points than the top half of my line-up, and that almost never happens, and it's perhaps the real reason why our beloved Rough Ryders won this weekend. In fact, I'll go as far as saying that Nick Barnett is solely responsible for advancing us to the APFL Championship next weekend. That's just how HUGE and HEROIC his performance was this weekend.

As far as quote of the week...Who fucking knows, there's so many to choose from...The Packers-Rams game on FOX featured Kenny Albert and Daryl Johnston in the booth, and Tony Siragusa roaming the sidelines, and these three nutbags were out of their minds on several occasions...It all started with Kenny Albert's "nuggets" which are just little fun facts and trivia that he unloads from time to time during games, and of course, before long double entendre jokes about "Kenny's nuggets" started being thrown around with abandon...And they, just, wouldn't, let, it, die...I will let it die, and share two non-nugget quips...

"Nick Barnett likes to backdoor...(loooooooooooooooong pause)...on those plays alot."
-Daryl Johnstone commenting on Barnett's propensity for weak-side blitzing

"Sorry, he's the other guy. Lotta guys on the field out there."
-Tony Siragusa, one of the most useless football commentators alive, after identifying the wrong player THREE TIMES in one comment

Anyways, that's more than enough pointless rambling for one fantasy football post. Pointless rambling that doesn't really do justice to all the fantastic and unexpected action of this weekend...

And so, once again, I am stoked to announce that our beloved Winona Rough Ryders are now 12-3, and will be playing for the APFL crown next weekend against the daunting Just Another Team...Will miracles happen again? Stay tuned.

Hotcha! Hank

ROUGH RYDERS: Week Twelve

OCHO-CINCO!!!!!

Chad Johnson EXPLODED for 12 catches, 103 yards, and 3 touchddowns this weekend, something he should have been doing since Week Two, but whatcha gonna do? After his first TD catch of the game, #85 went and manned a TV camera in the back of the endzone, and it really wasn't clever or particularly funny, but what was interesting to me what the palpable disdain the FOX NFL crew has for the guy. Terry, Howie and Jimmy really have nothing good to say about the guy...I don't really either, to be honest, but hey, he scored 40.3 FP for me this weekend, so I'll just keep my mouth shut.

WEEK TWELVE was Thanksgiving Week, and on Thursday six of my fourteen players hit the gridiron...I'm happy to report that my beloved Green Bay Packers defeated the Detroit Lions, and in the process, recent phenom Ryan Grant had a great game, running for 101 yards and a TD, and catching a half-dozen clutch passes. Of course, when one of my guys does this, they're "clutch" catches, but when somebody else's guy does it, I call 'em "Garbage Man". Reggie Bush comes to mind...Anyways, Ryan Grant was the best of my three RBs this weekend...Once again, LaDainian Tomlinson had a solid game, but certainly disappointing by his own standards...Kevin Jones had a pretty good game himself, but I didn't play him out of respect to the Packers' defense.

Elsewhere, and speaking of garbage, Jacksonville's defense shut down Lee Evans, who's disgusting 3.9 FP came in the closing minutes of a lost game...

Tony Gonzalez was kinda lame as well...7.8 FP was certainly a letdown, though I should probably cut Gonzo some slack because he's been dependable all season, and is currently the 4th most productive TE in the NFL...Plus, I didn't need a big game from him this week...

Meanwhile, Bernard Berrian was silent for almost all of the Bears-Broncos game, and then BAM! the dude extends himself out, leaning leaning leaning out, snagging the ball as he falls and drags those toes...TOUCHDOWN!!!! Fantasy redemption in the closing seconds for me, and tying their game that they would eventually win in OT...

As much as I don't like the Chicago Bears, they do provide their fair share of fantasy points for me...Berrian is reliable for double digit FP production every week, which makes him a viable WR3 or Flex play every week, and their defense might not be as dominant as it was the past 2-3 years, but in fairness to them, they've been riddled with injuries to some of their best defensive players, and the Bears half-inept offense has put the defense in bad places all season long...But then, there's Devin Hester, who's already a shoe-in for the NFL Hall-Of-Fame in only his second season...His return abilities are bona-fide...Chicago's Defense contributed 30.07 FP to the Rough Ryders' cause, and Hester's 2 TD returns and the accompanying yardage were responsible for more than half that FP total...But the defense also forced a fumble, and intercepted a pass, and blocked a punt...And had 3 or 4 sacks...Not a bad day, all around...They may not be the elite defense right now, but they're dependable, and exciting, and I've also got Lance Briggs in my lineup, and he's just as dependable...He forced that fumble, and added four tackles...

I may not like the Bears, but I do respect them...That's the thing about the Packers-Bears rivalry...There's really not much animosity there anymore...I think you'd have to go back to Charles Martin's late-hit body-slam on Jim McMahon sometime back in the mid-80's to find the hate between the teams and the fans...But the Bears have always been scrappy underdogs of a sort that Packer fans can relate to...Blue collar...Midwestern men playing a hard game in the freezing cold and wind and snow in the late weeks when the games mean the most...And the Bears history goes back just as far as the Packers' history does, and there's alot of greatness in their story - Papa Bear Halas, Dick Butkus, Gail Sayers, Walter Payton, Mike Singletary, Mike Ditka...I dislike the Bears, and sometimes I even hate 'em, but I do respect 'em...

When the Vikings still played outdoors, we (Packer & Bear fans) already didn't like 'em, but when they moved their circus indoors, they lost all respect...There has never been a Viking on the Rough Ryders roster, and there never will be...This includes Adrian Peterson...

Oh, and the Detroit Lions? Well, they've played in a dome forever as well, so there's really no respect there either...But then, they never win, and I got drunk and had a bitchin' fun night in Las Vegas with a trio of Lions' fans on Super Bowl Sunday in 1997, when the Packers won their 3rd Super Bowl, so I don't hate the Lions...I just feel sorry for 'em, really, and I think that's how most Packer fans feel...

And that's my quick take on the NFC central, as a Packer fan, an insider of sorts...

I guess I'll finish off this week's recap by mentioning that Hines Ward had a fairly solid game in the swamps of Pittsburgh on Monday night...I didn't see the game, but it was delayed by lightning, and Heinz Field had been used extensively in the previous couple of weeks for high school playoff games and then the rains came...They resodded the field the day before, but it was an absolute fucking mess...Such a fucking mess that Jeff Reed kicked a field goal with about 17 seconds left on the clock to lift the Steelers to a 3-0 victory over the absolutely and inexcusably inept Miami Dolphins...I don't think I've ever had a Dolphin on my team either...

Anyways, Hines Ward caught a bunch of short passes, which is 100% Wardish...Hinesian...I would have liked to have seen that game, but I refuse to give Charter Comm any more money than I already do...

After twelve weeks, I am proud and happy to announce that the beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are now 9-3, and sitting comfortably alone in 3rd place in the APFL...

Next week is the final regular season matchup before the APFL playoffs begin, and our beloved ROUGH RYDERS are facing the outmanned and outgunned Team Excelsior...If the APFL situation doesn't change, and I don't believe that it can or will, we will be facing Team Excelsior again in the first round of the playoffs, so looking ahead to the semi-finals, it looks like a 3rd game, a rubbermatch, against Just Another Team, a team that I respect, but do not fear...

And finally, a respectful RIP to Redskins' saftety Sean Taylor, who was shot and killed by a home intruder this past week...

Hotcha! Hank