ROUGH RYDERS: Week Fifteen

What an absolutely fucked up fantasy football weekend this was...In fact, it was perhaps the weirdest, wildest, most frustrating and most ecstatic fantasy football weekend I've ever been a part of...

First of all, our beloved Winona Rough Ryders defeated the scary good Vocal Removers (managed by Wino) by a fairly convincing 23 FP margin, and even though Yahoo! had my team slightly favored going into this weekend's semi-final matchup, it was hard to believe we would or could somehow triumph. Look at his roster - how do you compete against all those studs?

Well, the thing is, Wino's team's biggest strength (half of his starters are from two powerful offensive teams - the Patriots and Browns), is also it's biggest weakness, and eventually, Wino was bound to suffer through a weekend such as this, and I just happened to be the lucky one who faced him this particular weekend.

It was quite literally, a perfect storm for me, as heavy snow and winds visited both Cleveland and New England on Sunday, making those two powerful offenses much more vulnerable, much more beatable. The Buffalo-Cleveland game, in particular, was a mess. The heavy snow falling throughout most of the game rendered an 8-0 victory for the Browns in which there were no touchdowns scored. For his part, Jamal Lewis ran quite well for the Browns (and the Vocal Removers), but other than his solid performance, nearly everybody else was a bust by their usual standards.

This storm directly affected our beloved Rough Ryders as well, as two of my starters play for the Bills - WR Lee Evans and RB Marshawn Lynch. Since the weather didn't allow for any sort of passing attack, Evans in particular had a crappy game. Of course, the Bills' offense is so inconsistent that a crappy Evans outing might very well have happened in the best of weather, but I'm not here to take easy shots at Evans or Buffalo's woeful QB and O-line problems. Marshawn Lynch, on the other hand, had just about the most typical Marshawn Lynch game imaginable - 82 rushing yards and no touchdowns - so in retrospect, the snow in Cleveland didn't matter to my team as much as the Vocal Removers.

And then there was the snowtorm in New England, which from a fantasy perspective, didn't effect any of my players since I don't have any Patriots, and I don't think I've ever had a Jet player on any of my fantasy teams over the years...But the Vocal Removers were hugely affected by this storm. I would estimate that his three Patriots (Brady, Moss and Welker) typically contribute 60-80 FP to his team's score every week. This week, those three players were good for approximately 19 FP. Shit, Randy Moss has scored that many fantasy points by himself, in half a game. On more than one occasion.

So, you can see how loading a fantasy team with players from a particular team or two can really backfire, and sometimes at the worst possibly time...Like the semi-finals of the league playoffs. Let's be honest here - the way this season has played out, next week's APFL Championship game ought to be between the Vocal Removers and Just Another Team.

But here we are...

This weekend's matchup started with Vocal Remover's W/R Brandon Marshall in the Denver-Houston game on Thursday night (please, NFL, abandon these Thursday and Saturday games), and Marshall had a really good first half, amassing 21.7 FP, while being shut down (thankfully) in the second half...

So, our beloved Rough Ryders were already in a sizable hole from the git-go...

On Saturday, good ol' Chad Johnson was the first to play for the Rough Ryders, and he had a solid, if unspectacular day, and it got me nervous because he's supposed to be one of my studs, and he hasn't been studly often enough this year...13.8 FP from my team's #1 WR just ain't gonna get it done...

So, the early games arrive on Sunday, and I'm watching all those Browns and Patriots players struggling, and I'm sorta thinking at that point that I might really have a chance at squeaking out a victory.

And of course, at noon on Sunday, I'm watching the Green Bay Packers taking on the battered and bruised St. Louis Rams inside their DOME, and Ryan Grant starts off strong with an early TD run, but by the end of the game, he really hadn't done a whole lot...His 11 FP are half of his average this year.

But then there's Mason Crosby. He has become the defacto #1 kicker in the NFL this year, his rookie season, and this week, from a fantasy perspective, he had the best game of his young career, kicking three long field goals (among others) on his way to a total of 19 FP...Crosby gives me double digit scores almost every week, but 19 FP from a kicker is downright sick...If ever I needed a huge game from my kicker, it was this weekend.

And then there's the Packers' safety, Atari Bigby. I like Atari. He's a hardnosed tackler who can't cover very well, which is actually good in terms of fantasy football. Whenever he blows his coverage, or just doesn't cover a receiver well enough, he ends up having to tackle the player to make up for his own mistake. In fantasy football, I believe it's best to use IDPs (independent defensive players) who are tackling machines, and not turnover specialists...Atari Bigby will probably never be a great cover man or interception specialist (although he did have two INTs this weekend), but he will always get his handful of tackles, and that consistency is a godsend in the world of fantasy football.

So, Atari Bigby has the best game of his young career as well, ending up with 11 FP, and anytime a defensive player hits double digits, it's been a damn fine day. But then there's wily old Wino and his Vocal Removers, throwing a wrench into this DB2 matchup...Wino went out a day or two before the game and picked up the Rams' DB, Oshiomoghe Atogwe, and dammit if Atogwe didn't go out and have an almost identical game as Bigby. In fact, after both of Bigby's interceptions, Atogwe went out and got an INT of his own on the very next series of downs...It was so heartbreaking in its way, that all I could do was laugh...There I was thinking Bigby would handily win his direct matchup with Vocal Removers' Atogwe, and in the end Atogwe winds up with one more tackle than Bigby for one more FP...Weird, wild stuff, as Carson used to say...

And then there's Nick Barnett. Barnett amassed 17 FP this weekend, almost all of 'em tackles, and that's just outright heroic. I'm watching that Packers-Rams game, and Barnett's almost got me in tears, he's playing with such force and dominance. You see, linebacker has always always always been my favorite position in football, as they are generally the fiercest, hardest hitting players out on the field, and when a linebacker has the kind of overwhelming performance as Barnett had this Sunday, it reminds me again why I love the sport so much. And even when he's not dominating on the field, he is probably the single biggest reason why the Packers defense has established itself as one of the finest in the NFL...Nick Barnett is the spiritual leader of the defense, the direct counterpart to Brett Favre on offense, and he has inspired and elevated the play of everyone around him...

Oh yeah and by the way, Favre connected with Donald Driver on a 7 yard quick slant early in the 4th quarter of the game to pass Dan Marino as the career passing yardage leader in NFL history. Congrats to #4, now let's get back to the Super Bowl one more time...

Anyways, the point I'm finally trying to make is that the bottom half of my line-up scored more points than the top half of my line-up, and that almost never happens, and it's perhaps the real reason why our beloved Rough Ryders won this weekend. In fact, I'll go as far as saying that Nick Barnett is solely responsible for advancing us to the APFL Championship next weekend. That's just how HUGE and HEROIC his performance was this weekend.

As far as quote of the week...Who fucking knows, there's so many to choose from...The Packers-Rams game on FOX featured Kenny Albert and Daryl Johnston in the booth, and Tony Siragusa roaming the sidelines, and these three nutbags were out of their minds on several occasions...It all started with Kenny Albert's "nuggets" which are just little fun facts and trivia that he unloads from time to time during games, and of course, before long double entendre jokes about "Kenny's nuggets" started being thrown around with abandon...And they, just, wouldn't, let, it, die...I will let it die, and share two non-nugget quips...

"Nick Barnett likes to backdoor...(loooooooooooooooong pause)...on those plays alot."
-Daryl Johnstone commenting on Barnett's propensity for weak-side blitzing

"Sorry, he's the other guy. Lotta guys on the field out there."
-Tony Siragusa, one of the most useless football commentators alive, after identifying the wrong player THREE TIMES in one comment

Anyways, that's more than enough pointless rambling for one fantasy football post. Pointless rambling that doesn't really do justice to all the fantastic and unexpected action of this weekend...

And so, once again, I am stoked to announce that our beloved Winona Rough Ryders are now 12-3, and will be playing for the APFL crown next weekend against the daunting Just Another Team...Will miracles happen again? Stay tuned.

Hotcha! Hank