C-C-C-C-C-Cocaine!

I'm totally bored at work today, which is a rare thing actually, because I'm usually rather busy. I'm pretty sure I'm not busy today because I kicked so much ass yesterday, and not only got everything done that I needed to do, but actually got some tasks done in advance, so who knows, I may be totally bored at work for the rest of the week. I should probably take a vacation day or two, especially since I've got 200 hours of vacation time accumulated at the moment.

So, being as fucking bored as I am this afternoon, I found myself trolling some celebrity blogs, where I ran across yet another picture of Miley Cyrus flashing the paps her trademark peace sign, which really annoys the fucking hell outta me for reasons I don't know, and believe me, I've spent waaaaaaaaaaay more time than I ever should thinking about why it pisses me off.

Anyways, while staring at this picture, I realized that all of Miley's fingernails are chewed down to the nub, except for the pinky finger on her right hand (I think it's a fake nail, but whatever). Now, back in the day, it was fashionable for cokeheads to grow one (or both) of their pinky fingernails long so that they could easily scoop up a healthy pile of that marching powder for sniffing, and I'm here today to posit the idea that Miley Cyrus herself, all 15 or 16 years of her, is a cokehead.

And why not? What else is she going to spend her $700 million fortune on, if not expensive drugs? Besides, her dad is Billy Ray Cyrus, who is an absolute tool with even less talent than Miley herself. If I were Ms. Cyrus, I'd be taking even harder drugs than cocaine, that's for sure. Hell, I'm so bored right now, a little coke would be a godsend.

God, are you there? It's me, Hank. Could you drop an 8-ball on my desk while I go get another Sunny D outta the vending machine?

Ach, who am I kidding...God doesn't share his stash.

Ach, who am I kidding...God doesn't exist. If s/he did, we wouldn't have to look at fucking Miley Cyrus flashing us that fucking peace sign all the time, and coke would be more affordable.

Hotcha! Hank