02 June 2010

Wishing Sideways Well Maneuver

One time I threw a silver dollar in a fountain somewhere in Minneapolis and wished to someday marry my girlfriend at that time. It was 1985. I was nineteen/stupid/high. Three months later she broke up with me and moved to South Dakota with her best friend. She's on Facebook, but that's as much as I care. I'd never socialize with her on this or any other network.

Another time I threw about 63ยข in a wishing well in Reno and got food poisoning from the Circus Circus buffet later that day. I had wished for "at least enough money to fix the broken CV joint on the stationwagon". Instead I lost a couple hundred bucks at the tables before fixing the wagon outta pocket and hitting the open roads...Interestingly enough, that wish actually came mostly true about a week later, when I won $400 at a craps table in Las Vegas.

And then there was the wish I made while blowing out the candles on my 16th birthday cake, some chocolate affair baked up by my high school sweetheart, who would break up with me about a year later. My wish that day had nothing to do with her, however. That particular wish was a fairly existential wish, and so far, after nearly 30 years, I would have to say it has come true and remained true. To tell you that wish now, and here, would certainly be flirting with disaster.

Anyways, I've never really liked "the beach". I looooove "the coastline" from a viewable distance, like driving up and down the Pacific Coast Highway, but I don't like sunbathing and the first time I ever swam in the ocean, summer of '75, I got stung by a jellyfish. Plus, that girlfriend I wished to marry? The first time we had sex was on a moonlit Flagler Beach, FLA...

Nah, don't care for beaches, and besides, I loathe men in sandals and/or flip/flops, unless they're Korean.

Hotcha! Hank

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