2007 Laminated List # 1

Three weeks ago I posted the #2 on my Laminated List, Tina Fey, and if I waited three weeks to post my #1 lady, it's probably because most of you already know who she is, so the whole thing is anti-climatic.

But it really took three weeks because my internet connection has been intermittent at best, and I've been preparing for this Sunday's fantasy football draft and napping.

Anyways, Winona Ryder has been #1 on my Laminated List since 1989's Heathers. There wasn't anything particularly earthshattering about her turn as Veronica in that film, but in real life, the then-18-year-old Winona was talking about hip, smart things in interviews, etc. She loved the same bands I did (The Replacements, for example), and she was reading alot, apparently, or at least able to namedrop some pretty heavy titles and authors, including things like the Tao Te Ching (I am a Taoist, if asked to name my religion), and William S Burroughs. And for awhile she wore a "Free Peltier" button on her lapel, no matter what outfit she was sporting...In short, she was a young woman who seemed intellectually and aesthetically in tune with me. I considered the idea that it could all be nothing more than artifice, that Noni was just trying to look cool to guys and girls like me, but I didn't, and don't care.

I did care that she shoplifted, although I admit that I got nailed for shoplifting Sweet's "Love Is Like Oxygen" 7-inch from Kohl's Department Store when I was 12 years old, so I can't judge her, and if I could, I would certainly forgive her.

But, c'mon, the biggest reason she's been #1 on my Laminated List for 18 years is because I thought she was Hotcha! then, and still think she's Hotcha! now.

Winona Ryder is 100% HOT POOP, ya dig? She's my muse, and what I mean is that the only way I could ever have the opportunity to meet Winona, let alone the ideas of hot sexxx action and/or romantic love, is to accomplish something...anything...in my creative life...Become a celebrated author...Become a rockstar...Make a breakout indie film...

Or can you imagine if Kieth The Perpetual Teen somehow got syndicated, or became an internet sensation?

Actually, I can't even imagine that...

Anyways, I'm 41 years old, and I'm still doing the same things I did at 15...18...23...29...34...

I'm still making music, still writing all different sorts of things, still comic stripping, still trying to hear all the latest/hippest/most interesting music, still trying to see as many good/great films as I can (Fraternity Vacation notwithstanding), blatherblatherblather...

Winona keeps me young, and she keeps me striving. I can't think of anything more important than that in a mate/friend/lover, real or imaginary.

I'll stop now.

Hotcha! Hank