ROUGH RYDERS: Week Eight

Let me start this week's ROUGH RYDER Recap by quoting Wayne Larrivee from The Packer's Radio Network, and his call of the final play in Green Bay's overtime victory over the Denver Broncos last night.

"EIGHTY YARDS AND A DAGGER IN THE HEART OF THE MILE HIGH CITY!!!!!"

Ahhh yes...On the first play from scrimmage in overtime, Brett Favre hooked up with WR Greg Jennings for a 80 yard TD pass, and the Packers defeated the Broncos 19-13 to improve their record to an improbable 6-1...Are the Packers for real? They're definitely the best team in the NFC Central, and only a complete meltdown in the second half of the season will keep them from the playoffs now...Yeah, we're flying high in Packerland this season...

But that's the NFL, and this is the APFL, and this week our beloved Rough Ryders started Jay Cutler, QB for those poor Broncos, and for his part, filled in quite well for Tony Romo, who was enjoying his BYE week by drinking whiskey out of the navel of his girlfriend, B-List actress, Sophia Bush. Cutler had a solid fantasy game (12.5 FP) in the loss to the Packers, so things worked out splendidly all around. Also, consider that I dropped my previous backup QB, Vince Young, a couple of weeks ago, and this week he produced a pathetic 2.5 fantasy points...Also, remember that Young was my third round draft pick, and Romo was a 12th rounder...I am an idiot and a genius all rolled into one, and professional football is a bitch.

Chad Johnson is a bitch, too. Those rumblings outta Cincinnati last week were Ocho-Cinco asking to be traded...The result - his most paltry performance of the season thus far, and a meager 10.10 FP...Good thing I'm pretty well-stocked at WR, cuz Johnson might end up on the bench before long...Man, how things can get fucked up sooooo fast...

Kevin Curtis and Bernard Berrian didn't do any better in my other two WR slots, and thankfully my fantasy opponent this week, The Roid Ragers, had four of his starters on BYE...I didn't see the Eagles game, but it appears it was all or nothing for Curtis this week, as he only had 3 catches, but they were good for 76 yards...Meanwhile, Brian Griese couldn't get the ball to Berrian either, and BB ended up with 4 lousy catches for 45 crappy yards.

Likewise, LaDainian Tomlinson and Marshawn Lynch were both disappointments at my RB positions...LT didn't crack 100 yards on the ground, and he had 1 catch for 1 yard, with no touchdowns in a 35 point blowout over the Texans...And Lynch was expected to ride roughshod all over Jets defense this weekend...Instead, he squeezed out his typical 80 yards and nothing more...Lynch will likely hit the bench next weekend, and Kevin Jones will get the nod cuz KJ outperformed both of my starters this week, rushing for 105 yards and a TD while sitting on the pines for me...

But then I've got Hines Ward starting in the flex position, and he had his biggest game of the year so far - 8 catches, 88 yards, and 2 touchdowns (and almost a third), to lead our beloved ROUGH RYDERS in FP this week with 28.8 FP...It would appear Hine's knee injury is a thing of the past, and moving forward, I look forward to him being Roethlisberger's most dependable target in Pittsburgh...Hell yeah! Let this be a lesson, Chad = Have fun, but quit yr bitchin' and play the fucking game.

Meanwhile, TE superstud Tony Gonzalez had a BYE this week, so about 10 minutes prior to kick-off, I grabbed the Bears' Greg Olsen out of Free Agency and plugged him into my starting lineup, and genius that I am half the time, Olsen ended up with Gonzalez-like numbers - 6 catches, 59 yards, and a touchdown - good for 17.9 FP and the second highest score in my starting lineup...

Once again the Bears' defense played fairly well in a low-scoring loss to the Detroit Lions...11.6 FP isn't stellar by their standards, but teams no longer kick the ball directly to return stud Devin Hester, and it has made all the difference lately...

Defensively, I've now got two Pittsburgh Steelers at DB - Ike Taylor and my main man, Troy Polamalu...Both were good for 5 FP, or "double nickels", which is cool because the Minutemen's Double Nickels On The Dime is oftentimes my favorite album of all-time, and sometimes that kind of tenuous connection is cool enough for me...Still, I'm seriously considering breaking up my Steelers DB tandem by picking up the Packers' Atari Bigby. He's an undrafted, unproven 2nd-year safety out of the University of Central Florida (huh?), and his name is Atari.

Lance Briggs had his usual good game, and thankfully I didn't need one of his brilliant games this week (here's hoping Week 9 is one of those), and Nick Barnett bordered on brilliant this week, as he usually does...For the record, an IDP that hits double digits in FP is "brilliant" to me...Barnett had 10 FP last night, but buy this morning, the Powers That Be in the NFL had taken away one of his tackles, lowering his tally to 9 FP...

But still...

"80 YARDS AND A DAGGER IN THE HEART OF THE MILE HIGH CITY!!!!!"

Oh yeah - Green Bay's kicker, Mason Crosby, was good for 7 FP this week, and that'll do, Mason, that'll do...

Our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are 6-2.

Onward to the Nest Of Death in Week Nine...

Hotcha! Hank