ROUGH RYDERS: Week Nine

After two straight weeks of lackluster opponents and little drama in my fantasy football world, I'm pleased to say that our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS faced a worthy adversary in the NEST OF DEATH (managed by Keith), who are the defending APFL Champions, and weathered the brutal BYE section of the season, emerging with a deceptive 5-3 record going into this weekend's matchup...

And I am pleased to report that NEST OF DEATH is now 5-4, after the ROUGH RYDERS squeezed out a narrow victory, 199 to 191.57...It took the highest team score of the week in our league to do it, but dammit if my guys didn't get it done...In other words, our beloved ROUGH RYDERS won!

TONY ROMO, fresh off a new $67 million contract, earned a decent chunk of it right away, throwing for 325 yards and 3 touchdowns, good for 25.8 fantasy points...A very hearty "OLE'!!!" for The Matador! I also caught rumor that Romo might be hooking up again with ex-girlfriend Carrie Underwood, but I think that's all about the SONY MUSIC marketing department, and nothing about who's navel Romo is currently sucking premium tequilas out of...Anyways, congrats to my fellow Wisconsinite for living large...

On the other side of the fantasy line-up, I should report that NEST OF DEATH spot-started QB Jay Cutler this week, the very same Jay Cutler who had a solid, productive fantasy game for me last week...Unfortunately for NEST OF DEATH, and Jay Cutler, he went down with a leg injury very early in the Denver-Detroit game, and only managed .67 fantasy points this week...

Such are the ways of professional AND fantasy football...It can all go to shit in a heartbeat...

CHAD JOHNSON lay face-down and motionless on the turf in Buffalo Sunday afternoon, and it's hard to know with Ocho-Cinco if his life was flashing before his eyes, or if he was just milking the moment for all the drama he could get out of it. You never know with # 85, and I gotta admit, I'm kinda getting sick of the dude...I love flamboyant players, as long as they don't start believing that they're bigger than the game itself...The problem with Chad Johnson right now is that he isn't simply having fun, and being fun, but instead he is bitching and whining to the press, to Bengals' management, and probably his teammates, and there's nothing fun about that...A year after signing a $35 million contract extension, Johnson is rumbling about being traded...I'm just glad his MRI was clean and he's only got a stiff, sore neck...He ought to be glad for the same, and get back to playing great football and having fun, even if the Bengals are doomed this year with perhaps the worst defense in the NFL...

HINES WARD was mostly a non-factor in Pittsburgh's destruction of Baltimore on Monday night...Ben Roethlisberger threw 5 TDs, but Ward didn't snag a single one of 'em...You have no idea how sickening that is when the ROUGH RYDERS are only leading by about 5 fantasy points, and NEST OF DEATH's still got Derrick Mason catching junk balls as the Ravens try desperately to get back into a lopsided game...

Likewise, KEVIN CURTIS didn't do much in his Eagles' ugly loss to the Cowboys.

You might remember my comment from a week or two ago about the depth of my receiver corps, and right now, I'm admitting I might be wrong about that...Johnson, Ward and Curtis combined had less fantasy points than Terrell Owens.

Then again, that sad trio had less points than LEE EVANS, playing admirably for our beloved ROUGH RYDERS in the "flex position" this week...It would appear my patience has paid off, as Evans has been consistently great for the past month...A whopping 32.5 FP this week, and I still can't believe Buggylicious dropped him after the first three games of the season...

Speaking of Buffalo's offense - it would appear they're starting to gel a bit these past two weeks...Of course, this week, they were facing that horrendous Bengals defense, and not only did Lee Evans go off for big numbers, but so did RB MARSHAWN LYNCH, who not only ran for 153 yards and a TD, but also threw for another TD, ala LaDainian...Of course, this was the first week of the season that I sat Lynch on the bench, so once again, I won another fantasy matchup in spite of my blundering ways...

Speaking of LT, I gotta say, after 9 weeks, that LaDAINIAN TOMLINSON is perhaps the single most disappointing player on the ROUGH RYDERS...He didn't put up horrible fantasy numbers this week, but he's only exceeded predictions once this entire season...On the actual field, 77 combined yards and a TD aren't gonna help win many games...

Meanwhile, "Purple Jesus" ADRIAN PETERSON crushed San Diego's defense for 296 rushing yards and 3 TDs...Those 296 yards are a new NFL single-game rushing record, babycakes, so while Purple Jesus' monster game had no bearing on this week's ROUGH RYDER matchup with NEST OF DEATH, it still needs to be mentioned...This kid is already legendary...Unreal...

LT...Where you at?

26.9 FP is where TONY GONZALEZ is at...Another great outing against my beloved Green Bay Packers, but that's okay, cuz at the end of the day, the Packers were victorious...They're currently sitting atop the NFC Central with a record of 7-1, and who the hell in this great state of WISCONSIN ever thought that would happen this season? I don't even think coach McCarthy was willing to think so boldly...I am man enough to admit, I predicted The Pack would go 6-10 this year, so I'm already a moran...

Elsewhere in that Packers-Chiefs game, the Packers' kicker, MASON CROSBY continues to have a fantastic rookie season, racking up an impressive 18 FP, one of which was a tackle, which is helping me forget "The Rack" himself, who kicked for our beloved ROUGH RYDERS through the first half of the season...I'm planning on riding Crosby's foot straight to the APFL crown...

Ayup...

Defensively, the BEARS were on BYE this week, so I spot-started the REDSKINS team defense, and they were about as good as the BEARS have been over the past month, so no real loss there...It could have been alot worse than the 11.7 FP they contributed...

IKE TAYLOR once again underperformed, and I've had just about enough of his bullshit...Don't expect him to be in my line-up next week...TROY POLAMALU, on the other hand, forced a fumble and made 7 tackles, and my serious man-crush aside, he will remain in my line-up indefinitely...

Meanwhile, NICK BARNETT was off his game this week, but he's a PACKER, so all is forgiven...It was his first underperformance of the year, and the ROUGH RYDERS won, so...

MICHAEL BOLEY spot-started for LANCE BRIGGS, who was on BYE this week, and had a brilliant game - 9 tackles, a couple of pass defenses, and a forced fumble, good for 13 FP...I've got a tough decision next week - which 2 of these 3 DL do I start?

It's an embarrassment of riches, I tells ya, and one I don't have to worry about right now, as I bask in the afterglow of sweet, hard-won victory over the NEST OF DEATH...

Watch me bask and glow as I tell you that our beloved WINONA ROUGH RYDERS are currently 7-2...

Hotcha! Hank