16 March 2011

This Is What I Mean - An Anti-Squirrel Machine

For years I've been sharing with you my fear/hatred of squirrels. I have warned you of their evil ways. They are black-hearted beasts who should be eradicated from this earth. If you think that's extreme, consider that the fucking squirrels want to do the same to us.
Check out the link above. The squirrel currently terrorizing Bennington, Vermont is not unique, it is simply doing what comes naturally to these adorably sinister predators. Rest assured, the squirrels in YOUR neighborhood are ruthless and deadly, and if you aren't vigilant, you might just find yourself mowing the lawn one beautiful June afternoon, when suddenly one of these deplorable creatures has dropped out of the maple tree, dug it's claws into your face, and is burrowing through your eye to get to the sweet brain meat within.
That is why you should ALWAYS wear your goggles.
Hotcha! Hank

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

that's great. i fear squirrels too. they used to live in our walls & hump loudly. it was atrocious.

March 22, 2011 12:24 PM  
Blogger Hank Mohaski said...

Hi Rach!

My grandma had a pair of the varmints in her front stairwell wall too...

I failed to vanquish them, and an exterminator needed two tries himself...

They were loud, but I don't think there was any humping...

March 25, 2011 2:59 AM  

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