Today's Fortune!!!!!

Every Wednesday at lunch I get take-out from China Wok, a very small, very authentic Chinese restaurant in a strip mall directly behind our offices, on the other side of the condos...Every single Wednesday for about the last four years I've walked through the back of our parking lot, through the canyon of condos, and into the place, placed my order, waited four to six minutes, then made the trek back to our building and my office upstairs, where I watch videos on the internet and chow down on my meal...Every Wednesday, save one or two, since 2002, and the only thing that varies is the meal I order...This is what I ordered today...

MEAL: 2 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken + 1 Fried Sweet Bun = $8.95 + $1.05 tip

I guess the meal isn't the important part of this story...No, it's the fortune, obviously...

Now, maybe there was some ancient Chinese sleight-of-hand going on, and the cook or that cute cashier purposefully slipped this particular fortune into my bag while I was busy paging through The Onion...Just having a small and secret laugh at my expense...

Or maybe the cook is poisoning me slowly, little by little, Wednesday after Wednesday, and that cute cashier Yingxue is trying to warn me.

Maybe it's some sort of psychological experiment. This is Madison, home of the world-reknowned University of Wisconsin, after all...Strange shit happens on the isthmus all the time...

All I know is I'm never eating at China Wok on Wednesdays again...In fact, I think I'm gonna stop eating there altogether...I've been thinking about putting Wiggie's patty melt on regular lunch rotation anyways...

Hotcha! Hank

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!!!

100% American cheesecake! An idle idol on the beaches of Mexico...

What I wouldn't do to eat a chili cheese dog off her belly...What I wouldn't do to hear her singing in the shower...What wouldn't I do?

Hotcha! Hank