My Blog Would Really Really Suck Without YouTube

Really.

Hotcha! Hank

Maneuver Ted Leo Sideways

Ted Leo does a pretty faithful version of "Suspect Device", but here he is banging out Kelly Clarkson and Yeah Yeah Yeahs tunes instead.

Onward! Sideways!

Hotcha! Hank

2007 Laminated List # 3

Kelly Clarkson has got a chunky butt and small tits, and bless her, babycakes...

Kelly Clarkson has got thick thighs and look at that Tummy...Yeah, that's a Tummy with a capital T, and bless her, babycakes, cuz she's as real as three or four of my ex-girlfriends, and you know exactly what I'm talking about.

And Kelly Clarkson likes to go barefootin' everywhere, just like those same chunky butt girlfriends, so I guess that's some sort of thing...Enough of a thing for Rufus Thomas to write a song about it and a dozen other artists to sing it...

Anyways, she's cute, and you know it...

And controversy doesn't trail her around like a strip of toilet paper from a gas station bathroom as it does with a few of her peers...The worst we get is her at the beach with her girlfriends, plowing into a hot dog or three with cheese.

Wait, the worst we get is rumors of hot, chubby lesbionic action at all the usual blogs. Butch bitch be banging a strap-on with Shakira or something...And you know the Kelly Clarkson nipple slip extravaganza lays somewhere down the road, and when it comes, I'll gobble up the jpgs just like some of you.

Howz THAT for a Celebrity Blog Rip-Off Maneauver?

Last, and not least, babycakes - whooo, she can sing, and since Heart is past their prime, Kelly Clarkson has a place on the charts in my heart, and # 3 on my Laminated List.

Hotcha! Hank

Do You Want Teen Pop, Or Do You Want The Truth?

Oh my!

One of my favorite performers in the whole world, and Kelly Clarkson, are working together, and here's the photographic proof.

Mike Watt, legendary bassist for Minutemen, firehose, and a billion other bands and projects, lent his thunderbroom prowess to a half dozen tracks slated for Kelly Clarkson's next album. On my short list of heroes, Mike Watt certainly makes the cut. Not only are the Minutemen arguably the finest rock band of all time, but over the years Watt has proven to be THE GLUE of the underground/indie rock scene in America. The Minutemen literally paved the way for every band that followed 'em, in terms of putting together a network of clubs, fans, and local bands which makes it possible for any indie band to mount a national tour. Plus, he's always honored the memory of d. Boon, my one true rock hero, with great humor, affection, and class.

Kelly Clarkson. You know why I love Kelly Clarkson? Because 99% of all celebrity bloggers call her a fat-ass, a fugly cow, or something else rather rude and undeserved. The truth is, she's alot like that chick yr gonna hook up with at yr dorm's Christmas party (don't deny it) right down to that punk rock chin zit, and you know what? She's gonna be all kinds of fun. All kinds. She ain't no skin and bones, babycakes, she's built for the high energy party lifestyle. Plus, Kelly Clarkson can sing like nobody's business, and that's actually kind of rare for the top of the Billboard charts, to say nothing of yr coed dorms, where auto-tuners are definitely the norm.

Anyways, I can't wait to hear this Watt-Clarkson thing. Unreal.

Thanks to Pitchforkmedia for the story and picture.

Hotcha!
Hank

Happy Cinco de Mayo!!!!!

100% American cheesecake! An idle idol on the beaches of Mexico...

What I wouldn't do to eat a chili cheese dog off her belly...What I wouldn't do to hear her singing in the shower...What wouldn't I do?

Hotcha! Hank