2007 Laminated List # 3

Kelly Clarkson has got a chunky butt and small tits, and bless her, babycakes...

Kelly Clarkson has got thick thighs and look at that Tummy...Yeah, that's a Tummy with a capital T, and bless her, babycakes, cuz she's as real as three or four of my ex-girlfriends, and you know exactly what I'm talking about.

And Kelly Clarkson likes to go barefootin' everywhere, just like those same chunky butt girlfriends, so I guess that's some sort of thing...Enough of a thing for Rufus Thomas to write a song about it and a dozen other artists to sing it...

Anyways, she's cute, and you know it...

And controversy doesn't trail her around like a strip of toilet paper from a gas station bathroom as it does with a few of her peers...The worst we get is her at the beach with her girlfriends, plowing into a hot dog or three with cheese.

Wait, the worst we get is rumors of hot, chubby lesbionic action at all the usual blogs. Butch bitch be banging a strap-on with Shakira or something...And you know the Kelly Clarkson nipple slip extravaganza lays somewhere down the road, and when it comes, I'll gobble up the jpgs just like some of you.

Howz THAT for a Celebrity Blog Rip-Off Maneauver?

Last, and not least, babycakes - whooo, she can sing, and since Heart is past their prime, Kelly Clarkson has a place on the charts in my heart, and # 3 on my Laminated List.

Hotcha! Hank