03 January 2007

On The Tenth Day of Christmas...

...Mohaski gave to thee...Ten predictions for 2007...

01) Elvis Presley will be "discovered", living in a tasteful three bedroom tract home in Grand Rapids, Michigan. His neighbors know him as "Grubmonkey", and wish he'd clean up the yard.

02) The San Diego Chargers will defeat the New Orlean Saints in Super Bowl XLI, 38-27.

03) The FBI will finally uncover who put the bomp in the bomp bah bomp bah bomp. It was a young Richard Nixon. The mystery of who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong will remain unsolved.

04) Sri Lanka will disappear off the face of the earth.

05) My duplex neighbor, Connie, will become a grandmother six more times this year. All 43 of her grandchildren will stay with her on all major U.S. holidays, plus two or three Canadian holidays. The landlord will have to call the plumber at least five times.

06) Following the recent Hollywood trend, actress Dakota Fanning will adopt a baby boy from Kenya. She will name him Idaho.

07) I will finally get a tattoo of a lawnmower on my right forearm. It will keep me from rising into middle management.

08) We will stay the course in Iraq, and the mission will be accomplished. Again.

09) God will smite Pat Robertson with his favorite weapon, syphilis.

10) The monkeys will finally take over.


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Anonymous Anonymous said...

i've since moved to Holland (being banished from grand rapids because of drunk and disorderly public nudity racketeering conviction. 3rd offense), but yeah, my neighbors here wish i'd clean up the yard too...empty beer cans everywhere!

how are ya hank-dawg?

July 29, 2007 8:22 PM  

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