Things I Liked Last Week 052310

01: Dan Nelson: All Known Metal Bands: I don't even remember what I was searching for when I ran across this book at Amazon, but the minute I saw it, I knew I had to have it (used, of course) in my life. Quite simply, this is a list of 51,000 Heavy Metal bands, in alphabetical order, as of 2008. Yes, it is fucking awesome. Kudos to Dan Nelson and this singular, epic compulsion. Godwaffle. Satanic Sega Genesis.




02: Janelle Monae doing "Tightrope" on Letterman: This was the absolute shiz. The new Godmother of Sci-Fi Soul/R'n'B/HipHop/Funk, perhaps? Implied. I Coulda done without the Diddy, but he did bow down to Ms. Monae...So, um...Read that last part back to me and watch the vid...

03: Bananajesus: It's called Pareidolia, the phenomenon of seeing faces in ordinary, everyday objects, or my favorite, seeing the Virgin Mary in things. Longtime readers of Hot Poop might know that when I post pictures like this, I like to paraphrase the Dead Milkmen and write, "you'll pray to anything". Yeah, it's a jab at nutty Christians, but I must admit, as a "hopeful agnostic" (which makes me the wishy-washiests of people) there have been periods in my life when I was seeing the face of Jesus in the strangest places - an arrangement of gravel on my cousin Chico's driveway, in the leaves/branches of the silver maple in the front yard, two evil squirrels adding a depth to the beard. The more spiritual friends and well-wishers of mine would always say things like "It's God, showing you his truth." Ugh.

04: This moshpit pic: If one looks long enough, one might imagine God and Satan in this image. BTW - is this a photo, a painting, or a photoshopped monstrosity somewhere in between?

05: Fritz: [as always, click to enlarge] My sister assures me this kid's name if Fritz. I went to school with a kid named Fritz. Fritz lived on a farm. Now, I love my sis, but I'm pretty damn sure she's pulling my leg on this one, because I'm pretty damn sure she doesn't know any kids named Fritz. Fritz.


06: 30 Rock: "I Do Do" [S4-EP22] : This excellent season 4 finale, which broadcast last Thursday night, features Matt Damon as Carroll, Liz Lemon's new love interest. Carroll, a dashing pilot who is seemingly and believably Liz's soulmate. True. Love is also in the air for Jack, who is torn between two lovers and feeling like a fool. Meanwhile, Jenna's new beau, a Jenna Maroney impersonator, also reveals himself to be a Cher impersonator as well. Another triangle. More decisions. Kenny gets fired, but really, this show is all about Liz, possibly finding happiness, and Matt Damon's fantastic cameo. Which I'm hoping is more than just a cameo. I'd like to see Damon come back next season in a semi-regular role. Let Liz be happy in love and spend season 5 making that funny as an antidote to four years of unlucky Liz. Anyways, what's most valuable here - Damon is a very good comic actor. The sort of actor who creates funny characters through subtle mannerisms and affectations, wigs & facial hair, a good wardrobe, who then delivers improbably funny lines with such earnestness, and sometimes with a well-played accent. Damon was Oscar-worthy in last year's The Informant! And as much as I love Terry Gilliam, The Brothers Grimm was a messy film that didn't quite work. But that wasn't Damon's fault. He and Heath Ledger gave their usually solid-to-great performances in a middling film that had it's fair share of humor throughout (from clever wordplay to nutty slapstick). In fact, I'd say there's a boyish wink lurking under most of Damon's characters. Like Clooney, just not as dashing. Blather. Tina Fey!!!!!

07: The Rusty Nail: Also known as a "Donald Sutherland", this sweet stinging cocktail is 5 parts scotch (make mine Dalmore) and 2 parts Drambuie, poured into an ice-filled highball glass. Stir slowly and gently until the glass gets nice and frosty. Finish it with a lemon twist. It's good medicine in warm weather.

Hotcha! Hank

R.I.P. Ronnie James Dio

Like many dudes my age, I grew up with a deep and abiding love for Black Sabbath. They were certainly my introduction to Heavy Metal, and their greatest hits album, We Sold Our Soul For Rock'n'Roll, was probably one of the first half-dozen records I ever bought with my own money, which wasn't from a job (I was too young), but rather from the $2/week allowance I got for taking the garbage out, washing dishes, and keeping my bedroom clean. Adjusting for inflation, it took me about 3 weeks to save enough money to buy that 2-record greatest hits set, and a pack of football cards, at Ben Franklin. (The store, not the long-dead statesmen.) Anyways, I must have been about ten years old at the time, and I seem to recall my mom not being too happy that I liked Sabbath, but still allowing me to listen to 'em. She was cool like that.

But you know what? For all my love for the original Sabbath, with Ozzy on vocals, I have to admit that my favorite album of theirs, to this day, is Heaven And Hell, with Ronnie James Dio on vocals. Simply put, it's one of the greatest Heavy Metal albums ever made, and as iconic and awesome as Ozzy was/is, Ronnie James Dio was always the better singer, and I think most fucking metal fans would agree with me on that count.

I had the great fortune to see Black Sabbath with Dio on vocals, and the even greater fortune of seeing Dio live on the Holy Diver tour. They played the Eagles Club in Milwaukee, a place that held maybe 1000 people, and at this general admission show, my friends and I were lucky enough to get right up to the front of the stage, a mere 10 feet away from the band. After hundreds, if not thousands of shows I've seen over the years, it remains one of the greatest shows I've ever seen.

I'd also note that to the best of my recollection, Ronnie James Dio was the first person I ever saw "throw the horns".

Rest in peace, Ronnie James, you were fucking awesome.

Hotcha! Hank