30 October 2006

Words, like a shotgun blast to the face...

According to "His Excellency President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Dick Cheney, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Earth and Fishes of the Sea, and Conqueror of the Baa'thist Empire in The Fertile Crescent in General and Iraq in Particular", the terrorists want the Democrats to win next week's midterm elections and take back control of Congress because Democrats are pussy pushovers who will immediately cut and run from the middle east, leaving Iraq to spiral downward into chaos and bloodshed, the likes of which we haven't seen since earlier this afternoon, or possibly last week.

And, of course, if we do cut and run from Iraq, well, that means less money for corporations like, say, Halliburton, and of course, that means less retirement money waiting for Cheney in January of 2009 when he re-enters the private sector, because, well, Uncle Dick owns approximately 433,000 shares of Halliburton, currently worth in excess of $8 million.

But it's not about the money, kids...No sirree...It's about the stiffy Cheney gets whenever he thinks about death...Or oil.

So, let's get out there next Tuesday, and vote Republican with fervor, babycakes, because a despondent and slightly poorer Dick Cheney isn't good for anyone.


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