2008 Laminated List # 5

Meg White is a serene mystery wrapped in a glorious pair of tits. Look at that photo above, and imagine how wonderful it must be to take comfort from this woman. Then look at her face in this photo below...Emanating such grace and peace with a pair of drumsticks in hand...

Meg White doesn't talk much in interviews, doesn't do much on stage except sit on her throne, keeping time on her drumkit, and she always seems comfortable in that role. At ease in her own skin. Perhaps because she is wise enough to understand that the whole White Stripes thing doesn't work without her, no matter how good or talented Jack White may be...She is the tranquil Yin to Jack's restless Yang...Indeed, she literally keeps time while Jack frets...

Plenty of people don't think Meg White is much of a drummer, mostly because her playing is simple and direct, without many fills or frills...But that is exactly why she is so fucking effective in The White Stripes...Again, this whole Yin/Yang thing...Jack's the exploder of the duo, spraying notes and chords all over Meg's sturdy framework, and you better believe she packs a wallop, no matter how simplistic her playing sounds...Technical ability is one thing (for the record, I believe her style of playing is quite difficult), but knowing how to best compliment the other players in a musical group, well, that's THE thing...

Jack White himself has said that he played with tons of drummers in his early years, and then, on a lark one evening, his then-wife Meg got behind the kit to jam with him, and he immediately knew that she was the one drummer he needed. The marriage didn't last, but obviously the musical relationship has, and it's not too difficult to see and understand why they've become superstars.

But this isn't about The White Stripes and how undeniably good they are. This is about how undeniably sexy and beautiful I find Meg White. This is about those glorious tits, those big, wide-set eyes, that serene smile, the luxurious hair, the ponytails, the porcelain skin...The fact that she drums barefoot...And I don't think I've ever really seen her ass, but I just know it's transcendent...

Yes, for all this, and more, Meg White finds herself at #5 on this year's Laminated List...Let the soft misogyny commence!

Hotcha! Hank