Tuesday's Fortune: 31 March 2009

MEAL: 1 Vegetable Spring Roll + 1 small order Cashew Chicken = $5.65 + $1.35 tip

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 111

Mastodon: Crack The Skye: "Ghost Of Karelia" [mp3]

Over at EVERYTHINGATHON! we've got Dan Dierdorf spinning Heavy Metal at the crack of dawn, so it only seems right to spin a tune off Mastodon's new album, which was released this past Tuesday...

I've only listened to the album once so far, and my first impressions are that I'm not exactly sure WTF the concept/story is behind the album, and right now I'm guessing it all has something to do with Russian Orthodox mysticism, heavy DMT usage, and a demon space bear...

Hey! That's rock'n'roll!

Hotcha! Hank

The Non-Screaming Ben Jenkins Sideways Maneuver

DJ Wormparts linked me to this video in the comments of the previous post, and I was smitten by it enough to slap it up here on the main page. This is 100% Hot Poop, no doubt about it...The guitar player slays me most of all...Thanks, DJ!

ZAP!

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 24 March 2009

MEAL: 1 Roast Pork Egg Roll + 1 small order Moo Goo Gai Pan = $5.35 + $1.65 tip

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 110

Luna: Pup Tent: "Pup Tent" [Mp3]

At first you might think this is a sultry little song about love and lust...The bass is strutting, the guitar is slinky and playful, and Dean Wareham is whispering suggestively, possibly into a telephone...Perhaps to his lover...His first verse expressing an almost innocent kind of love...

Sneakin' a kiss...On the fire escape... A little game of pup tent...With a blanket and a broom... My mind is taking photographs...Of every little thing... Exhibit number 2...A piece of white chocolate...

And the chorus, with it's exuberant music, is a powerful declaration. Dean would do anything for his woman, even cry...Hell, he all but claims to be choking back tears already...

And if you want me to, I'm gonna cry you a river tonight...
And if you ask me to,I'm gonna fall right into your dreams...
And did you know, I feel a chokin' in the back of my throat...

The second verse is where things get a bit tricky...Dean sees his woman, but he's seeing her from a distance now, and it would appear she doesn't see him...Is he waiting for her, and he sees her coming? She appears to be late. Why? Again, he's taking mental notes of the scene, but the word "exhibit" now suggests something other than innocence...Now it's about evidence...Proof of wrongdoing...Maybe she was sneakin' kisses with someone else in the first verse...

I see you walkin'...Walkin' on tippytoes...
Swayin' like a sunflower...On a Spanish afternoon...
My mind is taking photographs...Of every little thing...
Exhibit number 8 ...don't be late...

The third verse appears to support the idea of infidelity...She creeps in, home, but it's a glass house that hides no secrets, and their bed is glass as well, but this time it evokes hardness, coldness, and fragility...And in the end, no matter which way she turns, there is shame...

You crept in...Underneath the radar...
Living in a glass house...Sleeping on a glass bed...
But my mind has taken photographs...Of every little thing...
Honey turn around...And the shame remains...

Ahhh, this is why I love Dean Wareham and Luna...Such a sly, acidic lyricist...Such a solid songwriter and fluid guitarist...Such a great song...

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 17 March 2009

MEAL: 1 order (8) steamed dumplings + 1 order (6) Teriyaki Chicken = $11.50 + $1.50 tip

Hotcha! Hank

Smut Peddlers Maneuver Sideways

BTW, I ain't 100% positive on this tip, but I believe the dude playing the dad in the previous Princess Superstar video [see below], is Mr. Eon, formerly of High & Mighty, right here and now rapping with a bigger dude named Cage, making Mr. Eon the smaller dude rocking the pedophile moustache in this video...I could be wrong, but I'm probably right...I stopped really really following Hip Hop nearly a decade ago...Nowadays it's mostly just MF Doom and Ghostface for me...That seems to be the right amount of Hip Hop for a dude in my demographic...Really really...

FUN FACT: This video was uploaded to YouTube on my birthday by some dude named DaOrIgInOoSoUnDbWoY.

That's actually two facts, I guess.

Hotcha! Hank

Sideways Maneuver Is A Bad Babysitter

Can't forget Princess Superstar...

Hotcha! Hank

Keep Those Sideways Maneuvers Rolling, RAWHIDE!

Hell bent for leather...Tiny, tiny leather...

Hotcha! Hank

The Joy Of Your Sideways Maneuver

If this were actually the video to MC Paul Barman's other hit song, "Cock Mobster", I'd be quoting the line "Winona Ryder? Goin' inside her!" , and getting lost in a thousand yard stare, a slight smile on my lips...

This year's Laminated List is still four months away, so for now, I'll quote this:

"It was time to copulate but we didn't want to populate...So my bold groin reached for my gold coin proooophylactic...I unwrapped it, you can't know how I felt...It wasn't a gold coin condom, it was chocolate Chanukah gelt...The white part crumbled on her tummy and the rest began to melt...Foiled again..."

I wonder who's gonna be numbers 3 through 5 this year...

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 109

Dead Kennedys: Frankenchrist: "MTV, Get Off The Air" [mp3]

MC Paul Barman: It's Very Stimulating: "MTV, Get Off The Air, Part 2" [mp3]

Some things never change, I guess.

MTV had only been on the air about four years when Jello Biafra penned and bleated the words to "MTV, Get Off The Air" for the Dead Kennedys...But really, MTV was only a convenient and prudent target for his argument against television in general, and against a whole new generation with just one more option for passive entertainment and the dreaded but inevitable mind rot that occurs when one doesn't have to think...As a screed, it's pretty easy and tame, although I always loved the line "the dumbest buy the mostest"...

(I'm dumb all over)

Fifteen years later (2000), and MC Paul Barman hits the scene, bringing a filthy song with Princess Superstar that really only borrows the DK's title cuz he's a clever Ivy League (Brown!) graduate like that...A a short, horny Jewish dude studying English in Rhode Island (Brown!) who only wants MTV off the air to make room for a channel devoted solely to him...But he's smart enough to namecheck the Dead Kennedys without actually naming 'em, leaving room to drop rhymes like "I'm a hunter-gatherer, a cunter-latherer...My dandy voice makes the most anti-choice granny's panties moist"...

Personally, I haven't had cable television since 1995, and I seem to remember watching Nickolodeon almost exclusively, so I really don't have any beef with MTV...When I watched MTV back in the 1980's, I thought it was the coolest shit ever, so as much as I loved the Dead Kennedys, I didn't give a shit about Jello's feelings on the matter...

Besides, anyone in the know knows that East Bay Ray was the true fucking hero of that band, and easily one of the most underrated and overlooked guitarists in rock history...

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 10 March 2009

MEAL: 1 order (10) Fried Wontons + 1 small order Beef With Oyster Sauce = $8.30 + $1.00 tip

Hotcha! Hank

EVERYTHINGATHON! March 2009!

Another month, another new episode of EVERYTHINGATHON!

This month, Hall-Of-Fame tackle Dan Dierdorf finds himself spinning Heavy Metal at the crack of dawn on WBST, 109.5 FM...It really is as simple as that...Enjoy, until April 1st...

http://www.everythingathon.com/podcast.htm

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The End Of The Weekend

David Bowie: Scary Monsters: "Fashion" [mp3]

You'll excuse the lack of posting lately, but I've been in a bit of a funk. It concerns work, and then again, concerns so much more...

You see, last week I had a sit-down with my boss. Apparently the VP of our company told him that it's time for me to present myself in a more professional manner at work. More specifically, I am no longer allowed to wear my usual attire, which consists almost solely of blue jeans and flannel shirts over t-shirts, and some sort of skateboarding shoes. This is the way I have dressed since grade school ("Grunge" was never a fashion statement, it was about wearing sensible clothing in cold weather), and it fits completely within our company's non-existent dress code.

Yes, we have no official dress code, and yet, certain people within our company ARE expected to dress in business attire. These are typically the executives and department heads, or anyone who regularly meets with people outside our company. I am not an executive, or even a department head, nor do I meet very often with outside people, and on those few occasions when I do, I am savvy enough to wear a nice dress shirt in lieau of my usual flannel. Our VP has now made it clear that this is not good enough, that I must look "presentable" every day.

I can live (barely) with this dress code. It is true that I am currently being groomed to take over my boss' job when he retires, which is approximately 5 years from now, and he IS a department head, but the fact remains, I am at least 5 years away from being a department head, and so technically, I shouldn't have to adhere to a somewhat arbitrary dress code until then, but like I said, I can live (barely) with it. Considering the economy, I guess I should take some solace in the fact that the VP of our company believes it is time for me to start dressing like management.

What is hard to live with is the other request/demand that the VP handed down to me. I was asked to shave off my beard and goattee. The beard is a winter thing, and as I do every year, I always shave it off on the first day of spring, so it's not such a big deal to shave it off a couple weeks early this year, even though this request/demand rubs me the wrong way on principle. Who cares whether I wear a beard? Are bearded individuals somehow less capable or less professional than the clean-shaven? I don't believe so. The powers that be in our company apparently believe otherwise.

Now, the goattee is another story. I have sported a goatee since my sophomore year in high school, and I have no intentions of ever shaving it off, and I told my boss that at our sit-down. Whether or not this becomes an issue remains to be seen.

But probably the most troubling request/demand of all was that I should no longer shave my head bald, something else I normally do every year on the first day of spring. Again, I was unaware that being bald makes one less capable or professional. As far as I know, my work doesn't suffer through the summer months when I'm bald, but maybe I'm simply unaware. The thing is - I look damn good bald. I look better bald than I do with hair. Friends tell me this, coworkers tell me this, women tell me this...Our VP feels otherwise, apparently.

Professional considerations aside, it's always troubling to be considered unacceptable by others simply because of fashion and hairstyle. To me, it's an indictment of who I am as a human being just as much as a professional work request. So, for the past week, I've been caught in a fairly substantial existential crisis. Am I really nothing more than a slacker? At the age of 43, should I be taking my career seriously? Who says? I mean, if I am relatively happy with who I am, and my lot in life, what should it matter to anyone else? Am I a failure if I do not meet the approval of my bosses or coworkers (0r anyone, for that matter)? Is it true that the quality of my work is less important than how I dress at work?

There is a large part of me that believes it may be time for me to find a different job, but in this economy, well...

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 03 March 2009

MEAL: 1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Beef Chow Mein = $8.00 + $1.00 tip

Hotcha! Hank