29 March 2011

Tuesday's Fortune: 29 March 2010

MEAL: 5 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 Fried Sweet Bun = $8.50 + $1.50 tip

Hotcha! Hank

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26 March 2011

HOT FIVE: Winona Ryder Films And/Or Grunge Albums

05: A Scanner Darkly: A Philip K Dick novel turned into an animated disassociative disorder full of bright colors and a dull sense of dread. Plus +++ Winona's animated boobs.

04: Lucas: Winona's debut film at 15, as tomboy Rina who has a crush on Corey Haim's Lucas. It's possible that Winona Ryder (or maybe actually Goldie Hawn) shaped my preference for women with shorter hair.
03: Heathers: Teen angst illustrated. The film that ended my infatuation with Molly Ringwald, and put the '80s to rest. What's your damage?

02: Mudhoney: Superfuzz Big Muff Plus Early Singles: I considered In Utero, Ultramega OK, and Melvins' Lysol, before deciding that for my purposes, Superfuzz Bigmuff Plus Early Singles is the definitive Grunge album. Touch me, I'm sick.

01: Night On Earth: My favorite Jim Jarmusch film, and therefore one of my 10 favorite films, wherein a 19 year old Winona kinda mostly holds her own with Gena Rowlands in the first 20 minutes of this hilarious and oftentimes poignant film about five cab drivers in five cities around the world during one night on earth. Plus +++ Scored by Tom Waits.

Hotcha! Hank

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25 March 2011

Something 4 The Weekend # 198

It was 1971, and who the fuck was playing this sort of music besides the James Gang?

You know, sometimes I wonder if Joe Walsh doesn't get enough credit...Of course, when it comes to this kind of power trio brilliance, I've gotta mention bassist Dale Peters and drummer Jim Fox too because, seriously, who else was playing this kind of Prog Funk Metal Blues in 1971? Three dudes blowing up, live on stage...
But Joe Walsh...
I think we're all in agreement that Rolling Stone magazine's infamous list of the 100 Greatest Guitarists of All Time is mostly a load of flaming hot poop, and as further proof - Joe Walsh didn't make the list. Joan Jett (whom I loved as a teen) is on the list. Adam Jones of Tool in on the list. Paul Kossof of Free made the cut (at #51, no less).
Joe Walsh is nowhere to be found, and I think it reflects the fact that as his career progressed, especially through the 1980s, his tendency towards jokey titles and general silliness got the better of him. He probably smoked too much weed, quite honestly, and while he continued to be a fantastic guitarist, the songs were less frequently good or great, the plight of almost all middle-aged musicians.
But Joe Walsh was consistently good or great through the 1970s. Those James Gang records with him are all outstanding, his solo output is almost as good, and when he joined The Eagles, they unleashed Hotel California, a legendary album whether you like The Eagles or not. I'm fairly ambivalent about The Eagles myself, but "Life In The Fast Lane", Joe's signature tune on that album, still excites me.
Ahh, Joe Walsh...
James Gang's "Funk #49" was #3 on that list.
And thus concludes tonight's Joe Walsh Lovefest.
Hotcha! Hank

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22 March 2011

Tuesday's Fortune: 22 March 2011

MEAL: 2 Vegetable Spring Rolls + 1 order Scallops With Mixed Vegetables = $8.90 + $1.10 tip

Hotcha! Hank

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16 March 2011

This Is What I Mean - An Anti-Squirrel Machine

For years I've been sharing with you my fear/hatred of squirrels. I have warned you of their evil ways. They are black-hearted beasts who should be eradicated from this earth. If you think that's extreme, consider that the fucking squirrels want to do the same to us.
Check out the link above. The squirrel currently terrorizing Bennington, Vermont is not unique, it is simply doing what comes naturally to these adorably sinister predators. Rest assured, the squirrels in YOUR neighborhood are ruthless and deadly, and if you aren't vigilant, you might just find yourself mowing the lawn one beautiful June afternoon, when suddenly one of these deplorable creatures has dropped out of the maple tree, dug it's claws into your face, and is burrowing through your eye to get to the sweet brain meat within.
That is why you should ALWAYS wear your goggles.
Hotcha! Hank

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15 March 2011

Tuesday's Fortune: 15 March 2011

MEAL: 2 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 small order Kung Pao Chicken = $6.65 + 35ยข tip

Hotcha! Hank

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11 March 2011

Something 4 The Weekend # 197

Yuck: Yuck: "Suck" [mp3]

The '90s were a pretty good decade, I guess. Flannel was popular for awhile...Coffee was hot.

Outside of Mudhoney and maybe the Ultramega OK album, I'm not sure what Grunge was...N0t anymore...The Melvins continue to rule them all...

After that, after Grunge, everything in music just went haywire...Rap metal. Industrial Goth. Arena Grunge. Britpop. A swing revival. Twee indie pop. Techno. Jam bands. Boy Bands. Festival seating! Lilith Fairs! We were all post-grunge losers, babycakes, why don't you beer me? Make sure it's an Icehouse.

LOL...Pepsi Clear and ice beer. Disinfecting bellybutton piercings and listening to Bjork...Aaaah, the '90s...

Anyways, plenty of critics and plebs are saying Yuck sounds like the 1990s (the decade, not the band), and I'll say it too. Whatever...

Music's been haywire ever since. The internet, blahblahblah...Bands are starting up each and every day, and they're all a click or three away, all the time, the endless links and yr second harddrive's quickly filling up...Yr media player on RANDOM and how many songs really LEAP OUT? How many songs make you stop what yr doing and check WHO THE HELL IS THIS?

And doesn't it seem it's always only one or four artists that make you look?

Is Yuck one of those bands? Yeah, they could be. They sound like the '90s, but they've got really good songs, some good sounds, and certainly strong melodies...And they've got some range, obviously, if they sound like chunks of an entire decade.

Yuck could be super, I suppose, two or three albums from now...What I mean is, if they can string together a couple more albums like this, they could be soundchecked themselves in 2027...

But the culture is all haywire, and Yuck could just as easily get lost and break up and get kinda forgotten...Like The Libertines.

Yuck doesn't suck right now. I suppose that's just enough these days.

Hotcha! Hank

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08 March 2011

Tuesday's Fortune: 08 March 2011

MEAL: 1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken = $8.20 + $1.80 tip

Hotcha! Hank

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05 March 2011

Something 4 The Weekend # 196

What are your plans for this weekend?
I'm going to be smoking crack with my family of goddesses and watching porn. Either that, or drinking alone and reading Drood by Dan Simmons. I haven't really decided yet.
Plus +++ LAUNDRY!
Hotcha! Hank

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01 March 2011

Tuesday's Fortune: 01 March 2011

MEAL: 2 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 2 Vegetable Spring Rolls + 1 order (8) Crab Rangoon = $8.35 + $1.65 tip

Hotcha! Hank

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