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O.J. Simpson just won't go away, will he? I mean, for the most part, he stays out of the media spotlight, and sticks to the golf courses of Florida, where a man can be alone with his own thoughts. But every once in awhile, every couple of years since his acquittal in 1995, O.J. leaves the links just long enough to grant a cryptic/creepy interview, or promote something like an appearance at a charity golf event.

So, here we are again...

O.J. is back in the news, this time to promote a new book entitled If I Did It, in which he hypothetically explains how he would have murdered his ex-wife, Nicole Brown, and her friend, Ronald Goldman.

His publisher, Judith Regan, told the Associated Press, "This is an historic case, and I consider this his confession."

Well, fuck yeah, it's his confession. Every time he's been in front of the bright light of a television camera over the past decade, spewing strange soundbites to the aether, he's been confessing.

People have an incredibly hard time keeping secrets, especially the deep and dark kind, and O.J. is people, after all. Good people. He'll tell you so himself. He pleads "Not Guilty" every once in awhile, and in the court of public opinion, the vast majority of us go "Pfft, yeah right." and then we get back to our online Soduko puzzle and Paris Hilton upskirt pics.

"Double jeopardy, dude, nothing we can do about it now."

Confessions or not, O.J. Simpson craves attention. How could he not, considering his legendary football career, and his transition into acting and announcing in the Monday Night Football booth with the greatest sports announcer of all time, Howard Cosell. The Juice needs that spotlight, and maybe even demands it. Those lights shined bright from the start - He won the Heisman Trophy at the age of 21, right there in downtown Los Angeles at USC, and three years later he bacame the NFL's first "2000 Man".

Hell, it's my belief that O.J. murdered Nicole and Ron because she wasn't giving O.J. her attention anymore, and some of the attention that had been O.J.'s was shining down on Ron, and The Juice wasn't having any of that. Hell no.

So here we are, a dozen years after that horrible night, and O.J. is sitting down for an interview with FOX, natch, and among other things, he's gonna discuss the way in which he would have murdered Nicole and Ron, IF he had done the deed. Fuckin' A! And for those of us who aren't gonna be DVRing the hell outta that, never fear, he lays it all down in black and white in the book.

Even if he truly didn't do it, this is just so twisted and surreal. Creepy and wrong. It serves no purpose other than to terrorize the victims' families and friends, and to remind everybody else that the killer is still out there, and we haven't caught him yet.


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Hank