Private Feelgood

It seems Tommy Lee enlisted in the Army this past weekend, when the cognitively-challenged musician mistook a recruitment center on Hollywood Boulevard for a Starbucks. He will be stationed in Afghanistan after completion of his basic training.

Reached for comment, the Motley Crue drummer said, "At first, I was scared shitless, but then Nikki Sixx told me that Afghanistan is covered with poppy fields, so I figure my tour of duty will be alot like the Crue's Theater Of Pain Tour, which was a fucking blast. Now I'm wicked psyched to go. Plus, I convinced Scott Weiland to enlist too. We're gonna be bunkmates."

An NBC film crew will be embedded with the duo's unit to record footage for a live-action sitcom to premier sometime next year.

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Hank