Something 4 The Weekend # 230

Robyn Hitchcock: A Star For Bram: "Judas Sings (Jesus & Me)" [mp3]

Considering the mentions of a phone and dope, we must assume this song isn't Judas Iscariot singing to Caiaphas, the Jewish high priest who (allegedly) organized a plot to kill Jesus Christ, or Pontius Pilate, Roman governor of Judaea, who judged and sentenced Jesus to crucifixion, or even Emperor Tiberius himself, although the lyrics certainly fit otherwise.

Robyn Hitchcock is a smart and clever fellow, so I assume this song is some sort of allegory, religion as co-dependence and twisted love, breaking down your partner verbally, convincing your partner that nobody else in this whole world loves them except you and Jesus. You say that to someone often enough, and they very well may believe it. Or it could simply be about a dope dealer named Judas, who knows? I'd bet anything there was plenty of hashish and opium in Judaea, circa year zero.

So anyways, Jesus died for your sins. My sins. Everybody's sins. That's a pretty fucking heavy load of guilt and co-dependence right there, isn't it? Of course, some of our fundamentalist family members and friends might say God never gives us more than we can bear, which is a nice way of saying that no matter how much pain and suffering may be heaped upon us, we must always remember that it can always get worse. But we can handle it, right? We can handle the pain and despair, or the loneliness and heartbreak, we can handle Aunt Carol's constant put-downs and Grandpa's tendency to say racist things loudly in public, and we can even handle the cancers and the diabetes and the hypertension. We can handle it all right up to the very end because God loves us enough to never overburden us. Ever.

Man, this song is depressing. Religion is depressing. I guess I'm depressing, although I wouldn't say that I'm depressed. Maybe weary, not even sad.

[Insert sound of weariness here]

I wish all of you a pleasant and satisfying holiday season. May we get the handheld device of our dreams, may our fantasy football team win our matchups this weekend, and may we all enjoy this long weekend among people we like and even love, with no strings attached. Forgiveness and unconditional love. I think that's what this is all supposed to be about.

Don't be a Judas, an assassin of hearts.

Keep resting in peace, mom.

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 217

Captain Beefheart & The Magic Band: Clear Spot: "Big-Eyed Beans From Venus" [mp3]

My mom would have been sixty-nine years old today. She died a long time ago. This song is gospel, and you should always listen to your captain.

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 215

Chicago: Chicago V: "Saturday In The Park" [mp3]

Chicago was one of my mom's favorite bands. When I was in the 4th grade, I started to learn to work the saxophone, and part of that learning process included learning to play along to Chicago songs, thanks to a book of transcriptions I found (and my mom bought for me) at our town's music store.

I am often surprised by the bands that people like, and I think, "there's no accounting for taste". Then, as usual, I think about it a bit more, and realize that taste often has nothing to do with it.

We've all had a mom.

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 19 April 2011

MEAL: 1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Chicken With Pea Pods = $8.00 + $1.00 tip


Hotcha! Hank

Sideways Maneuver Just Wants To Be Your Everything

Only a manchild as sexy as Andy Gibb could get away with wearing an unzipped satin cricket jacket, even in 1977. 78% of male America was unbuttoning their shirts back then, due in no small part to cocaine, and it was simply a bad decision for all of 'em, save Andy and possibly two of his older Gibb brothers from the BeeGees...Linda Ronstadt coulda pulled it off, if it wasn't for her perky tits. America was almost as afraid of perky tits back then as we are today.

But I digress.

I think this video proves my long-held theory (nay, belief), that the bigger one's teeth, the bigger the success. Whiteness certainly counts, but size matters most. Try thinking of a famous person with small teeth. I can't, but I don't really want to right now.

I digress.

I might be wrong, but I'm fairly certain Andy Gibb was singlehandedly responsible (Rex Smith and Shaun Cassidy probably factor, but barely enough to mention) for my sister Starsky going through puberty when she was 10 years old, and what I mean, you pervert, is that he exuded soooo much sexiness on his album covers and posters and Tiger Beat photo spreads and appearances on American Bandstand that my sister literally willed herself to become a woman. That's fucking sexy, babycakes, and Andy had it 100%. The only man who possibly had that much sex power in 1977 was Burt Reynolds, but he wasn't for the little girls like Andy was. Burt was for the ladies, like my mom, who had her copy of Cosmo with the naked centerfold neatly tucked at the bottom of her stack of cooking and sewing magazines in the dining room. It was the only copy of Cosmo she ever owned, such was the power of Burt on the housewives of that decade, but now I'm really digressing...

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 121

Roy Clark: The Lightning Fingers Of Roy Clark: "Chicken Wire" [mp3]

My dad loves guitar slingers, especially those from his formative years in the 1950's and '60's...Guys like Chuck Berry, Bo Diddley, Duane Eddy, Scotty Moore, Chet Atkins, Eddie Cochran...And this guy, Roy Clark...

Roy seemed to hold a special place in our house...Not just with my dad, but also with my mom, and I always figured it was because my dad looks a fair bit like Roy Clark...

Roy was so beloved in our house, in fact, that I'm not exaggerating when I say that I've probably seen 99% of all the Hee-Haw episodes ever made...Every Sunday evening after dinner on the PBS station in Milwaukee, good ol' Channel 10...

Whatever...Circa 1963, when this album was released, Roy Clark did have lightning fingers, even in a town like Nashville, which has always been full of fast cats...What's great about this particular song, which is otherwise a fairly unremarkable Roots Rock song, is his imitation of a chicken at the beginning of his solo...Roy was always a pretty funny guy...So is my dad, or at least how I remembered him back then...

Nowadays he watches alot of Shirley Temple movies (WTF?!?!?!?) and plays bingo at Indian casinos...

But this album still cooks - bluegrass, rock, polka, swing, twist, surf - it's all here, and most of it's played lightning fast...

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 117

John Prine: In Spite Of Ourselves: "In Spite Of Ourselves" [mp3]

Once upon a time, in a suburb far, far away, I used to be a teenaged romantic.

I believed in love. And while my idea of love contained many wonderful and lovely things, it was the sight of my mom popping a zit or two on my dad's back one evening as they sat next to one another on the edge of their bed that came to represent love to me.

That was about 30 years ago, and while I don't remember what they said that evening, I distinctly remember my dad cracking jokes, cuz he's a joker, and my mom laughing, cuz she was a laugher.

But mostly I remember the zit-popping.

Alot of years have passed since that evening, and I've accumulated plenty of wisdom and experience, and while I still believe love is possible, it seems less probable. Or maybe it would be better to say love doesn't mean as much to me as it used to. It's not a priority anymore.

It's Mother's Day this Sunday, and I'm planning on visiting my mom's resting place in Milwaukee this weekend, where I'll probably sit quietly and wonder how and when I arrived at this place, my philosophy of love, and maybe even life.

Something went wrong along the way, and I'm often just...weary...these days.

Hotcha! Hank

RIP, Bea Arthur

Nothing much to say except I used to watch "Maude" with my mom when I was a kid, and Bea Arthur reminded me of my mom, who was a fairly progressive woman herself...

And tall...My mom was 5'11"...

Rest in peace, Bernice Frankel.

Hotcha! Hank

Sideways Block The Catholic Maneuver

You see, in 1987, I had moved back home to help my dad and the visiting nurses take care of my mom, who would die of pancreatic cancer in the early morning of Christmas Eve that year...Now, I won't get into all the frightening details of her decay, except to say that the Sister album by Sonic Youth was the soundtrack to the trip, for me, anyways, and that's what's relevant to S4TW #87 and these subsequent sideways maneuvers...

1987 was a crazy fucking tuff year, to be sure, but it had it's good moments...My mom and I spent a ton of time together...Talking, reading to each other, watching movies, listening to records...

I didn't spin the Sister LP around her, because she didn't like anything remotely like Sonic Youth...So I kept a cassette dub of the album for my commutes to UWM and back, or when I made a buzz run out into the country late at night, trying to get away from everything for an hour or two...

I listened to this album sooo fucking much in the latter half of that twisted year because Sonic Youth more than any other band at that particular time, had found the perfect mix of magic pop riffs and atonal bliss, harmony and noise, beauty and decay...For me, this was/is the music of life itself (and the fact that death is always in its midst), the sacred and the profane, waves of madness and love, and eruptions of anger, it's all there in the music...

Music that underpins a loose song cycle about ghosts and regrets, drugs and faith, insanity, Nazis, a static future, a kinetic past, aliens, entropy, death, decay, and the healing powers of Rock'n'Roll...Words that spoke directly to my life and experiences that year, right down to the Christmas tree, it's mirrored bulb ornaments reflecting my dying mom a dozen or more times in miniature...

Come back to me awhile.

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 87

Sonic Youth: Sister: "Kotton Krown" [mp3]

Love has come to stay in all the way it's gonna stay forever and
everyday it feels like a wish coming true it feels like an angel dreaming of you
it feels like heaven forgiving and getting it feels like a fading celebrating
gonna call them spirits grey I'm gonna laugh it up
you gotta cotton crown I'm gonna keep it underground.

You're gonna take control of the chemistry you're gonna manifest the mystery
you've got a magic wheel in your memory
I'm wasted in time and I'm looking everywhere
I don't care where
angels are dreaming of you

NYC is forever king
I'm wasted in time and your never ready
fading fading celebrating
I've got your Kotton Krown.

Sonic Youth: Sister: "White Cross" [mp3]

Burning inside (I cross myself, it doesn't help)...
Because I'm not smart enough (I'm digging into hot white)...
Learning not to lie (we cross it out and stay away)...

Burning inside we cross it out and stay away...

Hotcha! Hank