R.I.P. Isaac The Cat

Yesterday I had to have Isaac the cat put down at the age of 19.  Sweetpea and I had adopted him from the Milwaukee Human Society way back in the spring of 1995, and he's been with me ever since.  Nineteen years.  Sweetpea was gone by the spring of '96.

And his passing is reason enough to post to HOT POOP for the first time in more than a year.  He was the greatest cat I have ever known because he and I found that perfect spot between independence and cloying.  In other words, we gave each other just the right amount of love/attention/companionship as either of us required.  He was always around, but rarely trampled underfoot, you know?

Isaac was a very small cat, that's the first thing you need to know about him.  He typically weighed between 6 and 7 pounds, though in these last few months had dropped down to a smidge over 5.  I wouldn't say he looked skinny, or unhealthy, and having lived to the ripe old age of 19, he was certainly the picture of health right up to the end, but damn was he lean.  Not an ounce of fat to be found on him.

The second thing to know about Isaac was that he was never a very active cat.  His favorite activity was sitting in an open window and chittering at birds and squirrels.  Beyond that, he showed little interest in toys, would do a couple sprints a day from one end of the house to the other, and otherwise enjoyed attacking a moving hand beneath a blanket.  Oh, and when he was younger, he could jump to amazing heights.  Somewhere, there is a picture of him sitting on top of a door that he had jumped up to from a bed.  I shit you not.  I was sitting right there, and watched him leap high enough to grab the top of the door with his front paws and pull himself up.

I don't claim to understand feline sexuality, but I believe Isaac was at the very least bi-sexual.  On many occasions I would find him mounted on Eno, humping Eno's tailbone.  Eno looked confused, and Isaac just looked at me like he wanted me to get the fuck outta the room.  Ahh, the bachelor lifestyle!

After Eno died back in the summer of 2011, I wondered if Isaac would become despondent, because beyond the humping, Isaac and Eno were very good companions.  Eno particularly enjoyed cleaning Isaac, and the size different was such that Isaac could easily curl up inside a curled-up Eno to the extent that you could barely see Isaac within all that black and white fur.  I don't believe Isaac got despondent, being mostly an independent soul, but he did get more affectionate with me in the last three years, and for that I am ultimately grateful.

Isaac left this world in about the best way possible, I believe. I was holding him in my arms when Dr. Berg gave him the injection, and I was cooing "goodnight sweet prince" and "goodbye sweet Isaac" over and over into his ears that could not hear, and he was warm, and he was smiling.  Isaac was loved.  It may have only been Eno and me, but I believe it was more than enough to keep him going for nineteen years.

Rest in peace, Isaac.  Ha ba na da!  A boojee-boojee boo!

Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 18 December 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken = $8.45 + $1.55 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 Sandy Hook

Japandroids:  Celebration Rock:  "The House That Heaven Built"  [mp3]

After the shit that went down in Connecticut this morning, I found myself sitting at my desk playing all of the loudest, most anthemic and energizing music I could find on my hard drive.  Music to combat the deep sadness, music to express the frustrated anger in the wake of another senseless atrocity.  Music to fight the tears.

(Gun control, video games, the mental health system, our economy, etcetera etcetera...)

I'm simply not interested in the same dull round of talking heads making the same tired points about the same old causes of murder.  I don't particularly give a shit about what Reddit has to say, just like you could give a fuck about what I'm about to say...

Twenty little kids killed this morning, among others, and you know as well as I do that this won't be the last time.  And even though today's tragedy feels like the worst one yet, you know as well as I do that it won't feel like the worst forever, because every new one is the worst one yet.  And you know you'll cry again at your desk at work, and you just hope no one notices because it wrongly feels wrong to cry at fucking work at your fucking desk, but goddammit, the shit just keeps going down and there is no other answer except that some people are simply fucked in the head, but that's no fucking answer, is it?

So right now I just want to dance and sing and bang my fists on the coffee table and I dunno, celebrate the fact that I'm alive and singing and banging my fists on the fucking coffee table.

I hope there were some small mercies in that school this morning.  I hope we all are shown a little mercy when our time comes.  Sadly, I think that's the best we can hope for.

Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 11 December 2012

MEAL:  2 Vegetable Spring Rolls + 1 small order Chicken & Pea Pods = $6.95 + $1.05 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 255

Tom Zé:  Estudando a Bossa (Nordeste Plaza):  "Roquenrol Bim-Bom"  [mp3]

Tom Zé is one of my absolute favorites, but because he is Brazilian and sings in Portuguese, I don't understand a single word.  I think my love, despite the language barrier, is a testament to the musicality of his singing, and the strength of the songs themselves - endlessly inventive, exciting, even joyous.

A strange man from an alien culture, making often weird and sophisticated music, with plenty of nods and winks (Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da).  For more than forty years.  For me, he's the Brazilian Zappa, and that's about the highest praise I can offer.

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 04 December 2012

MEAL:  3 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 3 Vegetable Spring Rolls = $6.90 + $1.10 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 254

Long Fin Killie:  Valentino:  "Matador"  [mp3]

Cows are slow, dumb animals, except that they can run as fast (or faster) than the average human, and when part of a herd, exhibit that so-called "herd mentality" that is frankly, quite chilling.

I lived for a year in Helenville, a very small, unincorporated farming town in south-central Wisconsin.  Our only neighbors, really, were Jerry and Sheri Vanderpoel, who owned the farm next to us, about a half-mile up the road.  They were an older couple, in their sixties, who's children had long ago flew the coop (literally!), and so because of age and circumstance, the Vanderpoels had thinned their herd of Holsteins to about fifty head, and even then, good ol' Jerry had a hard time managing them, because in the year I lived there, I probably had to help corral escaped cows about six or seven times.

In doing so, I ultimately found myself sunk several inches deep into the aromatic muck of the cow pen next to the barn, surrounded by fifty cows, several of which would inevitably start circling me, like seemingly slow, dumb sharks, or a street gang looking for cash and jewelry.

Here are the two things I learned the hard way about handling cows - first - you gotta let 'em know you're the boss, because cattle herds always have a pecking order, and if they sense weakness in you, they'll think you're just another cow (a small, weak, insignificant cow at that), and so they have no reservations about messing with you, muscling and bullying you around.  Imagine three or five or seven cows doing this simultaneously, me getting jostled and knocked around in the muck by these big beasts in close quarters.

Secondly, I learned that you gotta keep talking to the cows so that they know where you are.  Even though cows have eyes on the sides of their heads, their periphery vision isn't all that great, and they get easily agitated and startled unless you're directly in front of them.  When agitated, well, they jostle and nudge even more than usual, and when startled, they'll buck and kick.

In other words, when dealing with cattle, speak softly and carry a big stick. 

Be non-aggressive, be gentle and friendly and re-assuring in your speech and touch, try looking the cow straight in the eye whenever possible, but have that big stick around to defend yourself because they can, and will, mess you up.

Hotcha!  Hank

Thursday's Fortune: 29 November 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Pineapple Fried Rice = $7.75 + $1.25 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Wednesday's Fortune: 21 November 2012

MEAL:  2 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 small order Chicken & Pea Pods = $7.05 + $1.00 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 13 November 2012

MEAL:  1 Vegetable Spring Roll + 1 Roast Pork Egg Roll + 1 order (8) Crab Rangoon = $5.95 + $1.05 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 253

Zounds:  The Curse Of Zounds:  "Can't Cheat Karma"  [mp3]

Grafton High School cafeteria, circa 1982.  My girlfriend Pamela sat at a large, round table with approximately eight or ten of her girlfriends.  I sat at another large round table with my friends just twenty feet away.  My friends were daring me to do a swan dive onto my girlfriend's table, offering money, and so I egged them on, trying to secure more cash.  When the pool hit $100, I stood up unannounced, accelerated quickly towards the girl's table, and launched myself in a high, graceful arc towards the middle of that round target.  I remember how slowly those couple of seconds lasted before impact.  I remember making eye contact with Sue K during those two seconds, and I remember the horror in her eyes.

It is here that I must tell you that the large round table onto which I was diving was the kind of table that folds in the middle, and on that fateful day that table was not secured, or was simply the kind of table that never secured, and when I landed I was aligned with the gap between the two leaves of the table, and so the whole thing folded under my weight, the two half-circles collapsing in the middle, flipping trays of food upward, and sending nine or eleven sophomore girls screaming from the calamity.

I collected my $100 from my friends, who were roaring with delight at my stunt, with many of the other 500 kids in th cafeteria that day applauding, many of them standing to do so.

I then got a verbal beatdown from Vice-Principal Bliese, a monstrous 6'6" 350 pound man whom everyone feared.  I also got the mop from the janitors and had to clean up the mess I had made. 

I then got suspended the rest of the week (two days, BFD!)...

But the worst of it was the fact that Donna K got grape juice all over her pink cashmere sweater, which I had to replace at a cost of $85, leaving me a whopping $15 for my effort.

Worth it.

Hotcha!  Hank

Thursday's Fortune: 08 November 2012

MEAL:  1 Roast Pork Egg Roll + 1 small order Pork Lo Mein = $5.75 + $1.25 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 252

Camper Van Beethoven:  II & III:  "(We're A) Bad Trip"  [mp3]

Imagine eight to twelve young stoners sitting around a large coffee table in the living room of a Victorian house on Milwaukee's east side circa 1988.  As you might imagine, every last one of those stoners arrived at that powwow with a disposable lighter on their person.

The circles in which I travelled liked to play a game we simply called "The Lighter Game".  The object of the lighter game was to come into possession of somebody else's lighter without their immediate knowledge.  This meant until that person asks "Who's got my fucking lighter?", or until that person left.  As you can imagine, with bongs and pipes being passed around, there was also the tendency for lighters to travel as well.  And of course, being stoned made it more likely for us to forget we've handed off our lighter.

We played this game within the confines of these stoner circles, and at larger parties, where there were many people who had no knowledge of "The Lighter Game", and so the winner of that night's lighter game might have as many as six or eight lighters rattling around in the pocket of their Levis 501 buttonfly jeans.

Anyways, that was kinda our version of CVB's "bad trip".

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 30 October 2012

MEAL:  2 Vegetable Spring Rolls + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken = $6.85 + $1.15 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 251

John Cale:  Paris 1919:  "Antarctica Starts Here"  [mp3]

This is the 1300th post here at HOT POOP.

It took about seven years.  POT HOOP. 
Of course, lately the best you get is fortunes on Tuesdays, and maybe an MP3 for the weekend about 50-60% of the time.  TOP POOH.

What was the point of all this?  What is the point?  POP HOOT.

A barren, windy intellect in a cold and lonely place.  I've come so far over these seven years, to arrive at a place so fucking distant from where I intended all this to go.  HOP POOT.

Where do I go from here?  How do I get back?

Hotcha!  Hank

Friday's Fortune: 26 October 2012

MEAL:  1 order (6) Steamed Dumplings + 1 small order Hunan Pork = $6.85 + $1.15 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 16 October 2012

MEAL:  2 Vegetable Spring Rolls + 1 small order Chicken & Pea Pods = $6.65 + $1.35

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 250

Hank Mohaski:  Revolution & Pleasure:  "Malarky, Part Twelve"  [mp3]

I apologize for foisting another one of my tunes upon you so soon after the last time, but during last night's VP debate, Joe Biden used the word "malarky", which is my fourth favorite word (yes, I have a list), and I felt compelled to share this particular song, probably recorded in 1994 on my old Tascam 4-Track.  Because of the limitations of a cassette 4-track, I couldn't squeeze any bass on this song without making the entire thing sound like absolute shit.  You may think it still sounds like shit without the bass, but I like the song, and in general, I'm happy with this recording, despite the lack of bass.

Malarky man plays bomb scenarios of little one-act plays that blow up in his face.  Malarky man shows swingsets flat fall, and purple lips the size of throw pillows with sutured fringe that bled on Sundays.  Malarky man blows darts underground, planting them in the flesh of a rose named Dave.  Porcupine of horse he became, lost among the angels in the city of Los Angeles.  Malarky man made to find all the pockets of wants on the leathered daughter of a drunkstore mogul.  In cemeteries and dry bathtubs.  Alone, and amongst pimpled heathens of discovery.  Malarky man made to meditate on meant with nothing more than a blind eye for a brain, and a marmalade memory, now he cries for triggers soft and lame between missives from heaven that boom and smart 'scapes.  "Bunch of goddamned malarky" said the twisted, toothless old man.

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 09 October 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken = $8.40 + $1.60 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 249

Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band:  The Spotlight Kid:  "Blabber N'Smoke"  [mp3]

2012 has become the election of the percentages. 

First it was the 99% and the 1%.  I won't get into the whole scope of that except to say that according to the Congressional Budget Office, between 1979 and 2007, the top earning 1 percent of Americans have seen their after-tax-and-benefit incomes grow by an average of 275%, compared to around 40-60% for the lower 99 percent.

Then a few weeks ago a video emerged of Mitt Romney speaking at a $50,000/plate fundraiser back in May 2012, saying

"There are 47% of the people who will vote for the president no matter what. All right, there are 47% who are with him, who are dependent upon government, who believe that they are victims, who believe the government has a responsibility to care for them, who believe that they are entitled to health care, to food, to housing, to you-name-it."

Mitt Romney believes that if you are a Democrat, you are de facto a helpless, possibly lazy, victim who cannot take care of yourself.  Mitt Romney said these things to a room full of people each giving him $50k.  Mitt Romney must be voting for Barack Obama.

And now, within the last week, a 2010 video has emerged of Paul Ryan saying that 60% of Americans enjoy more dollars worth of benefits from the government than the amount they pay in taxes, and that this 60% of Americans are "takers versus makers".  This is probably true, or close to being true, but it's less about the numbers and more about the philosophy behind the statement, a poor choice of words perhaps, in order for him to make a quippy rhyme, but nonetheless, the belief that nearly two-thirds of Americans aren't pulling their weight.  I guess that means there's a 60% chance he's talking about you and me. 

Hmmm...Considering the amount of money spent to keep a congressional office running - staffers, security, travel expenses, operational costs, Paul Ryan is undoubtedly one of those 60% too.  Paul Ryan is a TAKER!  OMFG!

Anyways, I'm 93% certain you don't give a shit about my opinion about any of this, so allow me to say this, and try to disagree - the history of civilization has always been the story of a very small minority of people controlling a vast majority of money and power, and using those tools to exploit and control and even opress a very large majority of people without much wealth or power.

So there's really only one question to ask.  Which side are you on?

C'mon, it's a 50/50 proposition.

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 02 October 2012

MEAL:  4 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 order (8) steamed dumplings = $7.90 + $1.10 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 248

Sylvia Juncosa:  Nature:  "Lick My Pussy, Eddie Van Halen" [mp3]


Sylvia Juncosa is still around, bless her.  Her career started back around 1980, playing keyboards at the age of sixteen for The Leaving Trains.  A couple years later she decided she'd rather play guitar, and started her own band, To Damascus.  Bands are difficult things, and a few years later she went solo and signed with SST.  Nature is her only solo record released on that vaunted label in 1988, but she ended up releasing three more solo records on various indie labels in the next three years.

In 1988, I knew nothing of Sylvia Juncosa, but when I ran across the artwork to this album while flipping through the stacks at Atomic Records, I was intrigued enough to pick it up and flip it over, finding the SST logo on the back, and this song title standing out, making me chuckle.

I think I would say that Sylvia Juncosa was the Marnie Stern of the Grunge era, except Marnie Stern is a much much better guitarist, not to take anything away from Ms. Juncosa, of course, because there's some pretty hot shit going on in this furious instrumental.  From a historical perspective, there were not very many women in the Punk or Grunge movements, much less a female instrumentalist in the indie scene in whole of the '80s (and even '90s), and by the time the Riot Grrl movement caught steam, Sylvia had retreated to Europe, so she was and remains a woman out of time.

Anyways, I think it's impossible to deny the beauty of a song titled "Lick My Pussy, Eddie Van Halen".  It's 100%  RAWK!

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 25 September 2012

MEAL:  2 Vegetable Spring Rolls + 1 small order Pork Lo Mein = $7.05 + $1.95 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 18 September 2012

MEAL:  1 large order Moo Goo Gai Pan = $7.95 + $1.05 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 A Monday In September

Tape Jazz Massacre:  100%:  "Smokin' Aspirin"  [mp3]

Tape Jazz Massacre are two dudes I've known for years, Ornette Yukahiro and Big Jimmmmi Cakefingers.  Some folks from around Madison think that I am Big Jimmmmi, and for the sake of ongoing mystery and TJM mythology and branding, I'll simply say that nobody's ever seen Ornette and I in the same place at the same time either, so...

Tape Jazz Massacre sample and loop and repeat and generally fuck with other people's intellectual property, and try to turn it into something slightly different and maybe original and hopefully interesting.  I'm not sure what the source material is for this song, "Smokin' Aspirin", but my guess is something by Matthew Shipp.  I am 100% sure that I provide the vocals on this song, and that all of it is 100% true, because the name of this album is 100%, and 100% is what Tape Jazz Massacre demand of themselves and those they choose to work with.

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 11 September 2012

MEAL:  6 Roast Pork Egg Rolls = $7.20 + 80¢ tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 247

Hank Mohaski:  Revolution & Pleasure:  "A Star For Everyone"  [mp3]

Did you know I'm a songwriter and musician?  I am, though I'm a bit more idle these days because arthritis has started rearing it's ugly head in my fretting hand.  I started playing guitar around 1982 - barre chords, or "Sabbath chords", as my gang called 'em.  Brick, Smoothy and I had a primitive punk-metal band called The Nadz.  I don't remember much except that we thought we ruled when in fact we half-sucked.  Our songs were pretty solid, if simple, and they were often funny and gross, and sometimes scathing and political, but fuck if we could play our instruments or sing.  I remember a few song titles - "Free Cheese", "Your Dad Is A Fat Asshole, Kyle", "Night Of A Thousand Hobosexuals", and our theme song and title of our one and only album, recorded on a boombox in Brick's basement, "Go, Nadz, Go!"  We played about four house parties in our year+ of existence, and then fizzled out because we half-sucked and only about two people liked us.  I wish I had a copy of our that Go, Nadz, Go! tape, but maybe it's best that I don't.

Skip ahead, past Mumniti (another band for another post, perhaps), to 1994, and I'm living above a sandwich shop in downtown Grafton with two friends and our girlfriends.  It's an enormous 3 bedroom flat, with a living room that's about 20' x 35', and half of it is a 4-track recording space I've set up.  This was the DowntownLivingroomRecorder, from 1988 to 1997.

Revolution & Pleasure was a tape I released in 1995.  "A Star For Everyone" is the last song on the album, and in fact was the last song recorded for the album, around Thanksgiving of '94, as I recall.  I guess this is a pretty typical kind of song for me back then - heavy guitars, basic beats on a busted drum machine, and non-traditional (and often badly sung) vocals.  It might be worth noting that in this particular song, the solo you hear in the middle section is not a guitar, but me vocalizing through a wahwah pedal, trying to sound like a guitar.  I think it works.

Anyways, if you're interested in hearing more of my music, stuff that spans 1988 to 2004, check out this month's EVERYTHINGATHON! podcast, which is all about me and my songs.  18 songs, as a matter of fact.  Something for everyone, perhaps.

http://www.everythingathon.com/podcast.htm

Enjoy!

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 04 September 2012

MEAL:  2 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 small order Moo Goo Gai Pan = $6.85 + $1.15 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Wednesday's Fortune: 29 August 2012

MEAL:  1 Northern Cod Filet Sandwich with Medium Fries and Medium Coke = $8.17

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 246

The Halo Benders:  God Don't Make No Junk:  "On A Trip"  [mp3]

On my way home from work today, I stopped at Pawn America to look for a good and cheap game or two for the PS2.  While browsing the aisle, a woman and her son approached and began flipping through the video game racks as well.

After a time, a very ripe and awful odor quickly overtook our area, and for awhile, we all pretended not to notice the warm and fetid stench, but alas it was only pretend.  There was no possible way one could deny the existence of this overwhelming stank.

Eventually the boy, who was perhaps three years old, said to his mother, "Mommy, I poopeded my pants."

"No kidding," the mother said sarcastically, continuing to flip through the racks of games without pausing once to even look at her pungent son.

I couldn't take it anymore, and made my way out of range, two aisles over.  I found myself looking at Blu-Ray discs.  I don't own a Blu-Ray player.

I would estimate that the woman and her son continued looking at video games for at least another ten minutes.  I couldn't see or smell the kid from where I stood, but I could see the mother, still mindlessly flipping.  I assume the boy was miserable.  I would be too, with pants full of crap and a mother like that.

No kidding.

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 21 August 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Pork Lo Mein = $8.35 + $1.65 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend #245

Brian May & Friends:  Star Fleet Project:  "Starfleet"  [mp3]

One of Brian May's friends on this 1983 project is Eddie Van Halen.  That's pretty much all that matters to a guy like me who believes Eddie is the second greatest rock guitarist after Jimi Hendrix. 

I saw the original Van Halen in concert three times.  Aside from Eddie being the second greatest rock guitarist of all time, I still believe, after all these years and sooo many concerts, that Diamond Dave is the best front man I've ever seen, with the possible exception of Michael Stipe.

I never saw Queen live, nor Jimi, though my dad claimed he and my mom saw Jimi live.  My mom didn't agree.  I can say that one of my earliest memories is going to a Willie Nelson show with my parents when I was about four years old.  Willie Nelson isn't one of Brian's friends on this project.

REO Speedwagon's drummer, Alan Gratzer, is one of Brian's friends.  I saw REO Speedwagon headline The World Series of Rock at Milwaukee County Stadium back in 1981.  That show is significant because it was the first time I smoked weed.  Combined with too much blackberry brandy, and I spent a good chunk of 38 Special's set puking and shitting in a filthy stadium bathroom. 

I don't know if this is true, but I seem to recall being hunched over that disgusting toilet and thinking, "Alan Gratzer is not a good rock'n'roll name."  Meanwhile, five hundred feet away, on the stage erected out in the centerfield bleachers, I hear Donnie Van Zandt singing "Hold on loosely, but don't let go..."

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 14 August 2012

MEAL:  2 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken = $6.95 + $1.05 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Thursday's Fortune: 09 August 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Steamed Dumplings + 1 order (8) Fried Dumplings = $6.98 + $1.02 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 31 July 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken = $8.44 + $1.56 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 244

The Kinks:  "Do You Remember Walter?"  [mp3]

I had just turned onto Wright Street over by MATC, so I was only about half a mile from home.  It was quarter after six, and I was looking forward to watching the Olympics opening ceremony.  I had a bag full of groceries that included a pound of Ranier cherries and a healthy wedge of Double Gloucester, my favorite cheese.  The cheese they roll down a big hill in Gloucester every year, and dozens die. 

....

I was behind a small black car that was behind a dude on a motorcycle, and I had noticed as he made the turn before me, that his bike was jerking a bit, as if the guy had little experience and was popping the clutch too fast whilst not giving it enough gas. 

You know. 

Not long after I had successfully navigated the turn myself, I see his front wheel start to violently wobble, and then, quite suddenly, the front tire jerks to the left and the bike and rider go down fast and hard.

The small black car stops immediately behind him, and I creep around the whole scene and park soon after.

The dude is able to get himself out from under the bike, which can be difficult as his ride probably weighed about 500 pounds, but when he attempts to stand up, his legs crumple and he goes down hard again, rolling around on the asphalt and now wildly trying to peel off his helmet.

By the time I reach him, it's apparent that his left knee is fucked up.  The kneecap is not where it should be, and his leg was bent in an unsettling position.  His bike, meanwhile, is leaking oil like a mofo, and the front brake assembly is smoking rather impressively.  His front brakes had locked up, simple as that.

It's a busy intersection, due to MATC and the fairly large apartment complex facing this street and the accident, so I'm only one of about 15 people that seemingly appear out of nowhere in a matter of seconds.  A middle-aged woman who identified herself as a registered nurse quickly took control of the situation, compelling me and another guy to fireman carry the guy over to the grassy curbside as she keeps his knee immobilized. 

Done and done.

She's taking his pulse, and says he's going into shock, information that a young MATC coed is relaying to the 911 operator via a very gaudy cellphone.  Others are taking pictures and video with their phones.

The first cop is there within a minute, I shit you not.  Perhaps more impressively, a firetruck with a paramedic is there about two minutes later.

The dude was fairly coherent, but definitely in pain.  He would laugh softly from time to time, and somehow that seemed like an appropriate thing to do when suffering a dislocated knee.  The whole thing made me a bit nauseous, so I lit a cigarette and went to take a look at the bike, waiting to give my statement to the officer, which I eventually did.

I wished the fucked-up dude good luck, and drove the last few blocks to my house.  The broadcast of the opening ceremony was well underway on NBC by the time I got home.

I don't really have anything to say about the ceremony at the moment, although I kept thinking that if I had produced it, I might have used nothing but Kinks tunes for the "soundtrack".

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 24 July 2012

MEAL:  2 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 small order Pork Lo Mein = $7.05 + 95¢ tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 243

John Coltrane:  A Love Supreme:  "Psalm"  [mp3]

Earlier today a rather fucked-up individual killed 12 people in a movie theater in Colorado.  We all know this.  We all know it could have been much worse.  I'm trying to avoid knowing any more than that, although it's an impossible task here on the internet.   The chittering of millions, mostly anonymous.  The squawking of pundits we can recognize, if not name. 

So much chittering and squawking back and forth, trying to weave some sort of reason for this latest atrocity, and it's all the usual suspects - lax gun laws, an inadequate mental health system and poor insurance coverage for the mentally ill, video games, a nation that is increasingly apathetic or antagonistic towards God and our saviour the lord Jesus Christ, and some strain of popular music, usually Fucking Metal.  It might also be the president's fault.

I'm sure all these reasons, and many more, somehow contributed to the WHY? of it all, but in the end I'm content to simply believe the killer, James Holmes, broke.  I mean, our brains are such complicated, delicate things, capable of imbalance and unreason, and even when we are relatively rational, we must still somehow make sense of a world that is cold and cruel and often nonsensical, as it always has been.

Why did James Holmes do what he did?  Because there are several billion people on this planet, and some of us are simply defective.  Imbalanced.  Unreasonable.  Fucked up. 

And have easy access to guns.

Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 17 July 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 order (8) Steamed Dumplings = $8.74 + $1.26 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 10 July 2012

MEAL:  2 Vegetable Spring Rolls + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken = $7.05 + 95¢ tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 242

DIIV:  Oshin:  "Air Conditioning"  [mp3]

Sweet holy fuck it has been hot around here the last couple of weeks.  Every day this week the temperature has topped 100 degrees, with two or three of those days hitting 105 or higher to say nothing of the heat index which typically makes it feel another 5 to 10 degrees hotter.

It's been hot just about everywhere around the country, but this is Wisconsin for fucking sake!  Six months from now the temperatures could easily be 100 degrees colder than right now.  I'd like to see Miami or Houston deal with sub-freezing temperatures this Christmas.  I'd like to see the fine folks of Phoenix shoveling snow just once.  Just once, so they can fully appreciate the hellish absurdity of living in a climate that has a 100+ differential in temperature.

It's just not fair, I tells ya, but I suppose air-conditioning is the great equalizer. 

I love you, Frigidaire!

I love you too, DIIV.  Oshin is an awesome album.

Stay cool, everyone.  Global warming aside, it can't stay this hellish forever.

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 03 July 2012

MEAL:  12 Roast Pork Egg Rolls = $13.20 + 80¢ tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 26 June 2012

MEAL:  2 Vegetable Spring Rolls + 1 small order Pork Lo Mein = $7.05 + $1.95 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 19 June 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken = $8.25 + $1.75 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 12 June 2012

MEAL:  2 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 small order Pork Lo Mein = $6.85 + $1.15 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 05 June 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Sweet & Sour Chicken = $8.45 + $1.55 tip

Hotcha!  Hank 

Sideways Foxhole Maneuver

Here's a quality piece of video...Television appearing on The Old Grey Whistle Test circa 1978...

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The End Of The Weekend

Tom Verlaine:  Cover:  "Travelling"  [mp3]

I took a trip to Mad City Music Exchange at around noon today.  As usual, I had a list in my fist, but in particular, I was hoping to score some used Ry Cooder CDs.  To that end, I only came away with one, but such is the life of the collector, such is the thrill and disappointment of the hunt.

What was thrilling today was running across Tom Verlaine's 1984 album, Cover, which would seem to be a fairly difficult album to find here in Madison.  I really like Verlaine, and sometimes even love him, and after acquiring this CD today, I only have one more of his solo albums to find to complete my Verlaine collection, and that's rather exciting.

And after my first listen to this record, I'm rather liking it.  It sounds a little bit dated as far as that 80's production sound goes, but the songs are as strong as one might expect from Verlaine, and I give him credit for utilizing a drum machine, a relatively new piece of gear in 1984.  Aside from a few hired session parts, this is truly a solo effort. 

And I could mention another artist from the 1980s that sounds similar to this, but I'll leave it to you to figure that out...

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 29 May 2012

MEAL:  2 Roast Pork Egg Rolls + 1 small order Pork Lo Mein = $6.85 + $1.15 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 22 May 2012

MEAL:  1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Pepper Steak With Onions = $8.45 + $1.55 tip

Hotcha!  Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 241

John Fahey:  The Dance Of Death & Other Plantation Favorites:  "Dance Of Death" [mp3]

Adam "MCA" Yauch.  George Lindsey.  Maurice Sendak.  Vidal Sassoon.  Donald "Duck" Dunn.  Chuck Brown.  Donna Summer.  Peter Jones.

Death is always busy, but this month of May has seemed particularly final when it comes to the famous.  May they all rest in peace.

Hotcha!  Hank