16 August 2006

HANK RANKS, No.4

THE 9 BEST BLACKADDER HAIRDOS

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09: Prince Edmund, Duke Of Edinburgh: The Black Adder: Rowan Atkinson

The first Blackadder, Prince Edmund, was about as dumb as a bowl of hair, and hey, would ya look at that 'do? This immaculate bowl-cut perfectly captures the pristine dumb that was Prince Edmund, and that is really what this particular list is all about - the way in which the hairstyles and facial hair of the various Blackadder characters brilliantly reflect/illustrate their personalities.














08: Queen Elizabeth I: Blackadder II: Miranda Richardson

Miranda Richardson played Queen Elizabeth I as childlike, a bit mischievous, and altogether insane. The curly red locks and ornate tiara remind me of a girl dressing up and having magic tea parties, wherein she isn't just somebody's little princess, she's a queen. The hairdo and the performance are perfect together.














07: Squad Commander Lord Flasheart: Blackadder Goes Forth: Rik Mayal

Lord Flasheart is a brash and daring flyboy in the Royal Air Force, and his golden, windswept hair and sharp, sweeping golden moustache reflect just that. Indeed, Flasheart's moustache illustrates the vital role facial hair can play in character development, especially in the Blackadder universe. It's also great to have Rik Mayal on this list, in a role so different than his gig as the punk Vivian on The Young Ones.














06: Captain Edmund Blackadder: Blackadder Goes Forth: Rowan Atkinson

Another character made great by the moustache, and in this case, the hat. Yes, sometimes the hat is the hairdo. Trim, sarcastic and self-centered as ever, Captain Blackadder was a coward looking for any way out of World War I that he could find. In the meantime, he cowered in bunkers, under hats and helmets, behind a sharply cut moustache, and he complained.














05: Baldrick: The Black Adder: Tony Robinson

Baldrick is the most timeless of all the Blackadder characters, really. Sure, his hair gets shorter with each subsequent Blackadder series, but he always remains dirty-faced, with open sores and unwashed hair. The first Baldrick, from the original series, was naturally the dirtiest, and the most diseased, with the longest, filthiest hair. But damn if he didn't have some cunning plans, sir.














04: Lord Percy Percy: Blackadder II: Tim McInnerny

Well, with Lord Percy Percy it's an anti-hairdo, innit? It's really about insanely receded hairline that presents a great wall of a forehead. An unavoidable forehead that represents the arrogance and sense of entitlement that is Lord Percy Percy. But it would be wrong to neglect what hair is there, hair that hugs his skull like a frightened rabbit. Or something...














03: General Sir Anthony Cecil Hogmanay Melchett: Blackadder Goes Forth: Stephen Fry

Is it the slick, oily hair with a part as wide as the Western Front? Or is it the big, bold moustache cascading down like mustard gas? Either way, Melchett was a total nutcake.















02: Prince George IV of Wales: Black Adder The Third: Hugh Laurie

Prince George is a prattling, silly and dimwitted ponce...A manchild of circumstance and leisure, with a fine, powdered wig to prove it. Prince George is just smart enough to understand how much power he has, especially in relation to his butler, Edmund Blackadder, yet in the end he is essentially a kind-hearted fellow. I often wonder if this was Hugh Laurie's warm-up for his subsequent portrayal of Bertie Wooster, which is essentially a much more nuanced and subdued version of this character. Of course, they are both the exact opposite of Laurie's current performance as the likeably poisonous Dr. Gregory House. Great stuff, all around from Mr. Laurie. Tally ho, my fine saucy young trollop! Onward to Number One!














01: King Richard IV: The Black Adder: Brian Blessed

There was no real Richard IV of England, but Brian Blessed's portrayal of this fictional King Richard IV makes me think of the REAL King Richard I, aka Richard The Lion-Hearted. It's the lustrous mane of hair and beard encircling his ruddy face (not to mention the eyebrows) that makes this the best hairdo in the Blackadder oeuvre. Blessed plays Richard IV as loud and lusty, drunk and gluttonous, fearless and intimidating, but somewhat dim-witted. A lunatic beast of a man who does look like a lion. It's a role that demands alot of beard, and Blessed delivers.

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