Guts

*BREAKING NEWS*

Earlier this evening Homeland Security Director Michael Chertoff announced that in light of Thursday's terrorism arrests in the United Kingdom, the United State's commercial airline industry was immediately banning all books from carry-on baggage, and must be checked with luggage stowed in the aircraft's hold.

"Books can, and often have, been used as weapons, most often to bludgeon people in the head, and we must now confront that fact directly." Chertoff said. "Obviously, heavy books, such as the Holy Bible or the Koran, must be kept off commercial flights because they pose the most immediate threat to innocent civilians, but we must also consider the dangers of Harlequin romance paperbacks, the collected works of Tom Clancy, the Harry Potter series, and rolled up copies of In Style Magazine, to name just a few titles illustrating exactly how pervasive the threat of literature truly is. At this critical juncture in the War On Terror, Americans must be more diligent than ever, and that diligence begins with an understanding of the weapons and tactics being used against us. More than ever, books are a crucial part of their arsenal."

A contemplative and slightly morose Val Kilmer wandered aimlessly around Hermosa Beach on Friday, refusing to speak to reporters.




















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