19 August 2006

"Hey, you got your religion in my chocolate!"

"No, you got your chocolate on my religion."

I looooooove it (albeit sarcastically) when people claim to see the Virgin Mary in different places and everyday objects, and this past week, a worker at Bodega Chocolates in Fountain View, California claims to have discovered the Virgin Mary in a pile of chocolate drippings at the plant.

Some of these sightings are actually rather compelling, but in this particular instance...Well, I'm sorry, but this pile of chocolate drippings doesn't look so much like the Virgin Mary as it looks like an owl. C'mon, you know I'm right. I'm not saying that owls aren't sacred creatures in their own right (ask me about alien abductions sometime), but as far as I know, an owl never gave birth to the son of some people's God.

Speaking of the son of some people's God, Jesus Christ actually did return to earth this past week, and ironically, he materialized in a vat of chocolate in Kenosha, Wisconsin. The problem was - he found himself stuck in the delicious ooze, and was only freed on the third day by firemen bearing vodka.

The final ironic twist to all of this, is that while the faithful have begun flocking to Fountain View to pray to the chocolate owl, Jesus is currently sitting alone in a room at a Motel 6 in Kenosha, eating bag after bag of Reese's Peanut Butter Cup miniatures, and wondering why nobody is visiting him.

Hotcha! Hank

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

but don't you want to be someone who finds the crying mary? i do. for what if she really *is* crying & then you just blasphemed all up on a sign from God?? what then?

August 25, 2006 9:11 AM  

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