20 November 2007


There is always hope in fantasy football. There is always the chance that Carson Palmer is going to hook up with Chad Johnson for 3 or 4 touchdowns and a ton of yardage, or that Packer's RB Ryan Grant might explode for 200 rushing yards and a couple of touchdowns. Maybe the Bears' return magician Devin Hester will run back a couple of kicks. Maybe Nick Barnett makes a dozen tackles and forces a fumble or two.
There is always hope, though sometimes hope is all ya really have, because if you get really real about the fantasy football, sometimes you just know defeat is hanging heavy in the air, you look across that matchup page, and you see the doom, the bad matchups, the hot hands.
Thee Fractioneer wrote that smack talk days before our Week Eleven matchup.
He divined the numbers. He saw what I saw. He saw Chad Johnson continue to play second fiddle to his own TJ Houshmandzadeh, never mind that Chris Henry is back in the Cincinnati mix, and had a better game than Ocho-Cinco, catching a TD, something Johnson hasn't done since WEEK TWO!!!!!
Week Two! Fuck!
One can hope Palmer and Johnson hook up for 3 or 4 scores, but instead you get a middling game made slightly worse with a fumble. When the doom is lingering, these things tend to happen.
Meanwhile, Ryan Grant has a solid day running the ball, but he doesn't go off for 200, and he doesn't find the endzone, and hell, he only catches one lousy ball in the Packers' pass-happy offense.
Over on Just Another Team, the Saints' Reggie Bush has what amounts to a worthless game against Houston - a meager 34 rushing yards (2.3 avg), and though he catches a dozen passes for 70 yards, it's mostly garbage yardage in the waning minutes of a lost game. But in a PPR (point per reception) fantasy league, those twelve receptions are HUGE...More than half of his FP total...
When the writing is already on the wall, things tend to play out this way...
Tony Gonzalez gets shut down. Kevin Jones doesn't figure into a game wherein the Lions must pass pass pass to catch up. Chicago's defense can't figure out Matt Hasselbeck, which was a double whammy this week against Just Another Team...And Atari Bigby might have my favorite name in the NFL (sorry Adimchinobi Echemandu), but he was no better and no worse than any of the other half dozen DBs I've played so far this season. I'm just happy he's a Green Bay Packer.
If you take a look at this week's score card (click image to enlarge), you'll see that three of Just Another Team's offensive players have their FP totals in blue...That's because they made tackles after interceptions or fumbles, and together, those three guys had as many tackles as Atari Bigby.
Or Troy Polamalu, who injured his knee this week, so now I've got to drop him and find somebody else for next week's matchup against the Mana Junkies.
I lost to the Mana Junkies by 3 points in Week Three, and so even though our beloved Winona Rough Ryders are currently favored by 33 points, I can only hope. I can only hope Hines Ward bounces back. I can only hope Ryan Grant is able to play, cuz I hope I don't have to use Kevin Jones against my own beloved Green Bay Packers and their stubborn defense.
Marshawn Lynch is still hurt. This creates a bit of dread. Chad Johnson has some sort of skin condition and he ain't getting any love. This is a concern.
My point is, I really don't want to lose a second time to the Mana Junkies, but on any given weekend, anything can happen. Baltimore could very well shut down LaDainian Tomlinson, and Jacksonville could very well quiet Lee Evans, and I might write another recap in which I am sullen, and unable to muster the enthusiasm or pride to mention our beloved Winona Rough Ryders by name more than once (now twice)...
But until next Sunday night, or possibly Monday night in Pittsburgh, I can only hope Patrick Crayton goes off like a motherfucker.
Or possibly Kevin Curtis.
Bernard Berrian? Calvin Johnson?
Who's gonna fill that crucial W/R "flex" position?
The truth is, I tend to leave plenty of points on my bench on any given Sunday. In other words, I don't manage my team as best I can, which means that our beloved Winona Rough Ryders are now 8-3 in spite of my unimpressive 50/50 Genius:Idiot Ratio, which I've mentioned in previous posts.
This week's quote is from the mouth and mind of a coworker of mine, Scheiby, as we smoked out on the deck in the cold, grey, damp November afternoon...
"Man, those old ZZ Top records sound sooo fucking warm and creamy."
Indeed, they do.
And if I may add a quote of my own...
"Chris Cooley can chew my noodle."
Hotcha! Hank

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