ROUGH RYDERS: Week Thirteen

WEEK THIRTEEN!

The final week of the regular season, and I'd call this week's matchup against Team Excelsior a "tune-up" for next week's playoff game, except that I'm gonna be playing Team Excelsior again, for a third time this season, in Round One...

In our two regular season matchups, our beloved Winona Rough Ryders beat Team Excelsior by an average of 97.5 FP, and that's a ton of fucking points no matter what the league rules might be...

And consider the fact is that our beloved Winona Rough Ryders are peaking at exactly the right time, heading into those playoffs. For the third time in the past five weeks, we've had the highest team score in the APFL, so here's another one of those Viagra banners for yr eyeballin' pleasure...In fact, the 231.10 FP we scored this week was our team's highest tally of the season, so I'd say we're the dark horse in the APFL this season, which seems appropriate, considering our name...

So, how did our beloved Winona Rough Ryders amass such an awesome score?

LaDainian Tomlinson had a damn fine game, for starters...177 rushing yards and 2 TDs...Add a couple of catches and it all adds up to 34.7 FP, and only the second time this season that my #1 draft pick has led the team in points...Not that LT hasn't been great and valuable, but it surely does seem that San Diego misses Coach Marty.

Hines Ward had a monster game against Cincinnati - 11 catches, 90 yards, and 2 TDs...That, and a tackle, was good for 33 FP, and you can see my previous post for some more Hines Ward man-crush lovin'...

El Matador, Tony Romo, threw for 309 yards and 4 touchdowns against my beloved Green Bay Packers, and you can bet your ass I was rooting against Romo the entire game, because obviously this week's matchup against Team Excelsior was a week I didn't need Romo's typical fantasy excellence...Despite LT's huge game, Romo remains the Rough Ryders' top fantasy scorer...In the end, I'm sad to report the Packers lost, and Romo was good for 31.10 FP.

Interestingly enough (to me anyways), if I had benched Romo, just for some cheap thrills, our beloved Winona Rough Ryders would have scored exactly 200 FP.

Speaking of the Packers-Cowboys game, Ryan Grant continues to shine for the Packers and Rough Ryders...He's been much more consistent than Kevin Jones, and having watched both those RBs, I can also say Grant is the more exciting and explosive of the two...One of the highlights of the Packers-Cowboys game was his 62 yard TD run, which left the other 21 players on the field completely in his dust...Good stuff...23.8 FP...

Also in that Packers-Cowboys game, kicker Mason Crosby hit two very long FGs, three PATs, and even a couple of tackles, due to the Packers lackluster special teams play...14 FP, which is good stuff for a kicker...

And I'm happy to report that Tony Gonzalez bounced back quite well from his last two disappointing outings...This week Gonzo had 10 catches for 140 yards, which is great for WRs, let alone a TE like Gonzalez. While it's unfortunate that he didn't catch a TD or two, he did manage a couple of tackles thanks to Damon Huard and Tyler Thigpen.

*snicker*

Otherwise, the rest of the team performed adequately, or even disappointingly...

Chad Johnson was on the other side of the line in that Steelers-Bengals game, and most people might think Ocho-Cinco's and Hines Ward's stats were flip-flopped...They might say that Johnson should have caught 11 balls for 90 yards and a pair of TDs, and Ward should have caught a mere 6 passes for 86 yards and no scores, and it would be hard to disagree...But no, it was Johnson who was mostly stifled this weekend by the Steelers' dominating defense, while Hines Ward was able to roam quite freely in the Bengals' inept secondary, and in the end, their performances were hardly surprising if one is willing to trust the matchups...

Speaking of Chad Johnson - the hate continues to get sprayed in his general direction...First, in the Fox pre-game show way back at 11am CST, Frank Caliendo acted out Ocho-Cinco's endzone cameraman antics from the previous week, turning the camera to show a fan sign that read "Hey, Chad - don't forget - Bengals 4-7".

The Bengals are now 4-8, after losing to the Steelers 24-10, and one of the reasons they lost can be attributed directly to Chad Johnson, and a play that John Madden sagely pointed out. This is the source of this week's Quote Of The Week...

It was 4th and 17, with a couple minutes left in the game, and the Bengals were marching towards the Steelers' endzone...A TD, and the Bengals were legitimately back in the game, with a chance to win...So...It's 4th and 17, and Carson Palmer connects with Chad Johnson along the sideline, about 14 yards out, and it wasn't an acrobatic sideline catch, but one in which Johnson was able to set both of his feet, and if he had wanted to, pivoted upfield and ran or dove for those additional 3 yards and a first down (or more) to keep the drive alive, and a chance at victory...Instead, Johnson planted both of his feet, looked at the oncoming tackler, and hopped backwards and out of bounds, 3 yards short of that crucial 1st down.

"It's that big red stick out there! It's not like they're hiding anything!" - John Madden, in response to Chad Johnson's stupid/defeatist play...

To finish this week's recap, I guess I'll say that I went into this season liking, and maybe even loving, Chad Johnson...The guy's got serious skills, but having him on my fantasy team for the first time, and paying closer attention to his playing and his personality, I can't say that I have much love left for the guy either...I kinda feel bad for all the hate that's been heaped upon him, especially this year, but the guy has kind of earned it...Yeah, it's gotta suck to be half-wasted in that high-powered offense because the Bengal defense is soooo fucking horrible, but when you're out on that field, whether yr making that kinda money or not, you play the game hard, and you enjoy playing the game, and you lose with some dignity and class. Clowntime is over. At 4-8 it's officially over.

After Week Thirteen, I am happy and proud to announce that our beloved Winona Rough Ryders finished the regular season in third place, with a record of 10-3, and will be playing Team Excelsior again next week in the first round of the APFL playoffs.

Looking beyond that, it would seem that the Vocal Removers actually lost this week to The Hairy Nipples, dropping them to second place behind Just Another Team. Which means that if and when we beat Team Excelsior again in Round One, our beloved Rough Ryders will face the Vocal Removers in the Semi-Finals...You can bet your ass that I'll be rooting extra hard for a Steelers victory over the Patriots, because that takes the undefeated season off the table, and maybe Bellichick actually gives all his scoring studs some rest, which would cripple the Vocal Removers.

A boy can dream...

Hotcha! Hank