Tuesday's Fortune: 24 May 2011

MEAL: 1 order (8) Crab Rangoon + 1 small order Chicken With Chinese Vegetables = $8 + $1 tip

Hotcha! Hank

Tuesday's Fortune: 08 June 2010

MEAL: 1 order Empress Chicken = $8.55 + $1.45 tip


Hotcha! Hank

Night Of The Living Bacon!

I was trying to think of something clever to write about bacon.

I thought about making fun of the internet's creepy and zombie-like obsession with bacon, but couldn't really come up with anything more astute or interesting than the idea that the vast majority of people on the internet are either too witless or too scared to have an original, non-zombie thought.

"BAAAAAACONNNNNN!!!!!"

Eventually, enough of the "right" internet pundits laud the glories of bacon, and pretty soon everybody is doing the same. You would think that bacon was some brilliant new discovery, the way we gush about it, but bacon has always been fucking delicious. Long before the internet and your low-carb diet, babycakes. I guess if there's a silver lining in all this, at least it can be said that the internet has actually embraced something worthwhile for a change. Unlike zombies or Nathan Fillion.

"FIIIILLLLLIONNNNNN!!!!!!"

I enjoy bacon. Not as much as butterscotch pudding, but my version of the BLT (butterscotch, lettuce and tomato) admittedly tastes like shit, so I won't bother going there...

I enjoy bacon, but cannot bring myself to creepily adore it. What I can do is create a BACON tag, and hope to drive some traffic towards this useless blog.

Now, would somebody please do everybody a favor, and write some fanfic regarding bacon and a zombified Nathan Fillion? Or a regular Nathan Fillion eating Zombie Bacon™?

That way, most of us win.

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 108

Zombi: Surface To Air: "Digitalis" [mp3]

I believe I'm showing my age when I tell you that I don't care, and have never really cared, about zombies...And what I mean is that we've got a full-blown zombie "thing" happening out there in CultureDataLand™ right now, especially among Gen Y and whatever the current teenage generation is called, and I'm ambivalent about it...

And when I say there's a full-blown zombie thing happening right now, they (the kids) know exactly what I'm talking about...I'm not exactly sure when it started, but off the top of my head, I'd rattle off films like Shaun Of The Dead, 28 Days Later, 28 Weeks Later, Zach Snyder's well-liked 2004 remake of Dawn Of The Dead, and next month's remake of Day Of The Dead...Ya got the amazing book World War Z (even I loved it) and The Zombie Survival Guide (both by Max Brooks, son of Mel), the recent mashup novel Pride & Prejudice & Zombies (which has already been optioned for a film), and the popularity of such video games as Resident Evil, Silent Hill, Dead Rising, Left 4 Dead, Stubbs The Zombie, and Dead Space...

I'm on the older end of Gen X, and we had the whole vampire thing happening. Some cultural critics have theorized that it had to do with AIDS, and that makes as much sense as any other theory I could toss out...Our generation came of age with such films as Werner Herzog's remake of Nosferatu, Coppola's Dracula (Winona!), Interview With A Vampire, The Lost Boys, Buffy The Vampire Slayer (the movie and the TV series), The Hunger, Vampire Hunter D, From Dusk Till Dawn, and the Blade trilogy...In terms of TV, I could also mention The Night Stalker, The X-Files, and Angel...

Of course, I would argue that Gen X was also the heyday of the whole alien thing, and also serial killer culture, but I won't blather...

No, what I want to say is that it seems pretty apparent that right now the whole zombie thing is gaining serious momentum, and since I believe that on the internet I am an old compared to most I encounter around the tubes, this whole zombie thing is a Gen Y and beyond thing...

Why is that?

Is it a cultural representation of the veterans of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan? A response to the walking wounded stumbling off airplanes at American airports, limbs missing and souls stunned...Shell-shocked and leg-locked...

That's my best guess...What you got?

(Like I said, I won't blather.)

Hotcha! Hank

A Word With Moshammer's Ghost

zombie also zombi

Function: noun

Etymology: Louisiana Creole or Haitian Creole zonbi, of Bantu origin; akin to Kimbundu nzúmbe ghost

Date: circa 1871

1: usually zombi

a: the supernatural power that according to voodoo belief may enter into and reanimate a dead body

b: a will-less and speechless human in the West Indies capable only of automatic movement who is held to have died and been supernaturally reanimated

2 a: a person held to resemble the so-called walking dead ; especially automaton

b: a person markedly strange in appearance or behavior

3: a mixed drink made of several kinds of rum, liqueur, and fruit juice

Hotcha! Hank