Celebrity Blog Rip-Off Maneauver # 2

Agent: "So, here's the deal. It's a remake of The Wild One as a slapstick comedy."

Zach Braff: "No fucking way. No no no."

Agent: "Hear me out, Zach.!"

Zach: "No way. That's just stupid."

Agent: "You'd play the Brando role, which means narration, just like you do on Scrubs."

Zach: "I'm listening."

Agent: "You and all the bikers would ride Vespas and scooters instead of big motorcycles."

Zach: "I'm on mine right now!"

Agent: "There ya go!"

Zach: "But I drive a scooter on Scrubs already...And we do tons of slapstick too."

Agent: "There ya go! It's another piece of the Zach Braff jigsaw puzzle. A perfectly natural fit. The next logical step."

Zach: "I dunno man. I wanna do serious films."

Agent: "Zach, baby, you've got your whole life to make serious films, I'm telling you, this can't miss."

Zach: "You haven't convinced me."

Agent: "How about Will Ferrell as Chino, the leader of the rival gang, played by Lee Marvin in the original."

Zach: "Ferrell won't do supporting for a guy like me."

Agent: "No, I talked to his people. He's interested. And Scarlett Johansson is penciled in to play the female lead - your romantic interest."

Zach: "She's sexy."

Agent: "She's sexy, and she's good box office."

Zach: "But she doesn't do slapstick."

Agent: "Are you kidding, Zach, she can do anything. Did you see her in Woody's latest? She was hilarious."

Zach: "She is sexy."

Agent: "Yes, she is sexy. So, whattya think?"

Zach: "I dunno, Barry."

Agent: "Alright, how about this...Black Rebel Motorcycle Club does the soundtrack."

Zach: "The entire soundtrack?"

Agent: "The whole shebang! And it's perfect because that was the name of Brando's gang in the original. See where this is going?"

Zach: "They're one of my favorite bands!"

Agent: "I know they are, baby! I'm telling you - this could be huge!"

Zach: "They won't change your life like The Shins, but they're damn good."

Agent: "Yes, they are...So...you in?"

Zach: "Listen, I'm in Starbuck's parking lot right now. Let me down a vente Caramel Macchiato to clear my head, and I'll get back to you."

Agent: "Cheers, mate."

*click*

Hotcha!
Hank