HANK RANKS No. 30

My 1 Favorite Episode From Each Of The Simpsons' First 20 Seasons

I consider The Simpsons the greatest television show of all time, and while it isn't as consistently brilliant as it was in earlier seasons ( 8 is my favorite), it is still reliably entertaining, and still capable of a good surprise from time to time, and at least 1 or 3 episodes every season that are destined to be classics. If you say The Simpsons sucks nowadays, I'd say you're just an ingrate.

These are not my 20 favorite episodes of The Simpsons of all time. If it were that list, half of them would probably be from Season 8. No, this is a list of my favorite episode from each of the first 20 seasons of the show. It's not ranked, but simply listed in reverse chronology, so this probably shouldn't be called a HANK RANKS, but whatever.

For the record, Homer Vs. The Eighteenth Amendment is my absolute. Favorite. Episode. Ever.

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20: No Loan Again, Naturally [#LABF03 - 08Mar09] Wherein Homer takes out another home equity loan to pay for his annual Mardi Gras party, after which the Simpsons lose their house. Ned Flanders buys and then rents it back to the Simpsons, who proceed to take advantage of Ned by making him constantly make repairs at all hours of the day and night, which finally leads Ned to evict the Simpsons once again. Lenny: "Homer, I always wonder - how can you afford this party year after year?" Homer: "Because, I have this magical thing called a 'home equity loan'. I borrow all the money I want, and the house gets stuck with the bill... Hehehehe...Sucker." Lenny: "Hm? I'm not sure that's how it works." Homer: "Fine, mister sceptical, give me back your beads."

19: The Debarted [#KABF06 - 02Mar08] Wherein Principal Skinner slips a mole (voiced by Topher Grace) into Springfield Elementary to befriend and spy on the "Bart Simpson Operation" to get five steps ahead of their pranks. Bart initially suspects Milhouse is the mole, before catching on to the real culprit. Meanwhile, Homer gets a sweet ass loaner car that he doesn't want to return. Bart: "Look new kid, I'm the head hamster in this habitrail, capiche?" New Kid: "Well, maybe there's a new guinea pig in your cage. Capiche that?" Bart: "Oh, I capiche, I capiche just fine." New Kid: "Well, you just keep on capiche-ing." Classmates (in unison): "Oooooooooh!"

18: 24 Minutes [#JABF14 - 20May07] Wherein Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney plan to detonate a stinkbomb at a Springfield Elementary bake sale, and it's up to the school's Counter-Truancy Unit (CTU) to stop their dastardly plan. Starring Bart as Jack Bauer, and Lisa as Chloe O'Brien in this homage to 24. Featuring the voices of Kiefer Sutherland and Mary Lynn Rajskub. Marge: "If someone did eat Bart's shorts, they'd have a tummy full of pocket garbage!"

17: My Fair Laddy [#HABF05 - 26Feb06] Wherein Lisa is Henry Higgins to Groundskeeper Willie's Eliza Doolittle in The Simpsons' own warped version of My Fair Lady. Meanwhile, the company that makes Homer's blue pants no longer makes Homer's blue pants. Coach Krupt: "Today we're going to play a game that's as old as pain itself...BOMBARDMENT!" Millhouse: "I'm intrigued. What are the rules?" Coach Krupt: "Duck or die! BOMBARDMENT!!"

16: Sleeping With The Enemy [#FABF19 - 21Nov04] Wherein a disastrous party thrown for Bart leads Marge to believe she's been overmothering her children, so she turns her attentions to somebody else who might need some mothering - Nelson Muntz, who actually moves into the Simpsons' home, creating all sorts of weird dynamics and strange situations as a result. Meanwhile, Lisa has a big butt. Ralph: "Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck, duck..." Bart: "Say 'goose' you stupid freak!" Ralph (running from room): "Waaaaaaaaaaahhhh!"

15: Diatribe Of A Mad Housewife [#FABF05 - 25Jan04] Wherein Marge writes a romance novel with thinly veiled characters who's actions suggest that she is in love with Ned Flanders, an idea that gets the whole town gossiping. Will Homer read the book and get jealous, or will his new job as an ambulance driver take up all his time? I won't say, but I will say this episode guest stars Thomas Pynchon. Homer: "Marge! I figured it out! Lee Harvey Oswald wanted to steal the Jack Ruby." Marge: "Jack Ruby was a man, not a jewel." Homer: "Ooh, I was so close."

14: How I Spent My Strummer Vacation [#DABF22 - 10Nov02] Wherein Homer (and plenty of secondary characters, as usual) goes to Mick Jagger's Rock'n'Roll Fantasy Camp, and we are served every lame Rock cliche, pun and bad joke imaginable, but there are a ton of special guests willing to make fun of themselves, so in the end it's fairly fucking epic. Homer: "Uh, Mr. Seltzer?" Brian Setzer: "It's 'Setzer'." Homer: "No, I think it's Seltzer."

13: Weekend At Burnsie's [#DABF11 - 07Apr02] Wherein Homer gets into a beef with some crows, ends up on medicial marijuana, and the remainder of the episode is, well, Homer on dope. And the stoners rejoiced! Not even an appearance by Phish could ruin gold like this. Homer: "For me, the '60's ended that day in 1978."

12: Worst Episode Ever [#CABF08 - 04Feb01] Wherein Comic Book Guy has a heart attack, which leads to Bart and Milhouse "babysitting" the Android's Dungeon until Comic Book Guy can return. While he recovers, Comic Book Guy dates Agnes Skinner, and Bart and Milhouse find his secret stash of bootleg videos, many featuring popular townsfolks in embarrassing situations. Comic Book Guy: "Is there a word in Klingon for loneliness? [looks it up in a little book] Ah, yes - Gar-dacchk!"

11: Behind The Laughter [#BABF19 - 21May00] Wherein a VH1-styled expose show called Behind The Laughter takes a raw and candid look behind the scenes of America's favorite family, The Simpsons. 10000% meta. Marge: "Nobody told us how tough it is to raise kids. They almost drove me to fortified wine." Homer: "Then we figured out we could park them in front of the TV. That's how I was raised, and I turned out TV."

10: Lard Of The Dance [#5F20 - 23Aug98] Wherein Homer (and Bart) get into the grease recycling business. Meanwhile, Lisa is chosen to introduce a new student at Springfield Elementary, and this new girl, Alex (Lisa Kudrow), quickly becomes the most popular girl in school, much to Lisa's chagrin. In the end, a massive grease explosion during a school dance makes everything right again in Lisa's world. Ralph [catching a flake of grease on his tongue]: "This snowflake tastes like fish sticks!"

09: The Cartridge Family [#5F01 - 02Nov97] Wherein Homer gets a gun, and kablammo! Ya get one of the darker episodes in Simpsons history. Lenny: "Assault weapons have gotten a lot of bad press lately, but they're manufactured for a reason: to take out today's modern super animals, such as the flying squirrel, and the electric eel."

08: Homer Vs. The Eighteenth Amendment [#4F15 - 16Mar97] Wherein the frontpage of the Springfield Shopper screams ALCOHOL PROHIBITED IN SPRINGFIELD and Homer becomes "The Beer Baron". Homer: "To alcohol - the cause of, and the solution to, all of life's problems."

07: 22 Short Films About Springfield [#3F18 - 14Apr96] Wherein a bored Bart and Millhouse wonder if anything exciting actually ever happens in Springfield, and a subsequent series of vignettes involving a number of secondary characters answers that question in the affirmative. Mr. Burns: "Oh, Tuttle's Sunday trousers! Fear not, I'll get you to a hospital - the only way I know how. Smithers, you infernal ninny, stick your left hoof on that flange, now! Now, if you can get it through your bug-addled brain, jam that second mephitic clodhopper of yours on the right doodad! Now pump those scrawny chicken legs, you stuporous funker!"

06: Lemon Of Troy [#2F22 - 14May95] Wherein some ne'er-do-wells from Shelbyville steal Springfield's lemon tree, and Bart leads a group of friends on a recon mission into the rival town to bring it back home. Radical. Bart: "That lemon tree's a part of our town, and as kids, the backbone of our economy. We'll get it back, or choke their rivers with our dead!"

05: Homer & Apu [#1F10 - 10Feb94] Wherein Homer gets food poisoning from some expired ham (and later a 10 pound bucket of shrimp) at the Kwik-E-Mart, goes undercover for Kent Brockman's Bite Back show, which gets Apu fired, who is then replaced by actor James Woods, who is preparing for a role as a convenience store clerk. Meanwhile, Apu lives with the Simpsons, a song is sung, and Homer finally gets Apu his job back. Apu: "I have come to make amends, sir. At first, I blamed you for squealing, but then I realized, it was I who wronged you. So I have come to work off my debt. I am at your service." Homer: "You're...selling what now?" Apu: "I am selling only the concept of karmic realignment." Homer: "You can't sell that! Karma can only be portioned out by the cosmos." [slams the door] Apu: "He's got me there."

04: A Streetcar Named Marge [#8F18 - 01Oct92] Wherein Marge plays Blanche DuBois in a local production of A Streetcar Named Desire, Homer feels neglected and gets annoyed, and Maggie goes to Ayn Rand School For Tots in the meantime. Lionel Hutz: "Lionel Hutz, Attorney at Law. I'm filing a class-action suit against the director on behalf of everyone who was cut from the play. I also play Mitch!"

03: When Flanders Failed [#7F23 - 3Oct91] Wherein southpaw Ned Flanders quits his job and opens The Leftorium at the Springfield Mall, which fails spectacularly before Mr. Burns saves the day. As a lefty myself, I wholeheartedly echo Mr. Burn's "huzzah!" for good ol' Ned. Mr. Burns [to a tin can]: "Ah, the worm has turned, has it not my tin-plated friend? Look at you, you were once so proud. Feel the wrath of the left hand of Burns!"

02: Treehouse Of Horror (The Simpsons Halloween Special) [#7F04 - 25Oct90] The very first Treehouse Of Horror, wherein Bart and Lisa actually do tell each other scary stories in Bart's treehouse, stories about the Simpsons' night in a haunted house, the Simpsons' abduction by Kang and Kodos, and the truly classic telling of Poe's "The Raven" starring Homer. Lisa [reading crumpled message thrown through vortex from another dimension]: "Quit throwing garbage in our dimension!"

01: Simpsons Roasting On An Open Fire (The Simpsons Christmas Special) [#7G08 - 17Dec89] The very first full episode of The Simpsons, wherein Bart gets a tattoo, Homer doesn't get his Christmas bonus, and a 99-to-1 longshot named Santa's Little Helper joins the family and really is the miracle that saves the Simpsons' christmas in the end. Bart: "Aw come on, Dad. This could be the miracle that saves the Simpsons' Christmas. If TV has taught me anything, it's that miracles always happen to poor kids at Christmas. It happened to Tiny Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs, and it's going to happen to us!" Homer: "Well, okay, let's go. Who's Tiny Tim?"

Hotcha! Hank

HANK RANKS No. 29

My 12 Favorite Groucho Marx Character Names


The Marx Brothers made 12 films together (Love Happy, the 13th, finds Groucho only narrating), about half of which still stand as absolute classics of the Comedy genre, and which still are absolutely hilarious after 70 years. One of my favorite aspects of these films are the names of Groucho Marx's characters. This is a ranking of those twelve names, complete with a little blathering about each.

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12: Gordon Miller; Room Service [1938]
The most pedestrian name of the bunch. I'd venture to say that maybe after 8 films, Groucho Marx was just getting tired or lazy, but character names from two of the Marx Brothers last four films are much higher on this list.

11: Captain Spaulding; Animal Crackers [1930]
There's nothing necessarily funny or unusual about the name Captain Spaulding, but at least this character has a title, and not just some beige suburban name like Gordon Miller.

10: Quentin Quale; Go West [1940]
A couple points for alliteration, and another couple for using the letter Q, which everybody knows is the fifth funniest letter in the alphabet. Minus one point because Go West is my least favorite Marx Brothers film.

09: Rufus T. Firefly; Duck Soup [1933]
Duck Soup was the first of four Marx Brothers film in which Groucho's character had a middle initial in his name, so you'd think this name would be higher on this list, but I'm going to justify the ranking by suggesting that Groucho was just getting warmed up with this maneuver. Not that it really matters, and everybody already knows this, but T is the 18th funniest letter in the alphabet.

08: Professor Quincy Adams Wagstaff; Horse Feathers [1932]
In this film, the one immediately prior to Duck Soup, Groucho's character uses his full middle name, and not just the initial, and it works not only as an allusion to President John Quincy Adams, but also to elongate the name to funny proportions without turning into outright absurdity. This was 1932, after all. BTW and FTIW - Horse Feathers is my favorite Marx Brothers film.

07: Wolf J. Flywheel; The Big Store [1941]
This was the fourth and final time Groucho would use a middle initial in his character's name, but as you can tell by the rankings, I'm not willing to contend he had perfected the maneuver, or at least improved upon previous efforts. Still, the combination of the words Wolf and Flywheel is pretty ridiculous, and of course everyone knows J is the sixth funniest letter in the alphabet.

06: Groucho; Monkey Business [1931]
By naming his Monkey Business character "Groucho" after the name he had used since his old vaudeville days, Julius Henry Marx was perhaps actively trying to blur the lines between Groucho the flesh and blood man, and Groucho, the broad, ridiculous, larger-than-life character he portrayed consistently through all twelve Marx Brothers films. Nah. Groucho's a hilarious name when you think about it.

05: Hammer; The Cocoanuts [1929]
Hammer is a great name for a Groucho character because when you imagine a character named Hammer, the last person you'd expect outside of Don Knotts is Groucho Marx.

04: Attorney Loophole; At The Circus [1939]
Like most of you, I get fairly irritated by most puns and punnish names. Attorney Loophole is a rare exception. Too bad At The Circus is one of the weaker films in the Marx Brothers filmography, despite the potential of the movie's setting.

03: Ronald Kornblow; A Night In Casablanca [1946]
I've never personally known a Ron who went by his full given name of Ronald. I suspect that anybody who goes by the name Ronald, well, the rest of us secretly believe might be a little slow. Kornblow is fantastic. This was the Marx Brothers last film together with Groucho in the starring role.

02: Dr. Hugo Z. Hackenbush; A Day At The Races [1937]
I'm pretty fucking sure this name is supposed to be dirty. Bonus points because I appreciate a nice bush. Plus, I don't have to tell you that Z is the fourth funniest letter in the alphabet.

01: Otis P. Driftwood; A Night At The Opera [1935]
This was the second of four times Groucho's character had a middle initial, and obviously, the highest ranked of the four, but that's because of Driftwood. It's probably only me, but I find Driftwood to be a perfectly silly name, especially when hitched to another doofus name like Otis. Considering the character is a greasy, weaselly business manager, Driftfood also serves to suggest a man who lacks a moral center. An ethical anchor. Also, P is the third funniest letter in the alphabet, as everybody knows.

Blather.

Hotcha! Hank

Addendum

In case you didn't know the popularly accepted rankings of the funniest letters in the Roman alphabet...I don't necessarily agree with this list, but I won't argue about it either, except to say that I am surprised that G is #1. In who's world? I'm a P guy all the way...

01: G
02: K
03: P
04: Z
05: Q
06: J
07: W
08: M
09: F
10: B
11: S
12: O
13: X
14: V
15: H
16: L
17: U
18: T
19: Y
20: D
21: R
22: N
23: A
24: I
25: C
26: E

Hotcha! Hank

HANK RANKS No. 21

My 8 Favorite Stooges + Ted Healy

There were seven Stooges in all...Moe was the first, with Larry and Shemp joining him in 1923...They worked as a supporting act for Ted Healy on the vaudeville circuit, and for the first couple of years they were known as Ted Healy & The Three Lost Souls, or Ted Healy & His Southern Gentlemen...In 1925 they started calling themselves the Stooges, but it wasn't until they parted ways with Ted Healy in 1934 that they started calling themselves the Three Stooges. It was also about this time that Curly replaced Shemp, thus forming the most famous (if not popular) combination of Stooges in their 53 year history (alot of folks like Shemp better than Curly).

After Curly suffered a stroke in 1946, Shemp returned to the fold for another decade, but by now, these guys were pushing 50, and the times had changed...For the next and last 20 years of the Three Stooges, three fairly large but unremarkable men would fill that third slot alongside Moe and Larry...Here's how I rank 'em.

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09: Emil Sitka [1975]

08: Joe Besser [1957-1959]

07: Curly Joe DeRita [1958-1975]

06: Ted Healy [1922-1934]

05: Moe Howard [1922-1975]

04: Ron Asheton [1969-1973, 2007-2009]

03: Shemp Howard [1923-1932, 1947-1956]

02: Curly Howard [1932-1947]

01: Larry Fine [1923-1975]

Hotcha! Hank

Breakdown Dead Ahead

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c

Stephen's Inauguration Breakdown

Colbert at Christmas
Colbert Christmas DVD

Green Screen
Bill O'Reilly Interview

Kinda like that exploding banana head video from the other day...

Kinda?

Hotcha! Hank

On The Fifth Day Of Christmas

I give to thee...FIVE LAUGHING BABIES (Well, technically six)...Cuz the New Year is right around the corner, babycakes! Make a Jazz noise here...I'm telling ya, these laughing baby videos are addictive...

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Hotcha! Hank

Casserole Is Friendship, But Soup Is Cheap Eating

Stephen Colbert is right, as he usually is - the "soup wars" are indeed heating up. With the economy currently collapsing, and the coming winter here in the midwest, there are soup commercials at every break on television, sometimes more than one per break, and yes, that commercial Colbert plays in the clip above is the most prolific, second only to that "Saved By Zero" Toyota commercial overall...And I'll tell you what, the very first time I saw that commercial, and heard that blindfolded woman say "the Petersons-Jacobs farm, I believe", I vowed to myself that I would never eat Campbell's Select Harvest brand soup, which is an easy vow because I never eat soup from a can. That's what a crockpot is for...

Hotcha! Hank

Business Syphilis

Having trouble getting a handle on the crisis on Wall Street? Giving up on ever understanding the complexities of credit default swaps and derivative contracts? Not so fast, Suzy Creamcheese, let Stephen Cobert and Stephen Cobert help us all get to the bottom of it.

Hotcha! Hank

Bernie Mac Maneuvers Sideways

Bernie Mac died from complications of pneumonia almost two weeks ago now, and I feel a little bad that I haven't acknowledged it until now. I love The Bernie Mac Show, his former sitcom that grew directly out of the situation he discusses in this YouTube clip, a segment from his appearance on The Kings Of Comedy.

(Yeah, it's a shame about the "faggot" stuff, but I would say it's an honest reflection of the prevailing attitudes towards homosexuality in the black community, and perhaps Bernie playing to his audience as much as any homophobia he might himself possess. Having said that, it's still not an excuse.)

I love The Bernie Mac Show because while it captures the gruff bluster that could be Bernie Mac, it was a show that also expressed a ton of heart, compassion, and how family, no matter how seemingly dysfunctional, can also be a great source of strength, pride, and love. This may be a somewhat common tone in network sitcom land, but it's typically handled in one of two ways - either incredibly maudlin and saccharine, or overtly cynical for easy laughs. It's difficult to explain, but The Bernie Mac Show somehow balanced these two approaches quite deftly. Bernie Mac's put-upon rage was real, but so was his love for his wife and his sister's three kids, whom he adopted in real life, and on the show.

Bernie Mac was a truth-teller, and he talked about some uncomfortable things, especially in his stand-up act. What's most impressive to me was that he was a man with a certain amount of humility, in that he never shied away from speaking truth about his own shortcomings. He willingly played the clown and the bully, "Bigfoot" as one of his nieces called him, because that was exactly the man he sometimes was. The man was self-aware in a large, large way, and he was more than willing to let us laugh at his shortcomings, as long as we were also willing to appreciate the big heart that beat deep inside.

It's no mistake that The Bernie Mac Show won a Peabody, in addition to a slew of other awards that transcend mere popularity.

Plus, the man, and the show, was infectiously funny, and endearing. You almost can't help but love him. He was one of a kind.

One of the Kings Of Comedy is dead. Long live the king.

Rest in peace, Bernie Mac. You left us way, way too soon.

Hotcha! Hank

Sideways Stuff Maneuver

I'm guessing you've seen this clip already...I'm guessing you've seen a whole lot of George Carlin clips via YouTube already...Definitely this one because it's one of his most beloved...

Ahhh, the incessant chattering of a million blogs...Posting the same CultureData...Backlinking galore...Hit counts aplenty...Compiling countless lists of what's new, what's popular, what's relevant...

Is there a point at which too much signal becomes noise itself?

Hotcha! Hank

"Tits" Doesn't Even Belong On the List...

George Carlin passed away this weekend, as I'm sure you're aware.

I grew up on healthy doses of Carlin. His three classic albums, FM & AM, Class Clown, and Operation Foole, were part of my dad's record collection, and I knew the seven words you can't say on television before I knew what most of those words even meant.

Anyways, I'm not going to bother trying to write something to sum up the man's life and work, or what it meant to me personally. I just thought his passing deserved some sort of acknowledgement. Especially since the mainstream media aren't necessarily falling over themselves to eulogize the man properly. Shit, they're still drunk at Russert's wake, I believe.

To George Carlin - for speaking truth to human stupidity. For making us laugh at ourselves.

RIP, George.

I agree, "tits" sounds like a snack.

Hotcha! Hank

And There's Nothing We Can Do About It

Hotcha! Hank

Yeah, I agree - Titanic SUCKED

Hotcha! Hank

Waaaay South Of Heaven

This would be the coolest billboard liberation ever, if Slayer actually existed.

*snicker*

Hotcha! Hank

Finally, A Mitch Maneuver

This is the late, great Mitch Hedberg, doing a tasty 5 minutes on The Late Show with David Letterman. I believe my first exposure to Hedberg was thanks to Letterman.

The thing I liked most about Mitch, is the fact that he suffered from an almost debilitating stage fright, and yet he battled through it the best he could...The drugs certainly figured into it, but it takes a very certain bravery to tell jokes in front of a live audience, nevermind national network television. A bravery beyond cocaine.

Look at his shaky hand. Imagine the fear behind those shades.

We miss you, Mitch.

Hotcha! Hank

Something 4 The Weekend # 56

Several weeks ago, while trying to choose a song for SOMETHING 4 THE WEEKEND, I asked myself why S4TW had to be a song. "Why can't I share a bit of comedy, or perhaps some spoken word lumpen, or even a famous speech?" I asked myself. Yes, I mulled over this question for awhile that evening, then ended up uploading a couple of Lou Rawls tunes.

So, here we are, a month or so later, and finally I pulled the trigger on some yucks.

Mitch Hedberg: Strategic Grill Locations: "Pancakes" [mp3]

But the thing is, tonight I first uploaded a Townes Van Zandt tune, "Cocaine Blues", because I had been listening to alot of TVZ this past week at work...But as luck or fate would have it, my eyes happened upon the Mitch Hedberg folder on my harddrive, and I thought about the fact that Hedberg died of a drug overdose in 2005. Specifically, cocaine and heroin, a combo better known as "speedballs".

Speedballing is a wicked, often lethal combination. First the cocaine hits you, raising the pulse, but that drug quickly wears off, leaving the effects of the heroin trailing in it's wake, which lowers yr heart rate, which is typically when yr respiratory system fails, and yr body is found the next morning in a trashed room of a Motel 6.

Townes Van Zandt didn't die of a drug overdose, though he did battle alcoholism most of his adult life. Instead, he died of a blood clot in one of his lungs following hip surgery. He was 53.

Townes Van Zandt: Live At The Old Quarter: "Cocaine Blues" [mp3]

You probably see where this is going. Hedberg. Speedballs. Cocaine. Heroin.

The Velvet Underground: The Velvet Underground & Nico: "Heroin" [mp3]

VU's guitarist, Sterling Morrison, died of Lymphoma in 1995.

Despite a deep and dark history of drug abuse, Lou Reed is still with us, as is John Cale and Mo Tucker.

So, anyways, I don't really intend that this S4TW be some sort of downer. Mitch Hedberg was a damn funny guy, Townes Van Zandt was a damn fine songwriter and a damn compelling performer, and The Velvet Underground were a damn excellent band.

Three damn fine lumpen for the price of one.

Hotcha Damn! Hank

Hot Thursday Filler

Some of you no doubt remember MUCKO! from ye olde ButterScotch Threshold, and if you do, then you will perhaps remember that the typical carwreck MUCKO! involved namechecking a heavy metal band, which isn't actually funny (though I find it amusing), and might be slightly less unfunny if I namechecked soft rock artists like John Denver or The Carpenters instead. Anyways, for the sake of tradition (and what am I if not sentimental?), here's a "classic" carwreck MUCKO!

And for the sake of full disclosure, I always associate car wrecks with CD or tape decks because a dude I went to high school with (and shall remain nameless), once drove his car up into a driveway, hitting a car parked there, all because he was changing cassettes in his car stereo and wasn't watching the road. As the story goes, he was taking out Def Leppard's High & Dry tape to put in Scorpion's Blackout tape...Anyways, he wasn't seriously hurt, though the auto body repair bills for both cars were rather expensive.


Hotcha! Hank

HOT ROD!

HOT ROD is HOT POOP!

That's my easily digestible soundbyte for Andy Samberg's new Comedy, Hot Rod...

To get a bit (or alot) more longwinded about this, check it out >>>>>

Ten minutes into this movie, I leaned over to Taber and said, "This might be the dumbest movie I've ever seen in my life", which I meant in a complimentary way. In fact, when all is said and done, Hot Rod may have replaced Dumb & Dumber as my favorite Dumb Comedy of All-Time...

And by Dumb Comedy, perhaps I should say Smart Dumb Comedy, because this sort of nonsense is intentially dumb, as opposed to any of Ice Cube's last three or four comedies, which are just plain dumb. Movies ignorant of their own stupidity.

Andy Samberg and his friends (director Akiva Schaffer, co-star Jorma Taccone) know Hot Rod is a dumb movie, full of dumb people saying and doing dumb things, and it takes a bit of smarts to make it work and make it funny, as this film so often and so convincingly is...As they daringly do...

Pam Brady wrote the script. She's also written several episodes of Fox's recently-cancelled sitcom, The Loop, as well as episodes of South Park, the South Park Movie, and Team America: World Police...That's a damn solid resume, cuz really, The Loop was pretty funny, and well, South Park, dude...

So what all these smart and funny people have done with Hot Rod, is fashion as silly and dumb a film as they possibly could...They took the Anchorman: Ron Burgundy template, and turned it inside out...Stretched the gooey dumb as far as possible and gave us something as oftentimes borders on the surreal. Small explosions of dada from time to time...Small moments of tender mercies, allowing us to catch our breath...

Speaking of...I heard rumor that this was originally supposed to be a Will Ferrell movie, but he's just too old for the role...It had to be about teenagers and/or indeterminate 20-somethings, and Samberg, in particular, performs the lead role with 100% goofy abandon...

Oh, the plot? Samberg plays Rod Kimble, a young Evel Knievel-kinda stuntman, who is an achingly awful stuntman, who gives up his pathetic career and his fake moustache, only to have love and probable head traumas bring him back for one last jump to raise $50,000 dollars for his step-dad's operation...

The step-dad is played fucking brilliantly by respected UK actor, Ian McShane, and the hardcore "issues" between Rod and his step-dad provide a seriously dark streak of black comedy to all the dumbness...Meanwhile, Sissy Spacek plays Rod's mom as a flighty, granola kinda woman, oblivious to the anger and violence between her husband and son...and possibly medicated...

Interesting and successful casting to say the least, althought If I have one complaint, it's Wil Arnett's role as Jonathan, the smarmy tool kinda character that is quickly painting Arnett into a very small corner...Is this the only thing Wil Arnett can do, or is this the only thing Hollywood is handing him? Either way...yawn...And I yawn while telling you that I'm a bonafide Arrested Development freak, and his role as GOB was singularly great. He perfectly nails this smarmy tool kinda guy, so now, leave it alone...Everything I've seen him do since has been an emptier and more meaningless take on GOB...

Oh, and Isla Fisher as the sweet eye candy love interest, and newcomer Danny McBride as one of Kimble's crew, who turns in my favorite character/performance in the whole film...

Anyways...this is all just to say (Arnett aside) that I laughed louder and more often during Hot Rod than any other movie I've seen in a long, long, long time...I also groaned a fair amount, and said "awww, Geezus" on occasion...

Of course, I was also hopped up on kind and 24 ounces of Cherry Blast Icee, but still, this movie is epic in it's stupidity, an instant comedy classic that should stand up pretty well to repeated viewings...Your opinion may vary...

Oh, plus, I saw a FREE advanced screening of this movie, so take that any way you want...

5 out of 5

Hotcha!

Hank

Lobster Day Parade

I don't have cable television, so I am forced to endure the inferior size and quality of YouTube, or somehow manage to work things like this to the top of my Netflix queue. Anyways, I've watched enough Tom Goes To The Mayor lumpen on the internet to say with some confidence that I really don't know what to think of the show. On the one hand, it makes me chuckle quite frequently, laugh out loud less frequently, and make me think exactly once every six minutes. This clip is apparently a webisode, and lends further credence to my tepid opinion that David Cross is generally overrated, although I'm willing to admit that his turn as Tobias Funke on Arrested Development was nothing short of brilliant. Anyways, the Thumbs up Monkey undoubtedly loves it all.

Hotcha! Hank

DRAMA!

Via Boing Boing, this video is being touted as the funniest 5 seconds on the internet. I dunno if that's necessarily true, but I have to admit, it holds up well to repeated viewings. I've watched it roughly 47 times so far. I wonder what the funniest 3 seconds on the internet might be.

Hotcha! Hank